Just the Boost left!

Note: If this post reads weird its because it keeps not saving it all I have had to re-type it a few times.
My girlfriend, Lee and I got to catch up last night - we have been playing phone tag for over a week. Nice to talk and catch up. Rob and I watched some tv and Rob went up early - I met him up after the news. Everyone actually slept in this morning - Rob woke up to his alarm, Ellie didn't come in until 8 AM - Nick and I woke up around the same time. We went downstairs and got ready, breakfast, lunch packed and sunscreen on. It was a cooler day - I loved it - however, it was pool day at camp. Nick was a bit of a basket case this morning - her only wanted to wear boots - didn't matter which boots - rain boots, too big Toy Story boots or winter boots - just wanted to wear boots - I wouldn't give in. This led to a bit of yelling and shoes being forced onto feet.

We dropped Ellie off and were on our way to Mom's. We got some snacks and were on our way to the hospital. I was taken in right after I checked in and treatment went very quickly. It was doctor day - so I got to see Dr. Nanda for the last time. He asked me how the nausea has been - I told him it was pretty much gone. He asked about pain - I told him about feeling like my cheeks are being pulled or cut apart - something he needed to look at. Once again, he told me my butt was looking great - sadly not a thought I share with him. There still is no skin breakdown or even signs of burning or tearing. He told me he could give me a script for pain but I said at this point I would just go with advil. It was bittersweet, my visit with Dr. Nanda, I really like him a bunch and I am sad that I won't get my once a week visit but I am happy to be moving on. Just three treatments left - all the boost.
Mom and the boys picked me up and we went back to Mom's. I was not all about food today - just wasn't very hungry but that never stops Mom from trying to feed me. Mom made lunch for the boys and then they had some nice playtime with legos before we tried an afternoon movie. We put in Mary Poppins and Tony knocked out, Mom and I got to put our feet up and Nick munched popcorn while trying to find a comfortable position on top of me. Nick and I went to get Ellie from camp - she had a good day. We were surprised when we returned home because Rob's car was in front along with the kids bikes. Rob had come home early and straightened up the house a bit and was ready to play with Ellie and Nick. The neighbors came out shortly after and hi-jacked the kids but fun is fun. I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep.
Mom came over and Dad picked up Chicken Inn (family fav) on his way here. We had a nice dinner together and then the kids got time to play/read with Grams and Gramps. I went up to take a bath - I never really was aware at how red my hands had become until they were next to my pasty white skin - they are cherry red now. I wore gym shoes today and that really made walking bearable -I am thinking about mittens for my hands - how silly might that look in the summer? Mom and Dad left and Rob and I tried to get the kids to sleep but it proved to be quite difficult because A) we put our kids to sleep before 8 PM and B) the neighbors had about a dozen kids in their yard yelling and giggling on their trampoline.
I am excited that I am almost at the end but scared for the next chapter - I have never had surgery - closest to that was getting my wisdom teeth out. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

1 More week

Rob I finished watching It's Complicated last night - funny movie we do suggest for your netflix list. Rob went up when the movie finished I stayed downstairs for a while longer. I have found even with ativan it is taking me longer to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. For a change - Nick stayed asleep all night and it was Ellie who crawled into bed with me at 7:15 AM. Ellie and Nick went downstairs to start breakfast while I took a shower. Ellie had a field trip to Pump It Up today (a warehouse that has lots of inflatable jumpers, slides and obstacle courses). We dropped Ellie at camp and headed to Mom's. We headed to the hospital for my appointment. I was called in promptly but then promptly told they squeezed someone else into my 10:15 AM appointment and it would be a couple minutes. They came and got me about 10 minutes later and I took the walk into the treatment room - I feel slower each day. Just a treatment day so a pretty quick appointment. I must look like I need to eat because they wanted to share their chocolate chip cookies with me today. Mom and Nick came around to get me and then we went to Big Lots. We picked up a couple things for the weekend and then I told Mom I wasn't feeling too good and we decided to head home. It was Nick's eating day so he was in constant search for food - opposite of me. I tried to take a nap but really can't get comfortable - when on my back the base of my spine hurts and so do the back of my heels. On my sides either the left or right radiated spots burn and my knees don't feel right together and then where ever my hands are they fall asleep. Nonetheless, I relaxed on the couch for a couple hours. Nick and Mom made "Mommy cakes" long story short it is from some older movie Joan Cusack was in where she made "Beth Cakes" - cupcakes to tempt me to eat - today's choice - apple cinnamon. I had a cupcake when I woke up - very good.
Nick had a breakdown while leaving Mom's today - I think he is still trying to get over some illness - not himself. We picked up Ellie at camp - she was so happy about her field trip. I realized walking into the house my feet were very uncomfortable - propping them on the couch I could see there is a visible red layer on my feet now. Ellie is off at her park play date with her girl fiend, Catherine. Nick is now asleep and will hopefully stay that way. I took a bath to see if soaking my feet helps any and it did seem to - I used a mint foot rub and it felt good while I was messaging it on. I rubbed them in and applied a thick coat of lotion and put on the diabetic socks Mom bought me. It is amazing the products that are now in my household - people coming might think an elderly person lives here. I would be lying if I said this treatment thing isn't catching up to me - I feel old, tried, I am weepy (hormones). 1 more week - only 7 more days of xeloda - 42 more pills. Only 4 more radiation treatments - It was awesome to see my appointment online today - when initially scheduled they took up 2 pages and now they take about about 2". I've been alternating my pins - the "Chemo Sucks" and the "One Tough Chick" and although people look at them the only person to comment on either one was a barista at Starbucks who looked at my pin and said does that say chemo sucks? I said yes, and he said he was sure it does.
Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

5 More but who is counting?

Rob and I ended up watching part of a movie last night - we made it about 1/2 way through before deciding to go up to bed. Nick had his usual post-Michigan bed confusion. He wakes up and is confused about where he is and why he is in his own bed - long night. Ellie and Nick were up early and headed down to start breakfast while I got clothes ready. We got Ellie off to camp and then got to Mom's.
We headed off to the hospital for my treatment - only 5 more to go after today - unfortunately 3 of those are the boost. My understanding of the boost is that the radiation beam that is normally let's say 1" in diameter gets tightened to let's say 1 cm. Not sure on the whole measurement thing - that is why they employ physicists and doctors - I just know the last 3 won't necessarily be pleasant. I noticed today after treatment that it was almost as if I have something growing off the base of my spine - very uncomfortable to sit down in certain chairs or positions.
We headed back to Mom's house and I felt as if I could have fell asleep immediately. Mom bought some new movies so we watched the Gnome Mobile today - haven't heard of it? It is from the same era as Mary Poppins and has the kids who played Jane and Michael Banks in it. Must have been a hit because Nick was singing the theme song this evening. We had some lunch and then I took a nap -I was hopeful Nick would nap also but no luck instead he pretend snored.
We picked Ellie up from camp and came home for a snack before doing pickup for pottery. Nick I came home and played for a bit before Ellie was dropped off. Christi and the kids stayed for a while and played in the year - nice to visit and catch up. Ellie was invited to join them tomorrow night for a play date. Nick got to swing on the double swing with his girlfriend, Su'nana - I wish I had a camera it was a too cute moment.
I headed in to take my anti-nausea so I could eat dinner and Rob's co-worked, Deb stopped by while she was out bike riding - had a quick visit before starting dinner. The kids came in for a bath while I finished up dinner and we sort of ate and then had bedtime - late night. I am feeling sort of nauseous currently - I ate before my one hour waiting time. My spine really hurts - throbby pain but also feels burned. Finally, neuropathy/red hand/feet pain. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Weekend update

We got on the road for Michigan around 4:30 PM on Friday - we knew we were going to hit some traffic but really were not prepared for the 4 hour trip. We ran into traffic in every state. Nick was pretty nasal congested when I picked him up at Mom's - he unfortunately picked up a cold. He fell asleep on our ride up - we got to Michigan just before 10:00 PM. We let the kids visit with Rob's Mom (Nana) for a bit before we started bedtime. The good news was besides being tired from a day without a nap or rest and my butt throbbing from 4 hours on it - the abdominal pain seems to have gone away.
The weather was not what was predicted - I thought for sure we would be inside the entire weekend and it was gorgeous and sunny. Saturday I slept in for a bit while the kids played with Rob and Nana. Rob and I got the air conditioner in the 1st floor window - huge news for the lady with cancer who lives on the couch! Rob took Ellie and Nick down to the beach while I went to Walmart to pick up some things we needed - muscles cream, laundry detergent, lip balm - essential things. I pulled through Wendy's and picked up frostys for the crew. Rob and the kids had almost perfect timing and were not too far behind me pulling in. We ate lunch and then Ellie and Rob went back to the beach. Nick played with me for a bit and then we got chilly hands/feet from the ac being on and I pulled him up to cuddle with a blanket and he actually feel asleep and took a 3 hour nap. Rob and Ellie came back from the beach and showered and went to town to rent some movies and do some shopping at the dollar store. The major purchase for the weekend - faux cellphones - too funny. After our nap I decided I didn't really want to cook - I wasn't feeling like cooking so Ellie and I ran to the grocery store and picked up a rotisserie chicken, a loaf of bread and some pasta - I opted for some chicken noodle soup. After dinner Rob took Ellie and Nick down to the soda bar for ice cream. We watched one of their videos and just chilled out. I found out that the abdominal pain was probably my very unhappy ovaries and uterus - radiation and chemo apparently didn't stop my periods. Nick didn't want to sleep - who can blame him with a 3 hour nap? Rob put in our video - the world's worst movie ever - as soon as Nick knocked out I decided to go up to bed as well.
Today Nick and I slept in. We had breakfast and then Rob took the kids to the beach for a quick romp while I ran the videos back to town. Ellie and Nana had time for a quick game of monopoly before we rot on the road. The thunder started early and by the time we got on the road home it was actively raining. The neuropathy is back with vengeance - my feet feel like I am walking on glass and my hands are painful again - not to mention stained glass red. Our trip home was uneventful and a whole bunch quicker than our ride out. We dropped Rob at home and headed to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Mom was working on appetizers - cold veggie pizza. The kids quickly found Gramps and were on their way to the park. Jo and Ole arrived and we put in Annie for some pre-dinner entertainment. We had a nice family dinner together and then it was time to head home for some stinky kids to take a bath. We put the kids to bed and now Rob and I are catching up on computer time and I have my feet up.
Last full week of therapy this week - probably the toughest week though. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Friday and a 2 day break

As I was blogging last night I had killer abdominal pains that just kept getting worse. I eventually was overcome by nausea and ended up vomiting but it wasn't rewarding I just felt blah. I crashed early in hopes that sleep would stop the pain - which it did eventually. Rob even was the one who got up with a Nick nightmare last night. We got up at regular time and I took a shower and got dressed and decided with the nausea I should take my zofran as directed an hour before I eat. Ellie had her field trip to the beach today - very exciting and a great day to be near/in the water. Nick and I dropped Ellie at camp and then headed to Mom's. Dad and Jo joined us for morning club today. They dropped me at the hospital and I was promptly taken in for treatment. I told the techs about my nausea and they made sure I saw Dr. Nanda before leaving. Treatment was slow today because the quality control films were taken - not really a great process when you aren't feeling well. Dr. Nanda told me I could double up on anti-nausea and take both compazine and zofran and to call him immediately if I get a fever - reassuring. I dropped off a prescription at the pharmacy - I know I have been saying I don't want to take another pill but this one is supposed to slow down the muscles in my rectum - since I am not having a diarrhea problem and really just have the muscle spasms - I hope this helps.
We came back home and the boys played for a bit before I took Jo to the hospital for her colonoscopy. We had some good laughs in the waiting room before she went in and then she was called. I was called back about 45 minutes after she went in - excellent sign considering I was back there for a whole bunch longer. Jo was alert and we were discussing the cheesy beef she was craving - then we got the most awesome news from Dr. Elton - Jo has nothing going on in her colon! Then we joked about how it must be because she has a meat and fish diet. It took forever for the nurse to come in and take off her probes and pull her IV - I volunteered my services but Jo insisted she would wait for a "professional" - as if. We finally were cleared and were on our way to Portillo's for her cheesy beef and fries - glad someone has an appetite.
We are back at Mom's now - Mom, Dad and the boys went to pick Ellie up from camp. We are on our way to Michigan for the weekend - so I won't be able to post until Sunday. Hope everyone has a nice weekend, visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Only 7 treatments remain

Regular old night here except I found out the hard way I should not clap my hands together to kill the flying bug - I felt like I might have broken every little bone in my hands. Rob went up slightly before me - I watched the news. Nick had a nightmare about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang around 3:00AM - he went back to bed eventually. We were all up early - had breakfast and got dressed. We got Ellie to the very wet campground for color war day and we headed to Mom's.
Mom and the boys took me to the hospital - I had a Dr. Marsh appointment after radiation - so we knew it would be a longer day. Radiation was fine - got marker touch up and new stickers. I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. I checked in at Kellogg and was told I was going to get blood work done before my appointment - surprise. The tech was pretty good about the rolling veins and it only burned a little bit. I went upstairs and waited for Margaret.
I gained half a pound since last Friday - woohoo! My red hands were confirmed and will most likely get worse. My blood work was processed while I was there and everything looks good. What stinks is that I have these 7 radiation treatments left but 12 more days of chemo because of the weekends. I will see Dr. Marsh again after radiation and chemo are finished. He said about 4 weeks after that I will have a follow up CT scan and possibly another endoscopic ultrasound (and whatever else Dr. Muldoon wants).
Around 11:00AM I was finally through and called Mom for a pick-up. Nick was on an eating day and asked on our way to the hospital if after I was through we could eat lunch - and he wanted a frosty. We went and had lunch and then went back to Mom's. Jo was already there because tomorrow is her colonoscopy (so sorry we share of genes, Jo). We watched Beauty and Beast today and just kicked back and relaxed on the couches. Nick was frustrated with the end of the movie and started crying and throwing pillows at the tv. We went and picked Ellie up from camp and most of the water had dried up. We came home for popsicles and some outdoor time - wasn't so hot today.
Rob worked until 6:00PM we had some dinner and then I got Nick to sleep early while Rob and Ellie did a project downstairs. I currently have killer lower abdominal pain - this time radiation is to blame. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

The 4th week brings red hands

Rob and I watched Chopped but only I made it through the end - Rob went up early I stayed up for the news. Nick woke up around midnight and drank a whole glass of water and promptly went back to sleep until 6:00 AM. He crawled into bed with me and I told him it was much too early and he needed to go back to bed and he did until I had to wake him up at 9:20 AM to get Ellie to camp. Inside camp day because of the huge thunderstorms. Nick and I cruised to Mom's and had a bit of a reprieve this morning because the pushed my appointment back to 10:30 AM. We eventually loaded the boys up into the car - it wasn't raining too hard by then. I was brought in right on time for my appointment and treatment went quickly but it was doctor day and Dr. Nanda was a busy person today. I read a magazine while I waited and he finally came in to see me. We discussed the abdominal pain which he would take responsibility for if its lower but upper I should blame on xeloda. He asked about nausea and vomiting - apparently things I can look forward to. He told me the next 8 treatments are the hardest and most difficult to get through. He asked me about my butt and pain - I told him I did have some pain but its almost like burn pain - and then I heard the words I don't really enjoy hearing - I'm going to need to check it out. Dr. Nanda did check it out and said I actually am looking good - no skin breakdown - I could use something for hemorrhoid pain (except I don't have hemorrhoids it is almost like I have been torn apart or have a bad burn).
I called Mom and she and the boys met me at the entrance and we went back to her house. I propped my feet up while the boys and Mom looked through her jewelry box (Nick wanted to look at her clocks - watches) and played play-doh. We went in for lunch and to start relaxing. We watched Toy Story 2 - Nick cuddled up and Tony fell asleep. Nick and I left to pick up Ellie at camp. We came back to the house and I took a little nap while the kids played together. Around 5:00 PM we started hearing the rolling thunder - Ellie had an allergist appointment at 6:30 PM - no way we were making it there dry. We did a quick pick up of the basement - just in case we got water and made our way through the puddled street to the car. The roads were terrible - Crawford was completely flooded across. We got the doctors office and all the personnel was standing by the entrance (including doctors and nurses) discussing if the sirens had sounded and if everyone should move to the basement. Eventually things kind of got back to normal there - by then they were running 20 minutes late. We saw Dr. Shaefer and discussed how maybe Ellie has the beginning of migraine headaches instead of allergies. Unfortunately, Ellie is too young for medications to treat them. We are to make note of when Ellie has her mucus vomit days and to track the barometric pressure on the day before and of.
We went to Mom's house after the appointment for dinner. The rain let up for our ride and or arrival. We had dinner and had to get going so I could take my medication. Happy Anniversary to Jo and Ole - hard to believe its been 4 years.
My abdominal pain has let up today but has been replace with the constant need to be in the washroom (Dr. Nanda said I can expect this to get get worse in the next 2 weeks). I noticed my hands were turning red today and little blisters seem to be right under the surface - so on week 4 the red hands begin. The neuropathy is about the same today - my hands feel a bit weird probably swollen. I see Dr. Marsh tomorrow - I am sure we will discuss all the above. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Tuesday Two's Day

Bought a new router yesterday - so we are connected to the internet again at home! Typical night here last night, we got the kids to bed and watched some tv. I honestly can't remember but I think we went up to bed early. I know when we went up the storm was brewing.
The kids were up early and we all went downstairs for breakfast. The neuropathy is back with a new degree of pain in my feet. The abdominal pains comes in waves and I now do believe it might be gas pockets. We got Ellie to camp - it should have been a field trip day but because the impending storms (which never happened) it was rescheduled for later this week. Nick and I drove to Mom's and we got loaded into Mom's car. We knew it was going to be that kind of a day when Nick totally had a blow up tantrum getting into his carseat and then Tony had his own about something. The kids have been watching Christmas dvd's in the car for about the past week and its starting to become problematic. Yesterday while grocery shopping Nick wished every person we passed Feliz Navidad - there were whole aisles of people laughing. Today at the library we was wishing people Happy Kwanzaa in song.
My appointments seem drawn out lately - the slot before me isn't permanently filled so they are using it for simulation and they are always running late now. The treatment itself was fine - I am starting to feel them catch up with me because the hard table board is getting quite uncomfortable both laying there and also getting off. I stopped by Kellogg pharmacy to let Katie know how many days to refill my xeloda and zofran - sh said she'd have it ready for me Thursday.
We went back to Mom's where Nick was a pill and Tony was a nut. I had no hunger today but Mom wouldn't let that happen so suddenly a muffin appeared in a crystal bowl with a doilies. I tired to take a nap but the boys were sort of fighting each other for who could be closer to me - so I got to put my feet up. We watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and Mom put in Fantasia (Nick wouldn't leave the living room after the sorcerer scene because he was afraid of the monster in the other room). Nick and I left to pick up Ellie - poor Ellie was outside for camp all day and they didn't do water games to cool them off - we came home and she hydrated and cooled off in the air.
Rob came home and he watched the kids for a while so I could take a late afternoon nap. We decided to hit the library to do our weekly check in for the reading club and to pick up some dinner. We came home and ate and I took a bath. We watched Wipeout - Ellie's favorite summer tv program (I so don't understand this). Rob got Ellie to bed and I got Nick to bed and now we are back to our typical night - each of us typing away on our laptops and watching Americas Got Talent. Two weeks from today I will be finished with the radiation and chemo treatment! Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Early Monday Edition

Still don't have a new router - so this is an early Monday post from Mom's.
My abdominal cramps got terribly bad last night - I took advil, I had the hot pad on my stomach - nothing was working so after Food Network Star I told Rob I was headed up to bed because I know the cramps cease while I sleep. Sure enough I got a good night sleep without cramps. Nick and Ellie were up by 7:30 AM and they went down to eat breakfast while I took a shower and got clothes out for the day. The pain was back -ahhh!
We drove Ellie to camp and went to Mom's. We went for our daily ride to the hospital and the waiting room was packed today. I had me treatment and mentioned the abdominal pain - Jenny said the radiation could be to blame - it could be causing gas pockets. They reminded me I should be on a bland diet - no raw fruits or veggies, basically white bread, mashed potatoes and rice. I swear how do they think I am going to gain any weight with that diet. I told them I would take the gas cramps and eat whatever feels right. Jenny asked if I wanted to see the doctor who was there today - I said no - she quickly added he had really beautiful eyes to look into. Jenny walked me out and told me if the pain gets really bad they can prescribe a pain med - I told her I really don't want to add another ill to my day.
Mom and nick met me and we came back to her house where I promptly curled up in a ball on the couch and slept. My Mom got me cancer pins from Hallmark - yes, hallmark has a cancer line now - Chemo Sucks, I Love Pain meds, Nurse's Favorite & One Tough Chick - hysterical. Well, I think I am going to go buy a new router so I can play games again - last night Rob and I were at a loss for what we should do - we usually both have our laptops out and have chill out time once the kids go to bed and last night we focused on tv instead.
Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Happy Father's Day

Rob and I actually made it through the movie last night. I forgot to take my ativan before it finished so Rob met me upstairs while I waited a bit for it to sink in. Nick woke up at the crack of sunlight and Rob nicely took him and Ellie downstairs and let me sleep in. I got up at 8 AM and went downstairs - the kids were crafting in the basement. We had a laid back morning because church wasn't until 11 AM today. We got to read the newspaper and just relax before heading out. Our computer router decided to poop out today so we don't have an Internet connection at home right now - I don't know what we will do tonight.
We stayed after church and visited with friends. When we got home Rob replaced the spark plug in the lawn mower (thank you Uncle Bill for picking it up for us) and Rob mowed the grass while the kids played and I got a good nap in.
I have to say my neuropathy is so much better each day - not completely gone but 100% better than it was. The abdominal pain still rolling strong - I was hoping it was a day or two behind the neuropathy and would soon stop but no such luck. We are at Mom and Dad's for dinner right now - a nice BBQ. Our children are wearing on Rob today - too much time together - I guess. Mom made a pretzel torte for dessert - I showed her the recipe in a magazine I got not too long ago - yumm-o. I am going to wrap this up because I am not at home and need to get the family home. I hope all my "Dad" friends had a wonderful Father's Day with their families and a very Happy Father's Day to my Dad, Rob, Ole, Grandpa GG, Uncle Bill, Uncle Bry, Uncle Joe and Uncle Mike, Dean, Edwin and Norm - I think I got everyone in that list (sorry if I missed someone). Visualizing my healthy (abdominal pain-free) body, Tree

What a Saturday

Regular night here at home. The second huge storm went through before 10:00 - Rob had to go out to the garage to get these cabinets prepared to install today and he was planning on waiting until 10:00 but decided to run out as the rain began. I went up to bed after the news and Rob stopped working sometime after that.
Ellie woke up first and went downstairs - I think she thought Rob was still home but he was already working. Nick and I slept until 7:30. We had breakfast and watched some cartoons before getting dressed and heading out to find some new treasures. We hit a dozen or so garage sales and a rummage sale - thrifting a plenty. We hit major pay dirt at one yard sale who was selling both an American Girl horse in almost brand new condition and wooden Thomas the Train stuff. We picked up a couple new card games, some hats for the dress-up bin and a bike for Nick. Ellie and Nick were begging to go to Grams and Gramps to show off their treasures - so we did. Dad and Nick played with his new trains and Ellie braided her horse mane. Mom made lunch for the kids - PB&Js with homemade strawberry and apricot jam - yum.
Mom and Dad had plans and I was pooped but Ellie really didn't want to come home with me so Ellie joined Mom and dad on their adventure and Nick and I came home. I noticed the neuropathy hasn't been so bad today - don't know if it was the day off of xeloda yesterday or all in my head but it was a nice change of pace. My abdominal pain has remained steady though. I have tried advil and it doesn't seem to make a difference as far as the abdominal pain.
Nick and I hung out on the couch - I tried to nap but our neighbor decided it was a good time to rev his car in his garage - after about the first hour I started wondering when he might be able to asphyxiate himself. Just because you have a car that makes noise doesn't mean the whole neighborhood wants to hear it for hours on end. Rob got home and took Nick outside for a while so I could put my feet up. We ate dinner and I just started getting Nick ready for bed when Ellie came home. Rob got Ellie to bed and I got Nick to bed. Rob and I are chilling out of the couch, both on our laptops. We have a netflix to watch - it had been here for over 2 weeks. I think we might try to watch it but I don't know that either of us will make it.
Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

WooHoo a day without xeloda

I was so tired last night and those abdominal cramps were not easing up so I went up to bed early - Rob stayed up to watch the basketball game. Because of the neuropathy and the radiation sleep has become uncomfortable - I was sleeping on my stomach but now my hands fall asleep when they are above my head. Basically just continual toss and turning now.
Ellie was up early - she at least waited until 7:30 to come into our bedroom - Nick woke up then too. We had some breakfast and got ready for the day. I was told last night not to take my xeloda this morning so I was able to eat without waiting. We had a surprise for Ellie - Mom, Dad, Jo, Tony, Nick and I were all taking her to camp this morning. They arrived at 9:15 and I just called out get your shoes on and go out to Gram and Gramps car - Ellie looked at me like I was crazy. We dropped her off - swim day today and a mighty good thing to do in this heat and humidity. We were early because we were already loaded in the car and didn't have to travel to Mom's - so we got gas in the car and drove by a couple garage sales.
Mom dropped me at the hospital - we knew it would be a bit longer today because I was going to see Dr. Marsh after my radiation treatment. Radiation was running late today - I didn't get into the room until almost 10:30. It is always nice when one of the therapists looks at you and knows you aren't feeling yourself and then tells you so. Longer treatment today because it was quality control films day. I was finally finished with radiation and went over to Kellogg to see Dr. Marsh.
Margaret met me in the waiting area and we went up to an exam room. I really think I have been trying to eat lately but I keep losing weight - I stepped on the scale and I was 4# down from my appointment last week. Margaret looked at my hands and feet and although they are hurting me and are uncomfortable they are not anywhere near the worst they've seen. I told her about my abdominal pain and then Dr. Marsh joined us. He looked at my hands and feet and told me that typically they see skin breakdown and cracking and that I am doing a great job at keeping mine moisturized. The abdominal pain could be wither menstrual or could be treatment related - basically my colon swelling and not being too happy. I asked about advil and was told that might help with not only the abdominal pain but also my hands and feet (I guess my hands were a bit swollen). As far as the neuropathy goes I was told I can try anything I want but to also weigh the cost vs. satisfaction potential. Most vitamins, supplements, herbs will take about 8-12 weeks so build up in the body to be able to have a result. I did pick up a B6 supplement today because that was one they did suggest. I had read on another blog about wearing crocs - so I did and the nubbies did seem to help (after I got over the initial pain element of the nubbies). I want to thank my friends who emailed me their suggestions about medication - I was told go ahead and try it. Dr. Marsh finally got around to the weight loss issue and it really isn't an issue until surgery - apparently, the surgeon won't do my surgery until I am pre-treatment weight again. Dr. Marsh felt I wouldn't have too much of a problem re-gaining in my 4-6 weeks off.
The gang picked me up and we were on our way to Target for our shopping adventure. We shopped until everyone was pooped out and then headed back towards Mom's. Dad picked up lunch and we just relaxed and Nick played until it was time to pick up Ellie. Nick, Dad and I took the ride to get Ellie from camp - Dad signed her out (such the thrill). We headed back to Mom and Dad's and had afternoon club (Rob was working on a project and wouldn't be home until dinner time). Soon after we got home the huge thunderstorm rolled through - it was incredible to see the rain coming down almost sideways and the wind. Jo and Tony waited until the rain let up to leave, Nick and Dad went downstairs to play with trains and Mom and Ellie went on the computer to play webkinz and do some online shopping - me, I took a late nap. I've noticed I have been sleeping with my mouth open and wake up completely dry - annoying. The nice thing about sleep is that the abdominal pain goes away or at least doesn't wake me up.
Around 6:30 Dad drove us home and Rob was on his way home, too. I re-heated some pizza and we had dinner before getting the kids to bed. I decided not to take my night does of xeloda - Margaret today told me it isn't a huge issue if I miss a dose or decide to not take a dose because I will be on it for a total of 6 weeks and that is a lot of xeloda. It's time for Miami Medical so I will wrap this up. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Sweet 16

Another regular night here - Rob went up a bit early and I stayed up and watched the news. Ellie and Nick were both up way too early - the sunshine is killing my mornings. Ellie nicely took Nick downstairs to start breakfast and let me sleep a couple extra minutes. About 10 minutes later Ellie came up to tell me Nick begged for cherry jello for breakfast and she let him have a cup, however, he had spilled it on himself, the couch and the rug. Nick came up with a red spotted shirt and pants - time to get up. I soaked Nick's clothes in the sink and tried to get the red off his skin but it wouldn't all come out. We brushed teeth and got dressed.
Ellie packed her picnic lunch and Nick packed his "garage" (a paper shoebox) with some cars to take to Mom's. We got Ellie off to camp and traveled to Mom's. The boys picked out Curious George as their car entertainment and we were off to the hospital - sweet 16 today (only 12 more - but whose counting?) The lady who had the spot before me in radiation has finished her treatment so I noticed the new person isn't as prompt and my appointment is really 10:15 instead of 10:10 now. Treatment went quickly and I was cruising out of there. Mom picked me up and then we took a chance that the boys would behave so we could go to Bath & Body Works sale. It worked for about 3 minutes then they went nuts - the one saleslady actually knew them by name and was giving them lip balms to roll along the floor. I am quite sure they all drank after we left.
We went back to Mom's for lunch. According to the calendar today should be Nick's drink day and he pretty much hung true to that - sipper and sipper of milk or chocolate milk. We took the boys out the the deck for some water play in the water table. Nick ended up "washing" Mom's windows and watering the flowers - while Tony just drenched himself with water. We picked some mulberries to eat and eventually made our way in because it was too hot. Nick and I went to get Ellie and Tony knocked out for a nap.
Ellie had a great time min-golfing at camp today. I think its funny that she didn't want to do the batting cages because she has witnessed softball games during our church 4th of July picnics and she didn't want to get hurt - kids. We came home and hung out inside because Ellie spent the day outside and looked like she needed to be inside in the air. We ordered in some pizza and Rob came home jut before it was delivered. Gave the smelly kids baths and shampoos and got them into PJs. Early bedtime for the early risers.
I just got a call back from my BFN, Margaret. I am going to stop in and see her and Dr. Marsh tomorrow after radiation. I was told not to take my morning does of xeloda and that sometimes the neuropathy will heal itself with just a few days off xeloda. My hands feel slightly better today except for my thumb and pointer fingers. My feet are about the same - it looks like they are callused - I wonder if its my new gym shoes. I did some online research today and I know I don't want to have to add another medication to my day so I was looking for natural treatments and a couple suggestions were wearing crocs because of the nubbies on the bottom, rubbing feet and hands in with vitamin E or muscle rub - I will ask about these tomorrow. I still have the abdominal pain and in doing some xeloda research today I noticed that is also a side effect - as well as skin discoloration - I just hope mentioning this won't lead to another - hop on up to the exam table moments.
Well, I need to go take care of my feet and put my hot pad on my back - visualizing my healthy, neuropathy free body, Tree

Wednesday - Hump Day

Finally a regular old night at our house. Ellie and Nick even slept in. We got Ellie ready for camp this morning - lunch packed, sunscreen applied - it was water park day at camp. We got in the car and dropped Ellie at camp and headed to Mom's. Mom and I got Tony and Nick loaded in the car and were on our way to the hospital.
Treatment went fairly quickly and then it was doctor day so I was put into an exam room. Dr. Nanda eventually made his way in - apologizing for his delay saying they put me so far away he had forgotten about me. He asked about treatment and side effects. I told him about the neuropathy - he said that wasn't his doing and I need to talk to Dr. Marsh about it. I told him about the diarrhea and how I feel its under control and would rather have this side effect than constipation. I told him about the small area of discoloration on the inside of my thigh - uh oh - need to examine that one. He asked about fatigue and weight loss and told me he is keeping an eye on my weight and he'd be on me if I lose anymore - I told him my Mom is right there with him. I jumped on the exam table for the shortest exam ever - he looked at my thigh and told me he wasn't concerned about it. As I was leaving he told me I was the perfect patient and how my being a patient baffles him and I shouldn't be there at all. I told him I am looking at this as a learning experience maybe I am going through this so something important is learned or discovered. He gave me a nice shoulder pat and told me he'd see me next week.
While I was at the hospital I needed to pick up some samples of allergy medications for Ellie so I walked to the medical building and picked up her new meds. Mom picked me up and we went back to her house. Nick and Tony played for a bit before we had lunch and then tried to get the boys to relax. Mom got a box today that was a long rectangle and Nick started pretending it was a boat but then stood it up and it was his elevator and Tony would go over and say knock knock or 'eek boo (peek a boo) and Nick would swing the flaps over causing Tony to break up hysterically laughing. It was finally a Dr. Suess dvd that was so slow that let the house relax - Tony feel asleep in Mom's arms and Nick cuddled next to me.
We left to pick Ellie up from camp - she enjoyed the day and is really looking forward to their first field trip tomorrow to Skokie Sport Center (mini golf, batting cages and a picnic lunch). I put in a call to Margaret to tell her about my hand and feet - left a message. We came home and the kids really wanted to be outside enjoying the sunshine. Rob took the kids out to play in the sprinkler and yard. They had popsicles and a bunch of fun. Mom came over for dinner - Dad is in California for the week. Mom and Ellie made a fruit salad while I re-heated some veggies - we had a real nice dinner together. I have had the worst abdominal cramps today - not sure if its gas or menstrual but either way uncomfortable. Ellie suggested I try a bath - so I did and it did seem to make it better. I made myself a cup of tea and have the hot pad on and my feet up.
Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

50% Finished!

Rob went us early leaving me to watch the cooking channel with the "sweets" special. Shortly after Rob left for work this morning Ellie came into our bedroom and complained of "the headache" she wasn't warm so I re-positioned her in her bed and told her to go back to bed. It wasn't even 5 minutes later I heard her grabbing for for garbage can and the telltale cough started - poor kid. I emailed her allergist to see what can be done about this post nasal drip stuff and we are going to try a different allergy spray and follow up next week. I called camp to let them know she wouldn't be there today and then we went to Mom's.
We went to the hospital where I received my 14th radiation treatment - thus 50% finished with radiation treatment. I stopped by the pharmacy to see my friend Katie and pick up my zofran. Mom came around and picked me up and we went back to her house to rest. Ellie still wasn't feeling well and it really showed. Nick's hunger changed to thirst today - he could not drink enough. To celebrate my milestone Mom got out her foot bath and gave me a little foot pampering today - all felt nice until the neuropathy set it. I think that might need to be addressed before my follow up appointment next week. My knuckles on my hands now have a feeling similar to when you paint for an extended period of time and usually don't - that almost blistered stage. I can't open plastic rubbermaid containers and it is almost impossible to unlock Nick's carseat.
Ellie finally perked up and decided hard boiled eggs would be a good first food of the day - she ended up eating 3 of them. Nick nibbled of fruit and nuts - he was a squirrel today. We came home late afternoon and the kids played and watched some tv while the thunderstorm moved in. When Rob got home he gave Nick a bath while I got dinner rolling. I have two overly tired children - Nick must be growing and really seems like he should have an afternoon nap (tantrum wise) but if he does then he's up until 10PM and Ellie just had a bad day.
We had a nice dinner before getting Ellie and Nick to bed. I have an upset tummy right now - I know - nothing new.
I am hoping tonight is a better night than last night. I thank all my family and friends for their kind words and thoughts on my milestone. I just filled my 4th week of xeloda up in my pill case - time is slowly ticking by. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Monday Monday

Nick finally fell asleep at about 9:40PM last night - what a night - this is why I don't encourage naps anymore. Rob went up right after Nick fell asleep - I knew I would just flip in bed so I stayed up and watched part of the news before going up.
Ellie and Nick were both up early. Ellie fixed breakfast for the two of them (super cute) and she introduced Nick to toaster strudels - breakfast will no longer be the same in our house. It was Ellie's first day at Camp Iwannago - she began asking at 7:45 AM how much longer until we had to leave - very excited about camp. We packed her lunch together and applied her sunscreen and got Nick dressed and were on the road. Ellie's favorite counselor from last year is her counselor again - again, very exciting. I signed her in and kissed her and then Nick and I were on our way to Mom's. We are on a tight schedule now because Ellie's camp starts 15 minutes before we need to leave for the hospital. We got to Mom's and got in her car to go.
My appointment was super quick. We all had a good laugh because I mentioned one of my stickers had peeled off and they went to re-apply it but they always touch up the permanent marker marks too - while she was touching up she mentioned it's a bit strange to be drawing on my butt. I said strange yes but at least those aren't the tattooed marks - thank you very much for that. At the end of the treatment they asked about side effects - I provided the list and then they weighed me - officially 5# down now. It is ironic to me - I am currently the weight I lied about being on my first drivers license - finally achieved the body I was after 18 years ago except now I have cancer and my ass looks and feels like crap.
We went back to Mom's and hung out - had lunch, took a nap and Nick was forever hungry still. Nick and I eventually made our way to pick Ellie up from camp (she had a great 1st day) - I remembered it was the 14th and the video was due back at the library so we ran home and dropped the video back at the library. I returned Katie's (the pharmacist at Kellogg) call from last week and she told me she was able to get me a longer cycle of zofran - woohoo. I think chemo-brain has set it. I have heard it is similar to pregnant brain - certainly feels like it - forgetfulness. Thankfully, Christi called to tell me they were running late and they would meet us at pottery - oh yeah, its Monday - pottery day. Nick and I dropped Ellie at pottery and went grocery shopping. I picked up some new foods to try - rice pudding and tapioca pudding. Nick wanted every food we passed and had a very convincing "but Mama I am so hungry" air about him. We got home and Rob helped us bring the bags in and load the fridge up. I got dinner ready and Rob gave Nick a bath.
The neuropathy in my feet is terrible today - when I am bare foot it feels like I am walking on glass. I took a bath and the hot water seemed to help while I was in the bath. The kids are both in bed and Rob and I are relaxing on the couch. In about 14 hours I will be 50% finished - might have a party tomorrow. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Back home but tired

Just a quick catch up this evening because Nick had a nap on the car ride home and is still awake! The weekend turned out a whole bunch better than expected weather wise - we actually had windows open and had to wear sweaters in the evening. We got up to Michigan in record time Friday - I was so surprised I thought for sure we would get stuck downtown but we breezed through. We did stop at the rest stop so I could get out and walk around a bit - Memorial day weekend was terrible for my butt - sitting that long in the car - so we now know I need to break the ride up.
First order of business was getting a new mattress and Dean came along to help me while Rob caught up with his Mom and took the kids down to the beach. The new mattress is 100% better than the concrete slab we were sleeping up but became 1000% better when I bought the 4" thick memory foam on Saturday. We had a lovely dinner together followed by a trip to the soda bar for ice cream. The White Sox beat the Cubs by like a dozen runs. Unfortunately, the diarrhea side effect has really caught up with me and has now turned into the norm - I am still in denial. I was really tired come bed time but it took til about 3 AM to fall asleep - must have been the new mattress and my lack of hip pain sleeping on it.
Saturday we went shopping for a new washer and dryer - thought it was just the washer but then realized our load from 2 weeks ago was still moist in the dryer. Picked out some organizer stuff for the kitchen and some snack food for the kids. Dean nicely took the kids out for the afternoon so I could take a nap and Rob could install the hardware in the kitchen. A trip to the tennis courts, the park and quite a few video games and pinball at the soda bar entertained for hours. We had dinner and found out the soda bar wasn't open because the cooler weather - Ellie wasn't very happy.
Today was laid back - we all slept in. Nick was an eating machine. Dean left before lunch - had to get back to work. We waited for the washer and dryer to be delivered - oh so nice to be able to wash towels again. We tried to straighten up and clean up to get as much of the house back to normal before we left. We got home a bit under 3 hours - Nick napped in the car which was nice because I was able to shut my eyes for a bit but the boy did not want to go to sleep tonight. We dropped Rob at home and went to Mom and Dad's for dinner. The kids were delighted with Gram and Gramps "treats" rubberband shape bracelets, high school musical stuff and a scary looking doll. Jo, Ole and Tony joined us and we had a nice dinner. The kids kept us laughing.
We made our way back home - almost forgot to take my xeloda (again).
Overall, great weekend spent with the family. The kitchen looks awesome with the ceiling finally completed and the new pendant lights up and hardware on the cabinets - really coming together - we were actually able to put a couple things into the cabinets. I will be 50% through with treatment this week - I am looking forward to completion because the side effects are tiring. The heightened nerve sensitivity has spread from my feet to my hands now - my feet just throb all the time now. My stomach is not real happy either - hoping the next 16 treatments go quickly. Visualizing my healthy, side effect free body, Tree

I am Pooped Out

Rob and I stayed awake to watch the Hawks win and then went to bed. Nick had another light sleep night. Ellie and Nick were both up early and headed downstairs for breakfast.
We went to Mom's for morning club and got their bags packed for the car ride. Nick insisted we watch Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special before we left for the hospital today - Christmas in June.
I had an appointment with Dr. Marsh today so we parked and everyone came in with me. Ellie got to meet a couple of my radiation therapists and they showed her the room and the machine and even showed her how the table moves and the arms move. They showed her the "cock-pit" adjacent to the room with all the monitors and my radiation info on the computers - even my picture. I had my treatment and met Ellie in the waiting room before we met Mom and the boys in the hall.
We walked over to Kellogg for my Dr. Marsh visit. We all fit into the exam room - believe it or not - thanks mostly to all the kids sitting in the big comfy chair together. We discussed my side effects and the different ones that could still show up, Dr. Marsh did a quick exam - everything looked and sounded fine. The pain in my feet is nerve based - I am supposed to keep my shoes on and not walk around barefoot. Margaret is going to work with the pharmacist and our insurance to try to lift the 5 day limit on my zofran. I asked if we will actively be able to see any progress during my treatment and was told no because my cancer marker was un-remarkable and my PET scan showed just the rectal tumor there really won't be any tracking until treatment is finished. He said we are just going to assume daily chemo and 5x/wk radiation is doing what it is supposed to be doing - kind of frustrating and un-rewarding it would make it easier to swallow those 6 pills each day if I really knew they were working.
After my appointment I was feeling ok so we went grocery shopping and ended up picking up picnic fixings at the store and had a picnic at Beck Lake. It was fun - the kids all jumped into the back seat of Mom's car and were watching their DVD and eating together - nice time.
We headed back to Mom's and Tony passed out for his nap and I was about to join him - this week is really pooping me out - when we got to Mom's I took almost a 2 hour nap. Mom filled the water table with warm water and the kids played. Judging by what was out when I woke up I think they did play-doh and kitchen play, too.
Rob called to tell me he was home - so the kids and I packed up and went home. I had a headache that was starting and it took forever to go away. We had a quick dinner before Ellie and I went over for camp orientation except once we got there I remembered I hadn't taken my xeloda before we left - so we stayed for the counselor introduction and then had to leave. The kids are now asleep and Rob and I are relaxing on the couch. Tomorrow after my treatment we will head up to Michigan for the weekend. Rob's Mom flew into town tonight and Dean took her up this evening. I am hoping I have enough energy to do something this weekend - I am yawning just thinking about work. First order of business when we arrive is to go buy a new mattress - it took me almost a week to recover from Memorial Day on that mattress.
I won't have an Internet connection until Sunday so I will write then - hope everyone has a nice weekend - visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Officially 2 weeks through

Long night last night - poor Ellie was up most of the night vomiting. I have to say of all symptoms a child can have I think vomit is the worst - there is nothing you can do it just needs to work its way out. Rob and I watched tv for a bit - Rob gave me a lovely foot massage.
We were all up early - Nick didn't ever fall into a deep sleep last night and he was up when he heard Rob leave for work. Ellie was hungry - so we tried a banana and some ginger ale - no luck she was not ready to keep anything down yet. I made the smart decision to close the windows and try to keep some of the cooler air inside today. We got dressed and headed to Mom's. Despite Ellie not feeling well - she was the only one Tony wanted today (I just hope he doesn't get sick, too). We packed some snacks and a couple plastic bags for Ellie and left for the hospital. I didn't even make it to check in today and Jenny was there to take me in. The hard table is beginning to wear on me - it was hard to begin with but it seems each day it is getting harder to get up from it. It was another quick appointment but when I was saying see you tomorrow I was informed it was doctor day. I was seated in the exam room and Dr. Nanda came in - just wanted to check and see how everything was going and to see if I had any questions, concerns or criticisms. I told him most of the nausea had worn off (or is very much in check with zofran), that my butt and its hemorrhoids were healing nicely. He told me to expect the diarrhea to probably become more regular and the fatigue to most likely become more consistent. I called Mom and she and the kids met me at the entrance. Ellie was still vomiting but thankfully approaching the 24 hour mark of this bug.
I have had a tail-light out on my car for more than a month now and its getting more dangerous and annoying - so we picked up my car and took it to the dealership to get it fixed. I dropped the car off and we went to Kohl's for a little time wasting shopping. It was crazy - Tony was in his stroller, Nick rode in the cart for about a minute and then Ellie jumped in and Nick ended up helping Mom push Tony. We picked up lunch because the boys were vocalizing hunger - everyone must have been hungry because the car fell silent while they ate. I got a call saying the car was done so we cruised back there to pick it up. I met Mom back at her house - timed it right and we both were there about the same time.
I closed my eyes for a while but was assaulted by two little boys - I woke up to the three eyed men from Toy Story inside my shirt, stickers on my shirt and Tony had wedged a plate under my fingers. Ellie just chilled out in the glider chair and had her feet up, too. I tried to coerce both of the boys to lay down with me and although they both initially did lay down they both left. We eventually made our way home - Nick borrowing the firetruck from the playroom. He played with it non-stop until we sat down for dinner - coming up with stories - a storm was coming, a fire needed to be put out - on and on but independent.
My big side effect today has been light headed and dizzy. Mom and I got dinner ready, Rob came home and Dad arrived. We ate a very tasty dinner and could have easily had a couple more people join us because we put away a bunch of food for leftovers. Ellie still isn't herself (she fell asleep like 2 minutes after getting tucked into bed). Nick isn't himself wither - not sure what his deal is. I think I have heart burn but I don't know because I have only had it about once before. Rob and I are flipping back and forth between the Hawks game and Top Chef. Today I started my 3rd week of xeloda and it was my 10th radiation appointment -slowly but surely the days are being checked off. Visualizing my healthy body, Tree

Tuesday and Body Aches

Regular old night last night except Ellie got to go out with her girlfriend for a special treat at her favorite ice cream parlor. Her flavor selection - blue raspberry sorbet and cookie dough - ewwww. Nick was long asleep when Ellie got home but Ellie caught up to him shortly after she got home.
First morning that we don't need to be up for school and both kids are up super early - I tried to explain summer hours to Ellie - we will see if it sunk in or not tomorrow. We ate breakfast before heading over to Mom's house for the first joint morning club. The kids picked out a movie for the car and we were on our way out. Another super quick radiation appointment this morning but I got to tell you my body aches today. It is getting hard to find a comfortable spot to sleep in because both side are radiated as well as my butt so that leaves sleeping on the stomach which isn't always practical - especially for naps.
We went to Costco after my appointment and picked up the basics and some strawberries that smell so good. We got dinner makings for tomorrow night and then headed back to Mom's for lunch. No one was really motivated to eat - my kids have turned into me. I had a peanut butter and jelly, Ellie had a slice of cheese and a slice of ham, Nick had a couple orange peppers. Mom took the kids to play while I put my feet up and tried to sleep. I am so tired today but my body was not about relaxing to the sleep point.
When I went to the porch it was play-doh time but soon switched to treasure searching in Mom's jewelry boxes. Ellie could have stayed all day but I tried to explain its called morning club for a reason. We ended up heading home and watching some videos and just had chill out time. Rob had to work a school event tonight so I knew it was just me and the kids for dinner and asked if they wanted to go out to Red Robin for a treat - everyone was in agreement. Right before we left Ellie complained her head was hurting her (she has picked up my sympathy side effects lately and has a canker sore also). I was sure it had to do with her not really eating this afternoon and told her she'd feel better after she ate.
We got to the restaurant and ordered - the kids colored their menus in but Ellie seemed out of it. Sure enough dinner comes and she isn't touching anything on her plate and then the tell tale cough comes (the one the pre warns the eminent vomit about to happen). We were right by the bar and I asked for a bag (thinking they would have them right there and knowing there was absolutely no way we were making it to the washroom in time) but the bags were in back and we ended up standing over the garbage can in the bar temporarily. I asked for the check and the manager came over and voided our bill - she was insistent, she said she was a Mom and understood - totally unexpected but totally nice.
We quickly made our way home and I felt so bad but I told Ellie there was absolutely no way I could help her out of her clothing because I could feel my stomach knotting up. Thinking about things with Mom we are wondering if we didn't have some bug in the house - Nick didn't feel right on Saturday, I rarely feel right (but I take the king of anti-nausea pills) and Ellie today. I gave the kids a bath and we put of pj's - Rob is home sooner than planned. Rob and Nick are playing trains and Ellie is watching High School Musical.
My huge accomplishment of the day - I got to refill my xeloda pill case for the 3rd week. Tomorrow is 2 weeks down of xeloda about 4 to go (1/3 done - woohoo). I am not looking forward to the temperature getting hot again tomorrow - I've liked the cool - not the rain so much. Visualising my healthy body (and my family staying healthy), Tree

School is out

Last night we were flipping between the Hawks game and Next Food Network Star - the rain really cooled the temperature down. We got a call from Uncle Bry and got to catch up a bit and we are hoping he comes down sometime in July to see us.
It was Ellie's last day of school today and we got up and got her off to the bus stop. Nick and I got ready and headed to school for 2nd grade awards. Ellie received MVP Team Player award from her gym teacher. Nick and I darted out of school and off to Mom's. This is my first full week of radiation (I've been eased in by a 3 and 4 day week previously) I think this week will tire me out. It was an ultra quick appointment today - Mom was surprised when I called to say I was through. We drove to our house to pick Ellie up off the bus.
We hung out for a bit before deciding to go to the library to register for the summer reading club. Ellie is very excited that the theme is Clue related this year - Nick was excited that the jungle safari mobile from last year was turned into a train this year. We checked out some books before going back to Mom's for lunch. Mom fixed lunch for us - delicious leftovers from yesterday that seemed to marinate and be better today. I was able to put my feet up and close my eyes for a bit. I am feeling muscular pain today and the feeling is back where I can tell you exactly where they are radiating.
The kids and Mom went out for some vitamin D and to try some beading craft (Nick is not old enough yet). We eventually left for Target to pick up my refill of zofran and to get some new popsicles and breakfast stuff. We came home and got ready for Ellie's pottery class - her summer session began tonight (and thankfully there are enough children registered it won't be cancelled). Nick and I drove Ellie to class and saw Christi dropping Catherine and Ben off for class and they nicely included Ellie in their plans for miniature golf and ice cream tonight. My evening medication drives me nuts because its all about timing - zofran about an hour before I want to eat, eat dinner and then xeolda about 30 minutes after I eat - I feel like I have to set a timer sometimes.
Christi dropped off Ellie for family dinner (she is getting picked up soon). The stupid helicopter is back again tonight - it is seriously going to drive me crazy. We had our dinner together and the kids are watching Hollie Hobbie. I am thinking about a hot shower - not too motivated yet. Oh, