Ready for the snow

Chemo brain can't really recall last night - I know I watched 190 North but can't remember after that. Nick was up first but then Ellie came in and asked Nick to come do shadow's on her wall - I got 10 more minutes of sleep. We got dressed and went down for breakfast. We got Ellie ready for school and off to the bus. I talked with Mom and we were going to go grocery shopping today to prepare for the "life threatening blizzard" that is supposed to hit tomorrow.
Mom came to pick us up and we stopped into Van Maur to exchange Mom's boots for a different size and then we headed to Target. We picked up a couple new movies - Despicable Me and Shrek the Final Chapter. We picked up Wendy's on our way to Aldi to grocery shop. I have to interrupt the re-cap of the day to say this could be the crappiest chemo week ever if this blizzard really pans out - it for sure will be crappy with the cold effect and the windchill and actual cold that will be coming. Done ranting.
I was able to pick up things for the just in case scenario - we have milk, bread and cheese. Mom dropped us back at home and Nick immediately watched Despicable Me. I checked email and had received an email from cleaning for a reason saying that they had received my doctor's note and would research cleaning companies in my area. Not even an hour later I got another email saying the companies in my area are booked and I should encourage my local cleaning companies to sign up and then I could re-apply (and ask my doctor for another note) at a later date. I have to say I am more than a bit disappointed - its not that I can't clean, it is that this has been so tauted and talked about that I can't believe that near a major cancer center there aren't more companies participating.
Nick and I bundled up to pick up Ellie from the bus stop -it was cold today (and not really that cold). Ellie worked on her homework and then her and Nick finished watching the movie. Rob came home with a friend and helped him with some video conversions. I got dinner set up so Rob just needed to put it in the oven. Ellie and I left for pottery - Nick really wanted to come with us. Nick apparently cranked the front window open and tried to escape.
Ellie and I glazed our pottery from the past few weeks and Ellie finished up her coil pot. When we left it was just starting to snow but had progressively fallen since. Dinner was ready when we got home and smelled good. We had dinner and then Rob went out to buy some more salt because it is better to be prepared than behind. I took a quick shower and then we got the kiddos to bed. I am watching the weather right now and I am so dreading the next couple days. Ellie's field trip was cancelled tomorrow - she was supposed to be going to Somme Woods for their Mighty Acorn's field trip - its a 3 part series (fall, winter and spring). Ellie was kind of bummed out but in light of the wind chills I am glad she won't be outside for 2 hours.
The fact that the prediction is for about 20" of snow makes me a bit sick. Ellie is supposed to have her first session with the therapist at cancer wellness tomorrow after school - in Northbrook. I am not looking forward to the drive there or back - Mom joked that Nick might have to spend the night at her house. The only sunny side of this prediction is that we live where we do and after 2" of snowfall the city comes out and does the public walkways with a bobcat. As true to the past infusions - I am feeling all better today and that will change tomorrow. Other rant of the day - our credit card number was part of a third party security breach (for about the 3rd time in a year) and we got new cards today. This frustrates me because I have to change over all our automatic charges - ipass, park district, cel-phones... and I have to memorize a new card number - oh well. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body, the snow to not start really coming down until after Ellie and I make it home tomorrow night and the new normal me - whoever that shall be, Tree

Laid back Sunday

Rob went up to bed early last night because he was sneezing and congested. I watched SNL and then the 2 Chicago programs after it and wasn't sleepy but decided to go up to bed. When I got upstairs I found Nick in my spot in bed - I moved him back to his bed. Crappy sleep night all around. We were all up early, Rob was ushering at church so we needed to be there earlier than normal.
The kids helped Rob set up at church - putting out the song sheets and take home ideas on the seats. Ellie was asked to be the helper with the candles and was honored. Ellie took Nick down to nursery and then was off to middle group for Sunday school. We visited with friends after church before heading home.
We had some lunch, read the newspaper and the kids played. We have had "late" nights since Thursday and the tiredness/crankiness definitely caught up with the kids today. I put in Mary Poppins hoping for some nice cuddle time on the couch but neither of the kids were really into it. I ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour. We cleaned up the legos and then we headed to Mom and Dad's for dinner.
Mom had a feast, as usual. Ellie, Jo and I helped Mom get dinner together and out on the table. We had a lovely dinner together - good food, good laughs. There was a very yummy bundt cake with lots of chocolate frosting for dessert. We did a Scarlett change out - still not happy. We headed home because the stinky kids needed a bath. Rob was on bath duty and I registered both Ellie and Nick for summer camp. I blow dried the kids hair and then it was off to bed time.
I am blogging while watching The Kids are Alright - interesting. I realize it everyday but just want to mention it here - I am very thankful for the family and friends I have. The cards and emails I get from you guys checking in and inspiring me to keep being who I am. The visits and phone calls keep me going. This week is predicted to be pretty crappy weather with possible blizzard conditions - should be fun infusion and travels. I am feeling great today - just some back pain. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

A houseful of cinderellies

I was up way too late last night - I fell asleep on the couch sometime during the "up too late" and awoke and went up to bed around 3:30. Rob was up first and then Nick came in and I persuaded him to go down and open the boxes that came yesterday, Ellie slept in a bit. I went back to sleep for a bit and made my way down around 8:30.
We had no real plans for the day. Rob had a small job to do, the kids wanted to play and Ellie wanted to get her time with Grams and Gramps. Nick helped me with some laundry transferring and helped Rob with garbage. Ellie went to work cleaning up some of the toys around the living room and then vacuumed the living room. Nick really wanted to help vacuum so we had to make a deal, Ellie would vacuum the rugs but Nick got to use the wand to get the wood floor areas. I jumped in the shower before Rob left and came down to the kids still wanting to help.
We were on a mission, we have a missing library book and I can say now that we have seriously turned the house inside out and it is not here. Ellie was a big helper and we organized many of the cabinets in the kitchen. We paired together the rubbermaid/tupperware lids to containers and got rid of the non-matched. I cleaned out my "junk" drawers, I think some things have been in those drawers for years. We had some lunch and continued our cleaning. We re-planted our aero garden (hydroponic garden) in the kitchen with lettuce. Nick helped me plant some seeds - basil, parsley and chives and a pot of rubekia.
Rob cleaned the ceiling fan blades - yuck. I gave the kids clorox wipes and they cleaned the fronts of the kitchen cabinets. Nick helped me sort laundry upstairs and helped carry it downstairs - scary. Ellie wanted to help out too - so Nick took laundry out of the dryer and Ellie emptied the washer into the dryer and loaded the washer - magical fairies...
Ellie was picked up by Mom and Dad for some Grandparent time - Nick didn't even realize she was gone until about 2 hours later. The kitchen looks great - I still have the stove, the toaster oven and fridge to clean but the one half is clean and completely organized. I got my boxes 'o crap emptied and now only have one (I had 3). Rob tried to take a couple boxes to Salvation but the truck was closed for the day. We had a huge bag of garbage and a couple boxes of recycling.
I compared notes with Mom and Ellie was going to stay there for dinner, we placed a Dengeo's order. Nick took a ride with me to pick it up and was hoping for a balloon but they were out. We had a nice dinner together and then it was bedtime. I got Nick into PJs and put him to bed - his mind was still going way too fast though. Ellie came home about 20 minutes after Nick went to sleep and Rob took her up to bed.
Crappy tv night - so its just background to playing games on facebook and blogging. I am feeling good today - my hands are the biggest thing, mostly just very dry but tinglies a couple times during the day. I just saw the polar bear plunge on the news - people are nuts to be in the lake today. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me, Tree

Friday Finds

I watched my usual tbs comedy tv last night and then food network and then I couldn't really find anything interesting and went up to bed. Rob was working a PM shift at work today so he was home until 1PM to join in our fun. The kids were us early, despite their late night last night. We had breakfast, got Ellie ready for school and off to the bus. We got dressed eventually and ready for the day.
I had read about a warehouse sale in Highland Park for an upscale kids shop in Andersonville and wanted to check it out. We had a nice, sunny ride up and found the spot eventually. We walked in and walked out in about 60 seconds. While they were very nicely organized by size, sex and price - the warehouse prices began at $15 a piece and went up to $60. There was one table of decorative letters (to spell out a name) and those were $20 a piece - warehouse sale my butt. The amazing part was women were packing boxes full of clothing and it wasn't like there was a fill a bag for $25 option.
We stopped by another thrift store while we were up North but found nothing good. We started making our way back home but something told me to stop at the Salvation "Stinky" Army - this is what Nick calls our local SA that I really don't care for because it is 1)stinky and 2) overstuffed with merchandise and even if you aren't claustrophobic you feel like you are in this store. Nick and I ran in while Rob waited out in the car - first score, two jumbo bags of duplo blocks (fun ones - racing cars, bob the builder and winnie the pooh) for $2.06 a bag and then we found a box of legos with thomas pieces and track for $4.06. To top off the score - a foam three eyed man head covering from Toy Story - we decided last night that Rob was going to be a three eyed man for Halloween because the kids got hats with their cotton candy last night - but the mask today is far superior.
We came home and consolidated our legos - we bagged up the mega block legos to donate to school. Rob left for work and Nick and I had a lovely lunch together. We played legos until it was time to get Ellie from the bus. Ellie was joining Rob tonight at school to help tape the dance performance and get to watch it too. I was dropping her off early so they could go to dinner together beforehand. Nick and I were having dinner with Mom and Dad. Nick was very happy to have Gramps back home to play with.
Mom made a most excellent dinner - scalloped cheesy potatoes, chicken meatballs, broccoli, fruit salad and a regular salad. My initial offering of salad last week worked and I have to tell you one of the first things I am eating when good old Scarlett is reversed is a huge salad - well maybe not one of the first things. Nick danced up a storm for us - entertaining as usual. He started doing Buzz Lightyear jumps off the ottoman and onto Dad, Mom or me - except you just had to watch him to know he was coming your direction - no advance warning.
We came home and I got Nick ready for bed - he knocked out pretty quick tonight. Rob and Ellie got home a bit ago - Ellie was super excited that she got to help tape and she got to go on stage and dance with the dancers. I was flipping through trying to find something to watch and landed on comedy central and watched Gabriel Inglesia - omg - too funny. I am hoping he books something near us on his tour.
Let's see what is bothering me today - only tinglies in my right hand. Teeth pain comes and goes. Bloody nose is still bloody. Not sure what is on the agenda for the weekend - Rob is doing some side work tomorrow - hmmm - what to do? Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Thursday and Disney

I went up later last night - dozed on the couch for a while. The kiddos were up early - their new thing is building tents in Ellie's bed in the morning. We got breakfast and got ready for school. Ellie made her voyage to the bus and then I tried to have Nick more - he is on this kick of not wanting to eat in the morning, he says he can have an extra snack at school.
I drove Nick to school and then had some retail therapy. I headed up to Glenview Community Church - everything is 50% off - they are trying to get rid of Winter to bring out Spring. Nothing great there - I got Nick a Superman cape and an outfit for his Bitty Baby. I stopped into Whole Foods but left with just baked veggie chips. I went to Von Maur - this is where I spent an hour. I found Mom Bogs boots in shoe clearance. I have to say - if I had unlimited money I would so go nuts in the shoe department at Von Maur. I found some great clearance in the kids shoe department, too. I got Ellie a pair of North Face Running shoes and Nick a pair of fuzzy crocs that look like bears. I finished my shopping adventure with some Chinese New year plates and bowls for Mom.
I looked at my inspiration felted wool scarf again - still full price and I have to say, I think my scarves came out much better. I got gad and stopped in the bakery on my way to get Nick. Nick came into the car with lots of stories - they went on a "field trip" to the library today and the librarian read them stories. We went over to Mom's house and had lunch and the boys played. Nick tried on his Superman cape and ran around the house "flying". Mom made Tony a cape from fabric and they chased each other around.
Mom helped me change Scarlett - un-happy in a totally different spot today. The boys helped - well kind of if you think about a 2 and 3 year old helping. It was time to get Ellie and Nick insisted on drinking his entire sipper of milk before we left. We beat the bus - yeah, and Ellie decided to race us home and slipped on the ice - thankfully not hurt just wet. Ellie did her homework and Nick played with legos.
Rob came home and we got to talk for a couple minutes without interruption but the excitement was too much for the kids - Disney on Ice Toy Story 3. We had some snack and packed our water bottles and were on our way to Allstate to see the show. If you are local and have kids who enjoyed Toy Story this was a wonderful show - almost 2 hours long. FYI - if you are buying tickets try using the promo code "mom" the tickets for the section we sat in were originally $25 but we got them for $11. The kids loved the show and it was very entertaining for adults too. I think my favorite part might have been Ken and Barbie.
We were able to take a side exit and get to the car before the rush. We talked about the show all the way home and, of course, Nick fell asleep 3 minutes from home. We got home and got the kids into PJs and right to bed. Felling pretty good today - teeth seem to be the same, hands not so bothersome anymore and my feet aren't tingly they are just cold - ah, need to put on the Uggs. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me, Tree

can you believe it - 250th post

I realized a couple days ago that my post tonight would be number 250 - amazing. I was so tired last night and when Rob said he was going up to bed - I went up with him. I had an average nights sleep - the house is too dry (even with humidifiers) and I don't have water by the bed anymore because it is too cold to drink. The kids were up early and played in Ellie's room until I got up at 7:30. I got the kids breakfast and Ellie a snack for school. I was still tired and so wanted to go back into bed. I watched Ellie walk to the bus stop - still treacherous with the ice.
I got Nick ready for school and then we were off - he happily walked in and I went back home and set the timer on the stove and fell asleep on the sofa. I woke up before the timer went off and got ready to pick up Nick. We went to Mom's house after school and Nick and Tony watched Despicable Me. Mom made the boys dino PB&Js, I made myself a grilled cheese.
Nick had an appointment at the lab in Northwestern today - so we left Mom's and went there. He got excited when we got there because he suddenly remembered that there were toys to play with. While I filled out the paperwork and signed the consent form - Nick played with Jenna (the student in charge of the study). Nick went and did the study which was comparing young 3 year olds with older 3 year olds and seeing their classification of animals, humans and things. Nick got to pick out a book and we were on our way home.
Nick played with legos and I read through the mail before we bundled up to walk down to get Ellie from the bus. Nick found a plastic bottle in the snow and we played soccer with it until the bus came and then Nick kicked it home to recycle it. Ellie did some of her homework when we got home and she joined Nick in playing. They both helped me switch loads of laundry - Nick pulling the clothes from the dryer, Ellie unloading the washer and both of them getting the fabric sheet in.
Rob got home and the kids sort of went momentarily nuts. I ordered pizza and went to pick it up while Rob gave the kids baths, Ellie finished her home work and they cleared and set the table. I left early enough to stop in Constructive Playthings on my way - I am looking for inspiration for the Valentine's craft for school. I got no inspiration there but got little plastic bags, some St. Patrick's day clings and tissue paper squares/ I got our pizza and headed home - I forgot how good stuffed pizza is - yum. We got vitamins ready, brushed teeth and tucked the kids in.
Nothing good on tv tonight - so it is just serving as background noise. Other than being tired, my feet are kind of acting up again. My gums are still hurting - kind of the tingle you get when you eat something spicy. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Woohoo its Tuesday

I can't recall last night other than I know I watched all of George Lopez and went up sometime after that. Good night of sleep - Nick woke up around 6:30 and Ellie around 7:00. I woke up and got the kids clothes ready and jumped in the shower. I got them breakfast when I got downstairs and then got Ellie a snack for school. I flipped loads of laundry and put a pot of water on for tea. We got Ellie bundled up and she walked to the bus stop.
I got Nick ready for school and we dropped him off - he loves school now. I went to Salvation and found some good things - a Chinese New Year Shirt for Ellie, a couple dress shirts for Nick, a pair of very cute mary jane red suede shoes for Ellie and a new science kit for the kids. I then tackled Big Lots - picked up some green tea, some granola bars and some valentine items. I stopped into Lands End - Rob's boots had fallen apart and I wanted to know if they would do anything. I ended up picked up Ellie a couple pairs of capris for the summer (50% off) and a very warm looking fleece sweater for me.
I still had about 45 minutes until I needed to pick up Nick so I stopped in to the produce store and picked up some fruit and veggies and meat and cheese for the week. I picked up Nick and we came home and unloaded the car. Nick helped me put the groceries away. I made up lunch - Nick wa very happy to have grapes again. He asked to watch - wait, wait, Ramona and Beezus - again. We made brownies for Millietime and cuddled on the couch.
I had a breakthrough communication day - thank you all my friends who have forwarded me links for cleaning for a reason - I was finally able to get through to an application today. For those for don;t know Cleaning for a Reason is a non-for -profit that offers women undergoing treatment for cancer 4 maid sessions. I think this is awesome because I can't touch my toilets or fridge right now and they are gross.
We got Ellie off the bus and she went right to work doing her homework. We packed up for Mom's and were on our way. Millietime was awesome - loved having Marg join us - such a treat. Many laughs and memories. We had our white elephant - getting rid of new things that others might want - very funny.
We left way too late and we were all tired. I got the kids to sleep but Rob came home in time to get Ellie tucked in. Nick and Ellie were both asleep quickly and here I am blogging and probably not making too much sense - we had Tom and Jerry's tonight and its my first night drinking in a week. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Movie mania Monday

Rob went up to bed during the news but I stayed down here until about 11:30. Had a most excellent nights sleep, Nick woke up around 5:30AM and I tried endlessly to convince him it wasn't time to be up because it was still dark outside. Somewhere around 6:00AM he was persuaded and fell back to sleep until 8AM. Ellie was up early and when I got up she got dressed and we got her backpack together. Ellie walked cautiously to the bus stop because under that fresh snow was still a sidewalk full of ice.
Nick picked his clothes out and he got dressed and brushed his teeth. I called Mom and told her we would come on over to see her - Dad left this morning for the week in Tennessee. Nick wanted to bring Ramona and Beezus for Grams to watch - 4 days in a row. I think I know why he likes the movie - Ramona has a very vivid imagination and there are a couple choice scenes that crack him up. He is quoting from the movie now so I think I might need to hide it, "Butt out, Beezus," he says as he walks around the house.
Nick and I returned our books to the library and then went over to Mom's. I poured myself a cup of tea and we waited for Mom to start the movie. We snacked on pirate booty and Mom made Nick some hot cocoa. After the movie Nick wanted another movie and we found Princess and the Frog was available to stream from Netflix - Nick started watching the movie while getting his haircut last week but we only got to see the first 20 minute. This movie is dark, scary and bizarre - I know, the whole New Orleans voodoo thing but its like drug induced Alice in Wonderland meets drug induced Fantasia and I thought for sure Nick would be having nightmares. We had lunch along the way - Mom always makes food fun - cutting the PB&J into dinosaurs and splitting a Clementine in half to look like basketballs.
Movie mania wasn't finished yet because we still had time before we had to pick up Ellie - Mom found Tom & Jerry Meets Sherlock Holmes to stream - Tony started the Tom and Jerry kick but my kiddos love it too. While we were watching the movie I checked my email and found the best surprise - Marg facebooked me and said she would see us tomorrow at Millies. I shared this news with Mom and we both envisioned that we would Skype her into Millietime tomorrow but no, Marg is coming into town - very exciting.
I wheeled the garbage cans back while Mom got Nick dressed to go. We waited for Ellie's bus to come and then attempted to shovel but the ice was still too thick and solid. Ellie did her spelling and then she joined Nick playing with legos. I did some laundry and Nick helped out - don't know what fairy sprinkled magic in our house but I am really enjoying the new found help. He tried to fold laundry but he ended up pulling each piece out of the dryer and telling me which basket it should go in. We went upstairs and Nick helped me put the clothes away.
Rob got home and we talked about dinner plans - he and Nick could make dinner while Ellie and I were at pottery or we could pick up Chinese on the way home - take out it was. Nick asked if he could do garbage duty and emptied all the cans into the big garbage can - fairy dust. Nick and Rob got busy on some puzzles and Ellie and I got on our way to pottery. We had a lovely class tonight - I made a trivet and a shamrock and Ellie made a plate and started a coil pot vase. We picked up food on the way home - Ellie ran in to pay and pick it up - love the way she is growing up. We talked on the way over about the cost of each entree and then we added them up and deducted our coupon and estimated tax so she knew she should be getting about $5.00 in change.
We had dinner when we got home, Nick and Rob had cleared the table and Nick had set it. We got vitamins and PJs on, brushed teeth and chose books. We got the kids to sleep and then Rob and I met up on the couch. I know Scarlett is un-happy, I can feel the burn. My hands are better today - I just need to keep them warm. My teeth are still annoying, I have read that chemo is very rough on gums and that is where the pain is - at the junction of the teeth meeting the gums. My nose is extremely dry and I have been using saline to try to keep it moist and pain free. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Bears suck Sunday

I stayed on the couch for a while last night trying to become sleepy enough to go upstairs. When I finally made it up there it was decent sleep. The kids were up before me and Rob took Nick down - I got an extra 30 minutes. Rob was going to church and was taking the kids with but i stayed home. We got the kids dressed in their Bears apparel in hopes of a win.
I got some laundry done while they were at church and made some cinnamon rolls and cookies. I read the paper before the gang came home. It was an at home day because it was cold outside. The kids played well together for the most part. We had a dance party in the living room - I put on some favorite songs and we turn the volume up and go crazy dancing. I can survive for about 3 songs before I am out of breath and tired but the kids keep going and going like the Energizer bunny.
The kids made cute Chicago Bears cards for everyone - they helped each other out. I have to say both of the kids are really helping out around the house - we've never been a chore house with assigned chores or allowance but as the kids are getting older and to teach them about setting goals and earning money vs spending money - I've created a list on the fridge simply - What I can do if I want to help Mom out. There are about 8 things on the list ranging from laundry to garbage, organizing books to vacuuming. When we talked about the items on the list and how much each item might be worth - ranging from .25 to 1.00 and when the item is done the money can either be stored by us for a shopping trip or can be put into her bank. Nick has jumped on the bandwagon too and he did the garbage run with Rob today and this morning he took out the little broom and shovel and swept the kitchen floor.
We watched the disastrous Bears game. We went to Mom and Dad's for dinner after half time. Mom had a nice spread with salad, broccoli, tortellini, fruit salad. This was the first time since surgery I have tried salad - I will let you know tomorrow if it was a smart move or not. We brought over the cookies we had made for dessert but Mom had tiramisu - yum. The kids were on a roll with cracking us up tonight. Tony squirted Nick with fake mustard and Nick took his shirt off because it was then dirty.
Dad gave Ellie his old itouch tonight and to say the girl was thrilled is an understatement. Dad picked up a Hello Kitty wrap for it and matching ear buds. Ellie didn't put it down until bedtime. We did a Scarlett change out - still very red and sore. We came home and got the kids in their PJs and then they each played with their itouches (Nick is very proficient on mine). We put the kiddos to bed and watched bad tv. Rob went up to bed a bit ago and I just put on a pot of water for tea. The wind is howling through the door - cold. Busy week ahead here - pottery tomorrow, Nick starts school again, Millietime, Toy Story on Ice.
So my teeth are beginning to bother me again with the dull pain. The good news is my feet aren't bothering me anymore with these new Uggs. My hands are still full of tinglies - I had to put the newspaper under the heat vent for about 30 minutes before I was able to open it up and read it. I am thankful that the claritin really did go back to working this infusion. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Super Saturday

Rob and I both went up to bed after the news last night and I spent all night in bed. Ellie was up first this morning and then Nick and Rob went down letting me get an extra hour sleep. I made banana chocolate chip pancakes when I got up. I made a list for Target because if I don't make lists I cannot recall what I need when I get there - chemo brain. I took a quick shower and then put away a basket of laundry. I pulled the sheets from the beds and got new sheets on. The kids have gone wild about helping out with "chores" lately and Nick wanted to know he could help with and Ellie put all her laundry away without being asked.
We all got in the car and drove to Mom and Dad's because the kids wanted to show off their haircuts and then we were Target bound. We got everything on our list and then some - found a replacement shovel on clearance and a new wireless mouse for the computer. We picked up lunch on the way home and we ate together before the kids went to play. After lunch I relaxed on the couch and caught up on a couple magazines. Rob and the kids started to demolish the cabinet in the basement - we have a rough idea of what we want Rob to build in its place.
Jo stopped by with a 'congrats your scan was negative' gift - a pair of Uggs to keep my feet warm. I have to say they are very warm and toasty and I have had them on since she called to find out if I tired them on yet - thanks, Jo and Ole. We had a re-heat supper to clean out the fridge and the kids both wanted to watch Ramona and Beezus - again.
We got the kiddos to bed and now Rob and I have a netflix in that we have had for weeks now. My feet are much improved except for when I stepped onto the cold tile floor in the bathroom with naked feet. My hands are about the same - just tinglies when they are exposed to cold. The house is so dry, even with the humidifier running, that my nose is still dry and bloody. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

5th infusion has made me so sleepy

I went up at a normal hour last night and slept in bed all night. It was freezing here this morning and I was trying to decided if I should send Ellie out to wait for the bus or drive her but in the end sent her out to the bus stop. Nick and I had a kicked back morning - I pretty much fell asleep on the couch and Nick played on the rug. It was like every time I thought I had enough sleep I was drowsy again and needed more. Eventually, we braved the cold and went to Mom's.
We picked up Wendy's on the way over we immediately dug in - I was hungry and nauseous. Mom and I changed out Scarlett - she is un-happy again. An update on the ordering - I called my old friend, Jen Dore at the hospital to see if she had any magic she could work. I also called Hollister (the manufacturer) and they are sending me out a couple samples to hold me until the referral comes through. I had a few voice mails while at Mom's - 1st, Jen worked her magic with the HMO, 2nd the HMO sent the referral in for 12 months and finally Mark Drug is mailing out my order.
I somehow found my way to the couch again and that just naturally led me into sleep. Maybe I need to drink coffee on these post infusion mornings - its just the thought of all that acid with all the poison already in my system. Nick and I said goodbye to Mom and were on our way to pick up Ellie. Ellie came home with a huge smile on her face because she got 100% on her spelling test and it was some sort of special science day. We didn't stay home long because I had appointments for the kids to get their haircut.
We picked out their movies and Ellie went first - Ellie has a lot of hair and she wanted it short again - there was a bunch of hair on the floor when she was done but she looks super cute. Yvonne, the stylist, had asked how short we went with Nick's hair last time because she was thinking it looked pretty good still. I told her to take an inch off and he has the shortest haircut he has ever had but looks super handsome. His remark to Ellie while she was getting her haircut was, Ellie your hair looks like a beanbag?!?! not sure about that one but we all laughed.
We picked up Portillo's on the way home - I have had on/off nausea all day and dinner time it was full on. The kids asked if we could have movie night and Nick wanted to watch the movie with the big sister and little sister - again confused - Beezus and Ramona. We ate dinner, took a quick bath to get the hair off and returned to the couch for movie night. It was very cute, Nick was sitting in my lap and Ellie was on the opposite end of the couch and he pulled back the blanket and asked her to come cuddle with us.
So, the tear pain factor is still in effect - I started crying at the movie and was in instant eye tremor pain. My feet have gotten worst - it feels like I have ran a marathon barefoot - just constant throbby pain. I have become a complainer - I know. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whoever that shall be, Tree

Disconnect Thursday

I had a lovely night on the couch until my Nick wake up call around 4:30AM. We climbed back up the stairs and went to bed - Nick ended up sleeping until 8AM. Ellie packed her bag and bundled up and successfully made it to the bus stop without falling - the sidewalk is one giant sheet of ice and salt doesn't work when it is as cold as it is out.
I placed a phone call into Mark Drugs to find out the status of my ostomy order I had placed a week ago. My stupid doctor still hadn't sent the referral and when I called the office the receptionist asked if it was like a prescription refill - well no. Mark Drug said they would try but they had no success either. I ended up having to put a call into Dr. Muldoon for the referral - you know, confirm I have an ostomy and do indeed need supplies. This is frustrating as it can get and I am hoping to order enough extras over the next 3 months that I don't have to go through this again. Long story short - by the end of the day Mark Drug still doesn't have the referral but they think the footwork has been laid for it tomorrow. Seriously, there isn't a black market as far as I know.
Nick was going to come with me to the hospital but when he found an open invite to Grams he wanted to go there instead. We brought a couple movies with and I was on my way to Kellogg. I got there a bit early and went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions and then waited for Deb. Deb came to get me and I went to work peeling tape off while she got my flushes ready. I got my nuelasta shot and I am hoping it is not like last time, although, it really hurt while being injected today.
I went back to Mom's and the boys were playing - I put in Ratatouille for them to watch and Mom made some lunch for us. I ended up passing out on the couch and Mom played with the boys. I woke up a bit before it was time to pick up Ellie - I was able to help straighten up a bit before leaving. Nick and I waited for the bus and then Ellie decided she wanted to walk home instead of jump in the car and she fell flat on her butt on the ice. Ellie said she was fine and didn't need ice but I think it shocked her that she fell.
Ellie did her home work and then was so happy that she finally had the opportunity to bring home her recorder from school and went right to work practicing. It was school fundraiser night at Noodle and Co so that is where we ordered dinner from. We had our dinner together and then I went to take a long hot shower to remove all my adhesive. My feet are absolutely killing me today - not neuropathy but more the areas that have calluses feel like they are blistered.
My thighs have begun to hurt a bit from the neulasta and my throat feels tight. Since finishing dinner I have felt nauseous - I took an ativan and made some peppermint tea but it just has its surges.
I have total plans on making it up to our bed soon - I am tired. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Middle of the week

First, I am running out of titles after doing this for 9 months...
I watched Conan and George last night and decided I really needed to try to go to sleep so I turned the tv off around midnight. I was so hot last night - I took my socks off and had my feet outside of the blankets - don't know what the heck that was about. I got up to go to the washroom - I still have the faint voice in my head telling me to not hold chemo pee - kidney damage. As I was getting up I heard what I thought was kitty but no, it was Nick.
I took him upstairs and we all slept in our bed - the heat wave continued and I think that might have been Nick's problem too. We all got up this morning and got dressed and had breakfast. I was feeling pretty good. I watched Ellie and the neighbors carefully make their way to the bus stop - the sidewalk was one giant sheet of ice. I called Mom and we decided to head over to her house for some playtime. I asked Nick what he wanted to bring with and he said legos - so we bought the tub o' legos with to Mom's.
The boys played well together for a while - I passed out on the couch. I find with each infusion the tiredness increases and I really need to nap for the following few days. Mom helped me with a Scarlett change - just a bit of breakdown. We had lunch - Nick ate everything. We played until it was time to pick up Ellie and then said good bye. The bus has been running late on the afternoon run this entire week. We came home and Ellie did her homework and Nick played with legos.
Rob came home and talked about his department meeting at work today - things will be changing for him. I took about a 30 minute nap before Mom came over for dinner. We were getting Chili's tonight to celebrate the "no evidence of disease" news. Ellie jumped in to take a shower and Nick did stickers with Mom. We placed our order and Dad picked it up on his way here.
We had a nice dinner and then Nick played with Dad and Ellie went through her spelling words with Mom. We said good night to Mom and Dad and then put the kiddos to bed. Besides the tiredness, the tinglies still happen - doesn't seem as bad as usual but who knows. Teeth are just starting with their dull pain. I ordered our tickets for Toy Story Disney on Ice next week - I had been holding on because I didn't want to get them if I didn't have infusion this week and had to have it next week and then the cold of the arena. I think the kids will be mega excited because we have sort of prepared them that it might not happen. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

No evidence of dieases

I stayed on the couch last night so I didn't pick up any of the icky germs Rob was coughing and snotting out. Around 6:30AM I heard the gate open and move many times upstairs and then the pitter patter of little feet. Nick came down to find me with all his stuffed animals and Diego - he crawled under the quilt with me but he couldn't fall back to sleep. Rob came down to leave for work around 10 to 7AM and I turned cartoons on for Nick. I fixed him breakfast and then went to wake up Ellie. We packed Ellie's bag for school and a snack and then she was off to the bus stop.
I packed my bag for chemo with some snacks and a magazine and my pillow and blanket. Nick and I drove to Mom's house and took Nick's bag in. I got the dollhouse out for him and he went fast to work playing - asking me if I could leave now. I headed over to Kellogg and checked in - I saw Margaret on my way in and she asked how things went last week and I told her about the trouble accessing my port. I went up to the infusion center and Lori accessed my port and drew my blood - she said she had a nice room for me today - a suite. I had a nice comfy bed and my own private washroom.
I had a couple minutes until Margaret found me and took me back for my Dr. Marsh visit. Margaret greeted me with the news that the CT scan last week was clear and printed me out the report. We went through all the side effects and symptoms from last infusion. I had my hand slapped a bit because i didn't call or email her or Dr. Marsh with the chest pain I had. Dr. Marsh came in and discussed my scan a bit more and how he was really quite happy with how it looked. Most importantly, no evidence of disease followed by port-catheter in right vein and ostomy on right side with hernia (so Scarlett has a hernia). Margaret also told me I could have her paged and she could always access my port, if needed.
Dr. Marsh did his exam which always calms me because he starts with a sort of massage of my neck - I know its not a massage but it feels good. I asked about Plum and how it really seems the 3 bumps are far more prominent that they have ever been and because the needle was already in he couldn't get a real good look but felt the opposite side of chest and told me there really isn't any fat to absorb the bumps so they will stick out. I was then told that as long as Plum stays under my skin I am ok - seriously, Plum could pop out apparently. My counts were all good and I could have my 5th infusion!
I went to find Lori to start everything up and sat in the comfy bed waiting. I posted onto facebook my wonderful news but it got me thinking - I have this mighty tough chick attitude and really works for me most of the time, however, I was nervous, anxious and fearful about hearing the results today. I started thinking about every detail about the scan (not just today but over the past few days). The technician when walking me out said he was so sorry I was having to go through this and how I was so young - did he see something on the computer? When the contrast was injected it immediately heated up my lower body (it is supposed to) but could that mean it was finding something?My butt hurts as much now as it did when I went through radiation - hurts when the door slams against it or Nick runs into it - is this a sign? Ahhh, I am very relieved with the results but know I have another 5 years of this worry.
Lori hung my pre-meds and my anti-nausea meds - I ate some veggie chips. I read through the magazine selection before deciding to get my blanket out and when my 2 hour bags got hung I knocked out. It was odd being in a hospital bed again - I usually have a recliner but with a bed i was able to get really comfy. The room was pretty quiet and the only way it could have been better was to have some sunlight coming through the huge windows instead of gray skies.
Lori hooked up my pump and I was on my way - I stopped by the pharmacy to refill my anti-nausea meds and the lidocaine cream - I have to say that makes a world of difference in the access of my port - no pain today.
The tinglies began as soon as I reached the air lock between the center and outside and didn't stop until I caressed a mug of hot tea at Mom's. Nick was eating lunch when I arrived and they had made cinnamon rolls. Mom and I sat and talked for a bit over lunch - stuffed shells and garlic bread. I did end up passing out on the couch for about 30 minutes before I needed to pick up Ellie.
When we got home I took Ellie aside and shared my great news and I don't think she really understood what I was saying because she insisted that I shouldn't have to go through the remaining chemo if I was all better. The kids went to play in the basement and I crashed on the couch - I heard rob come home and knew I could totally give way to the sleep bug - I woke up at 6PM. This is the problem with infusion days - I am sleepy during the day and it comes to be 11PM and I am wired and cannot sit still - ahh, pre-meds.
We had dinner and Ellie was a huge help because there was no way I could dig through the fridge or cut up stuff from the fridge. Rob gave Nick a bath while I kept Ellie company in our role reversal. She used her chef knife and cut the cucumber up and seasoned it and fixed a plate of berries up and then got dinner in and out of the oven for me - all the better, she set the table for me.
We had a nice dinner together and I think everyone was pretty hungry because it was quiet during dinner. We went upstairs and that is when all hell broke lose. I got up the stairs and noticed the bathroom door was shut - Ellie was in her room and Rob was in ours. I got the sheets and blankets straightened out our bed and then went to see what was happening in the bathroom - Nick was supposed to be brushing his teeth. Instead, he had his sleeve pulled open in his PJs and was filling his sleeve with water from the spout. The entire bathroom floor was wet, Nick was saturated - PJs, t-shirt - all needed to be taken off and replaced. Once naked he refused to get dressed again and was running all over the upstairs. I finally got new PJs on him and he wouldn't get into his bed, then he wouldn't stop revving (his imitation of Lightening McQueen), then he took all his covers off and tried to get out of bed again. I was so frustrated.
Tinglies have really been the only side effect thus far, ironically, my teeth have stopped hurting. About an hour ago I got a real bad stomach ache and pulled the garbage can next to the couch but haven't had to use it. I feel like the Katy Perry song right now, "I'm hot then I'm cold, I'm yes then I'm no..." Just when I think I am comfortable something starts to bother me. Hoping for another good cycle - visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

The end of the 3 day weekend

Rob and I had a lovely time last night sans kids watching tv and enjoying the silence. I went up to bed around 1:30AM and was able to sleep in until 8:30AM. We had our morning coffee and then I called over to Mom's to see how the overnight was. The kids (of course) didn't want me to pick them up - they had plans for the morning. I got dressed and went over and Rob stayed here. The kids were playing with the dollhouse when I got there and continued to do so as Mom and I talked.
We did eventually clean up and depart with the carrot dangle of decorating for Valentine's Day. Thanks to Mom and Dad for the overnight! We called Rob from the car to tell him just to come out when we got home. We did a quickie through Salvation (clothes were 50% off today) but there were way too many people there to stay and shop. We went to Whole Foods and picked up a snack and dinner - pie size chicken pot pies were on sale. The kids were delighted to sample their way around the store and I have to tell you we didn't run into one bad sample today.
The kids had gelato and Rob and I enjoyed a cup of coffee in the cafe and then we were on our way to Costco. We picked up some fruit for the week, some oxi-clean for the laundry and some batteries for the dead Valentine singing decorations. We came home after Costco but saw a ginormous hawk on the way. We un-loaded the car and put our groceries away and then moved onto decorating. Nick put out the plush and singing animals and Ellie hung the conversation hearts. I strung the lights and the garland and then the living room didn't look so empty anymore.
The kids went downstairs to play - Ellie with the dollhouse and Nick with legos. Rob went to play in the garage for a bit - I think he was nuts because it was pretty cold today. Rob came in and Ellie helped him clean the workshop downstairs while Nick and I built some houses for tow-mater and lightening out of legos. I started dinner warming up and cleared the table off while Ellie did webkinz for a while.
The chicken pot pie was great - nice crust and veggie mix and warm. I escaped for a shower while Rob and the kids watched a bit of tv. Ellie and read a couple chapters in Sarah Plain and Tall and then it was early to bed night - the kids had a couple late nights. Nick pretty much went right to bed and Ellie followed close behind. It is cold in our house and the gutter it dripping and making an annoying drum noise right outside the family room door.
I think Rob is on the path of another cold - he is sniffling and coughing and it just isn't pretty - hope he is the only one. I have my appointment tomorrow with Dr. Marsh to find the results of the CT scan and to hopefully be infused - on the other side of the 50% mark now. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Super Sunday

I went up to bed early, by my standards, around 1AM. Ellie was up first around 7AM and Nick not too soon after. We had breakfast with Julie before she had to leave us to visit her brother. The kids asked if Julie could come back and watch them when Rob and I need to go out - I wish we were that close. Julie left us and we read the newspaper and the kids did some artwork.
Rob called and invited Uncle Bill to come and watch "da game" over at our house - he took us up on the offer. The boys watched the game and I played on the computer for a bit and then Nick wanted to read some books. We were all in the back room together - it was nice. Ellie called Mom to find out if the offer to spend the night at their house was still on the table - it was. The kids ran to get their suitcases and pack their bags up - so exciting.
The kids and I went over to Mom and Dad's house early to help out and to change Scarlett. I helped Mom in the kitchen for a bit and then we changed Scarlett - she is happy again. We were celebrating Uncle Bill's Birthday today and being 1/2 done with chemo. A stellar menu, as usual. Lasagna, meatballs, sausage, fruit salad, regular salad and broccoli with cannoli and brownies for dessert. The kids kept us entertained like they normally do.
The GGs left and we went into the living room to visit. Rob and I left a bit before 6PM - the kids wanted their overnight and I was getting sleepy. Mom passed along their old quilt to replace the one I have been using - theirs was heavier and warmer - we put it to use tonight. Rob tried out the snuggie he got for Christmas and I am still laughing - it is a superman snuggie and looks like he is superman wearing it - fun-ny. We watched the Golden Globes and flipped back and forth from Desperate and B&S - good laughs - love Ricky Gervais.
As usual, it is day 12 post infusion and I am beginning to really feel better - I guess that is good that I get to feel better before I have to go in again but sucks it takes 12 days to happen and only 2 days to enjoy it. Ellie is off school tomorrow - Nick is off all week - what to do, what to do? I think we will decorate for Valentines Day tomorrow - something they have been asking about. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Playdate Saturday

Nick came to bring me up to bed around 1AM - still don't know how he manages the stairs in a dazy sleep. The kids were up early - Rob has been promising Nick a "present" all week and Nick woke up this morning and wanted to know if his "present" had arrived yet. I slept in a bit and came down and rob had poured me a bowl of coffee. We had a lazy morning - the kids played, Rob and I got some talk time in and I put away laundry.
The stinky kids took baths - the stinky adults took showers and then we discussed plans for the day. My girlfriend, Julie, was coming into town for the weekend and was spending the day/evening with us so Rob was on Dad duty. The kids really wanted to go mini-golfing which isn't a readily available thing in Chicagoland during the winter months. We called around - the one in Golf Mill had closed, the one in Lincolnshire had relocated to Hoffman Estates. We tried bowling but we called 3 different places and they were booked through 10PM with leagues. We found a glow in the dark place in Norridge that didn't have a wait time and Rob and the kids were on their way.
Julie arrived a bit earlier than she thought - her drive went smoothly. We caught each other up over a couple mugs of tea. Rob sent me a picture of Nick on a roller coaster - after mini-golf he took the kiddos to Go Bananas - kind of like Chuck E Cheese. Julie and I were having some appetizers when the gang got home and they were so happy to see Julie. Nick actually invited her to sleep in his bed - he has a Thomas toddler bed that uses the crib mattress - could be nice and snuggly. We all visited for a bit and the kids showed off their toys and tricks and then Jules and I went to dinner.
We had the best waiter who made us continually laugh. I have sangria thinking it would be better than a margarita but it came on ice too - I took tiny sips and let it warm up in my mouth before swallowing and the cold wasn't so bad then. There are some things that are ruined after this evening but you know whatever happens while you are with your life long friend stays with that life long friend...
We finished dinner and talked for a bit but the line of people waiting for tables was growing so we got out of there. We stopped by Dominicks for some bagels and milk - Mom and Dad had dropped a chocolate coffee cake by earlier. We came home and the kids were still awake - in their PJs but awake. They entertained us for a bit but then went to watch a movie while J, Rob and I laughed and talked. I got the kids to bed and came down to find the football game on - I think this could be bad news for the Bears but I know nada about football.
Rob and Jules were both tired and called it a night and I am here listening to SNL and blogging. Great day with Jules - laughter is the very best therapy and trust me we have years of memories than conjure up wonderful laughs. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Ahhh, it's Friday

Had the best laughs watching Conan last night - too funny. Had an average nights sleep - the kids were up before me and I was tired this morning. I got up all dressed, making sure I avoided any metal on my clothing for my scan. We all had breakfast and I got to drink my prep with 20 ounces of tea. Ellie got off to the bus stop and we packed up a couple things for Nick to take to Mom's. I visited with Mom for a little bit before I was on my way off to the hospital for my scan.
I sadly know the drill and went to wait to be called back to the room. The tech, Dan, had me get on the table and I told him I had a power port and he sort of rolled his eyes. He said that was fine but he would have to page a nurse and that would mean a wait. Funny, one of the marketing points of this power point is that it can be used for ct scans. I am not an easy stick for IVs and chemo for the past 3 months probably hasn't helped that situation - so page the nurse. Dan and another tech kept coming in and apologizing for the wait, they covered me with a sheet and blanket and I just was on the table looking at the ceiling (by the way, there were 72 ceiling tiles and 8 lights). Dan came back in and I asked him if the actual procedure is any different with a port and he pulled down the collar on his shirt to show me his port and said no and then explained after the port was accessed they would still use the injector for the contrast and what ever other poison they inject. Finally, the other tech came in and informed me that IR and ER have no nurses available but he had talked to Kellogg and I could go over there are they could access my port and then I would come back for my scan.
The tech walked me over to Kellogg and Colleen accessed my port - I totally forgot to lidocaine up and I did feel the needle go in but it wasn't terrible. I walked back to radiology and Dan came to get me for the scan. Same old scan, breathe in, hold breath, breathe. I won't know results until my appointment on Tuesday - frustrating. I got my bottle of water - which thankfully, are not refrigerated and walked back over to Colleen to be disconnected. There was a conversation about if my port needed to be flushed with heparin or not - I sort of understand the confusion after all they don't normally do the port access for ct scans but shouldn't that be an in-service sometime?
I had got a call from Uncle Mike while I was getting my scan so I called him back on my way to the car. Our dinner with Tara needed to be postponed for another night. I called Mom to ask if I could pick up lunch on my way - I was hungry. I was able to get a spot right across from Foodstuffs and picked up sandwiches for Mom and me and some veggie chips and an after school treat for the kids. I somehow managed to eat my whole sandwich -delicious and garlicy. I watched the last part of Cars with Nick and then I was overwhelmed with sleepiness. I grabbed Nick and fell asleep on the couch for 45 minutes or so.
Nick and I packed up and came home to get Ellie. I gave the kids their treats - chocolate snowmen - they really liked them. The kids played with the dollhouse furniture and trains and then Ellie tried out her friendship bracelet maker. We made plan B plans with Jo to meet at Cici's Pizza for dinner - I knew the kids would be disappointed that we weren't able to see Tara tonight. We met Jo and Tony there and I think Ellie and Tony might have out ate the rest of us. Nick ate green peppers and carrots from the salad bar and cinnamon rolls - he refused to eat pizza or noodles.
We said good night to Jo and T and we headed back home. Nick made himself into a turtle - pulling his hat down over his eyes and his scarf up and Ellie kept saying he was fake sleeping but he turned out to really be dead asleep when we got home. I carried him in and decided he was just going to sleep in his clothes and carried him up to bed. Ellie stayed up and finished her bracelet and then I took her up to bed. Rob just got home from the basketball game he was taping tonight.
I took the band-aid off Plum and this was the first time she had bled after disconnect and she is in a tiny bit of pain. I don't know if it was the lack of lidocaine, the different needle (that looked identical to me but was labeled power port ct needle), the quick time it was placed and then disconnected - I don't know just know she isn't too happy. Teeth are down to dull pain today and my hands were fine until I decided to drive without my gloves on. So excited for tomorrow - Julie is driving up for a play date - can I call it a play date when we are in our mid 30s? Even better - I think it is going to be a sleepover play date. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

A good day

I actually went up to bed when I was tired last night - just after midnight. Sleep was pretty good last night. Usual morning except we changed the breakfast routine up and the kids both had oatmeal this morning (found it yesterday while cleaning out the kitchen cabinet). Ellie got off to the bus and I took Nick to school. It felt like a good thrifting day so I went to Salvation - score!
I went through clothing and found nothing great, however, toys were great today. Not that we need anything after Christmas but I found this huge bag of wooden dollhouse furniture and people for $2.00 - I am hoping this stops Nick from stealing Ellie's dollhouse furniture. I found new in package knitting loop forms - I don't knit but I figure this might just be a good time to try - Cancer Wellness offers knitting groups. I got another huge bag of chunky rubber stamps which Ellie and I use for patterning in pottery. The big score when out of the corner of my eye I saw a baby doll with "AG" on its t-shirt. I pulled it from the shelf and flipped it around and sure enough the back of the neck was "Pleasant Company" - for those who don't know the score quality of this - this was an American Girl Bitty Baby boy doll - price $2.06. Finishing up the thrifting finds were a pint glass (seem to break on a regular basis here) and a pair of brikenstock clogs - looked new. Best $10.00 I have spent in a while!
I tried my luck at another fave thrift store but my scoring had ceased to follow. I ran into Old Navy to look what they had on clearance but found nothing either. I went and picked Nick up - he was thrilled with his Bitty Baby, known now as Diego. He loves that he has a baby like Ellie's that has eyes that open and shut and he can sleep or be awake. The one thing that bothered him instantly was that Diego only had a t-shirt on. I told Nick we would look for some clothes for Diego at home.
We went to Mom's to play with Tony and have lunch. The boys kept us laughing today. Tony has a stuffy nose and I think his hearing might be off so Nick would say something to him and he would hear something else and it was a continual source of laughter. Nick told T something was in the kitchen and T said - I'm not the kitchen, Nicky, I am Tony. Mom helped me with a Scarlett change - she is much happier today. Tony was with us when we did the change out and he calls her Sca-lott. He was cracking us up because then he called her a fuchi (sp) donut - basically a icky, gross donut.
We had Mary Poppins on and that was entertaining Nick and then the boys both started dancing to Supercal... too funny. Nick and I said or goodbyes and went to pick Ellie up at the bus stop. We came home and Ellie did her homework and Nick explored his new dollhouse furniture which he proudly announced we could paint. I found Diego some baby clothing from the bins in the basement. Rob got home from work and we talked for a bit before deciding we should probably eat something before heading to Cancer Wellness for our family meeting. I made a tray of nachos - half with cheese and half without (Nick doesn't care for cheese). We all ate our nachos and told Rob about our new treasures and then we got bundled and headed up to CWC (Cancer Wellness Center).
We met with a very lovely man who instantly put me into a zen place - he just exudes calm. While Rob and I did some paperwork he took Ellie and Nick on a tour and talked with them. We all went into his office and we had a very productive family meeting. We have a bunch of options available to us for support - individually, couples, family - ironically, there is no colo-rectal cancer support group. He said they have tried to start one a few times and they don't really fly - duh, no one wants to sit around and discuss their butts.
We had a very great, open conversation on the way home with Ellie asking some questions she has never asked and it was just free-ing. We talked about how we don't know what caused my cancer and how that is frustrating. We discussed what guided imagery is and we used it to take us to Disney World on the way home with everyone adding to the image. We got home and got the kiddos to bed. I am sitting here smiling and blogging - today was good. It was refreshing to hear that Ellie's current thought is everything is going to be ok.
Still have the finger tinglies and the annoying teeth issue. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Wow Wednesday

I had a glass of wine last night and that was all I needed to pass out on the couch. I woke up far too late and went up to bed. Usual morning round here - got dressed and fixed breakfast. Ellie went to the bus stop and I watched as all the kids tried (unsuccessfully) to have a snowball fight - the snow wasn't good packing snow.
I called Christi and we both free after we dropped the kids off at preschool and made plans to meet to do some shopping. Nick was off to preschool - he is loving it this week, the theme is Disney. I met Christi at Big Lots and we shopped and talked and found such great things there today. We had time to stop in at Home Goods before having to pick up the kids. It was great to get a visit in while shopping and a bonus to have it un-interrupted by kids.
I picked Nick up and he asked if we could go and visit Mom - so we did. The sun porch was nice and warm today with the sun shining so bright. I read the paper and Nick played - around 1PM I announced it would be a great time to cuddle up on the couch and take a nap. We helped Mom take down the last Christmas decorations and went in to have lunch. I took myself up on the nap and fell asleep on the couch while Mom and Nick made dessert for tonight.
Nick and I came home just in time to get Ellie from the bus and then we made a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner. When we got home Ellie did her homework and Nick played and then we all organized the storage cart in the kitchen. It was great - Nick used granola bars to count and Ellie decided which things should go in which containers. It looks beautiful. I started dinner going - turkey, mac and cheese, broccoli, a salad and fruit. It was yummy.
Dean came over for dinner and we did a late Christmas celebration. Mom and Tony came a bit after Dean arrived and dad got here a bit later. We had a nice dinner together and dessert was good, too. The kids got to play for a bit and show off their favorite things. We said our good nights and we got ready for bed. I now sit on the couch and blog with my mug of tea and the news on in the background.
Teeth are still annoying today and it comes and goes but definitely no cold food or drink yet. My hands only bothered me when I was outside for more than a minute or two. My veins in my hands look very visible to me lately - not sure what that is all about but I don't think I like it. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Soup, bread and brownies

so, I neglected to take my ativan last night and it became apparent at around 12:30AM when I was still not sleepy and could not get the thoughts to stop flowing. I took my dose at 12:30AM but it took until about 2AM to be able to think about going up to bed. OK night of sleep - Nick and I got up this morning when the alarm went off but I left Ellie sleeping. I decided if she woke up before 8AM she would go to school but if she slept any later I would keep her home. At 8:10AM Ellie came running down the stairs worried about begin late for school - I told her she wasn't going. Ellie doesn't really like "sick" days - she feels like she is missing something at school and really dislikes relaxing.
I got Nick ready for school and Ellie and I drove him - didn't realize the snow was already so deep. We dropped Nick off and came home - I did some laundry, we watched some tv, Ellie played on the computer for a bit. Soon enough, it was time to pick up Nick from school - Ellie joined me for the ride. Nick came running out with his art - a glitter snow globe and a backpack filled with glittery art - I hate glitter. We came home and I gave shoveling a second shot - I did a quick shovel after we came home from taking Nick but it was in need again when we came home. The second shoveling killed my hands - I probably shouldn't have done it in the first place but I felt like I could tackle it.
I told Ellie we would bake some bread and I would make chicken noodle soup - so I got started. I put in a batch of brownies, too. Nick had ham for lunch with some fruit and joined us in a slice of hot bread. Ellie and I had a bowl of soup and then I made the stupid mistake of eating watermelon from the fridge - immediately sent my entire mouth into pain. It is the pain you get when you put your teeth into ice cream or something else cold by mistake - its an ache and then a burn - well it seems to be quasi permanent since the watermelon this afternoon.
I set up a hot shower for Ellie so she could try to see if steam would help her out. Nick and I sat in the bathroom at then end and enjoyed the steam. We dried Ellie's hair and went over to Mom's - I needed a Scarlett change. The kids were occupied so Mom and I changed Scarlett - still very red and raw. I made an extra pot of soup and brought it to Mom's (both her and Dad have the beginnings of the cold). We stayed for a little while but go going a bit after 4PM.
We got home just as Rob was getting home - good timing - he did the 3rd shoveling. It was shower/bath night and laundry night. I re-heated the soup for dinner with some chicken and fruit and brownies for dessert. We got the kids ready for bed and put them to sleep. I have a vapor plug in Ellie's room right now and it has the brightest night light ever in it - I put electric tape over it and it is still bright. I went in to say goodnight to Ellie and she is making hand puppets on the wall by the light - took her a bit to fall asleep tonight.
It was a great day minus the crazy teeth and tinglie cold hands. Hoping Ellie wakes up feeling better - she had big red marks around her nose from blowing it so frequently and her lips are majorly chapped. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me -whomever that shall be, Tree

Productive Monday

Rob went up to bed early and I didn't. Had an ok night of sleep - both of the kids were up early this morning. We all got dressed and went down for breakfast. Ellie and I got her lunch and snack ready for school and her back pack packed. I bundled her up and off to the bus stop she went. Nick had a couple bowls of cereal and a yogurt and went straight to work playing.
Mom called and we had no plans for the day - I threw out the idea of cleaning out her linen closet which she insisted she didn't want to do today. Nick packed his "man bag" and we were off to Mom's house. I convinced her to tackle the bottom of her linen closet - I don't know about 5 years ago Jo and Ole and Rob and I measured Mom and Dad's hallway closets and got them Elfa closet organizers for Christmas. About 2 years ago we got the coat closet cleaned out and painted and the Elfa installed and they really do create instant storage. I tried to help with the linen closet last summer and we got about a shelf done but today - we got the entire closet cleaned out and ended with enough space to store additional items.
Nick was such a good boy while we cleaned and organized - he watched Stuart Little and loved it. It was time to pick up Ellie from the bus but Nick didn't want to leave - Mom offered to keep Nick and I could pick him up later - Nick stayed. I got Ellie off the bus and she did her homework before watching some tv with me. I signed Ellie and I up for Family Clay - a pottery class we have taken together in the past and we really enjoy together and tonight was the first class.
Rob came home from work and we made an early dinner - Ellie kept looking at the clock to see how much longer until class time. I got a call from Cancer Wellness and we have an appointment later this week. Finally, it was time to leave for class and Ellie was so excited.
We had a great time in class - it was great to spend one on one time with Ellie, it was great to put my hands to use and it was great to be creative - normal! The teacher, Kathy, taught me when I was Ellie's age and I always enjoy seeing her. We made pinch pots and houses tonight - thinking ahead at what we should create next week. We picked Nick up from Mom's house - he had a great time with Mom for his one on one time. He was making quick work of some baked veggie chips. We came home and Nick had some dinner - I fear that Ellie has finally succummed to the dreaded cold. We did vitamins and I sent Ellie up to bed with a clementine. Nick and I had a real nice talk before he went to bed about his birthday - still months away - but his wheels are turning already.
Not sure what tomorrow holds - Nick has school but I will have to see how Ellie is feeling in the morning to see if she is going to school or not. Overall, a much better side effect day - although, sitting on the little wooden stool cleaning the closet did not feel so good on the butt. My fingers have come and go tinglies. My canker sores miraculously healed overnight. No more aches and joint pain. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Slow Sunday

I had just finished watching SNL and was flipping through the channels when I heard the gate upstairs lift and the subsequent footsteps on the stairs. I met Nick at the bottom and went up to bed - I have to give it to him because he manages the stairs very well in the dark. The kids were up super duper early. I bought "the best cinnamon bread" at the market last night and toasted that up for breakfast and it was pretty darn good. Rob and Ellie went to church while Nick and I stayed home.
Nick and I played with legos for hours and then Rob came home sans Ellie (dropped her off at Mom and Dad's) and he played with Nick for another couple hours. We had re-heats for lunch and then I found a spot of sunlight coming into the back room and fell asleep right in it. I woke up and the boys were still playing legos downstairs. I finally persuaded Nick into getting dressed - he has been in PJs all day with his Lightening McQueen jacket over them.
I did some "operating" on Percy the train to remove all my hair that had built up in the wheels and made it no longer run. We packed up some fruit for dinner and went over to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Ellie had a good day with them - she had bags of groceries to bring home - she had convinced Mom to buy her faves while grocery shopping. Mom had made a Thanksgiving-esque dinner -turkey, sweet potatoes, green beans, apples and we bought watermelon and pineapple - I know there was more but I cannot think of it now.
Ellie had chosen dessert while they were grocery shopping and had quite a selection for us to chose from. The boys opted for their chocolate lollipops and mint oreos but there was an apple caramel pie thingy too. We changed out Scarlett - still quite an un-happy camper. Jo and Ole met Scarlett tonight - Jo has been grossed out by Scarlett since the get go and has never wanted to meet her and Ole was just walking from the porch to the living room and met her. I know this is the oddest thing in the world - come and meet Scarlett but it makes it not so creepy to the kids and she is very much a part of my life.
My solo canker sore has found a friend - ahhh. My aches are feeling better today - no more chest pain and little leg and arm pain. My teeth still are bothering me - perhaps its the knowing I cannot have them cleaned and I am overdue or it is just chemo side effects but they have this numbing pain. My hands are also still tingly and have turned red now - my feet are probably also red but I don't really look at them naked in the winter. I want to send special birthday wishes to Tara - happy 16th! Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Sick Saturday

Regular night here; ok sleep. I awoke to the sound of "the cough" coming from Ellie's room. Nick and Rob went downstairs to play and Ellie tried to get some more sleep but the poor girl kept on vomiting. Ellie and I both got up and went downstairs around 9AM. Nick helped me make some french toast - he sprinkled the cinnamon and helped stir all the ingredients together. We had breakfast - Ellie tried some tea.
It was our day to take Christmas down and I am always amazed at how quickly it all comes down versus being put up. Nick took the ornaments off, Ellie put them in our container and I took care of the garland and lights. It was all down and stored away by 11AM. It was major laundry day here - winter coats needed to be washed, blankets and about 8 loads of clothes. Rob and I put away 4 baskets of laundry while the kids played.
Ellie tried to lay down and nap for a while but couldn't fall asleep. We had some lunch - Ellie was able to keep chicken sausage down - yeah! Rob had to go out for a bit and the kids wanted to play downstairs. I kept the laundry going and did some dishes. Rob brought home some juice and the kids had a surprise for us when he got home. They had each made pictures on the computer and printed them out for us.
Willy Wonka - the original, was on so I put it on for the kids and gave them some popcorn and all was fine until dinner time rolled around and we needed food. I ended up running out to Fresh Farms with Nick - I have to say for 5:45PM it was super crowded but they were super loaded with samples. It is bad to shop with a hungry Nick though - we ended up buying a bunch of things he sampled. We finished shopping and came home and had dinner. It was early to bed night for the sick-o kids.
Somehow - the tinglies have gotten worse. Major finger and foot neurotoxicity today. The one canker sore I seem to get each infusion has made its destination in my throat and makes it feel weird when I eat. The muscles seem to be doing a bit better today - chest pain not so intense and just some mild lower back pain. I have somehow managed to just have a runny/stuffy nose and a mild sore throat through all the germies in our house - knock on wood this will remain the same. Might need to put Valentine's day decorations out tomorrow because the house looks so empty now. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Sleepy day

I made it through whatever I was watching at midnight but passed out on the couch and woke up around 2:30AM to go up to bed. Nick had a much better night than he has been having - the double inhaler dose really helped with his coughing. Ellie and I were up right as the alarm clock was going off but Nick stayed asleep for a bit longer. I was convinced it was going to be a lazy day and only pulled out clothes for Ellie. Nick got up a bit before Ellie left and then he and I had a major cuddle session on the couch this morning.
I talked to Mom around noon and she said she would come over here so I didn't have to go out in the cold. I still had the chest pain today and my upper arms and legs started feeling pretty achy too. Mom came over a bit after 1PM - we changed out an un-happy Scarlett and just had more time on the couch.
I've been able to pretty lazy this week and just peek my head out the door instead of walking down to the bus stop to get Ellie - it has been too cold. We all cuddled up on the couch - I ended up falling asleep and staying asleep until dinner time. I don't even know if I heard Rob come home or Mom leave. Ellie and I went to pick up dinner - I wanted soup and Ellie did too. We came back home and ate together - we did vitamins, medicine and inhalers and got the kids to bed - Nick can't go to bed with the double dose like he normally does. It revs his heart up and the boy just needs to move - my mistake to do it right before bed tonight.
I am looking forward to a lazy weekend - no real plans other than to take down Christmas. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree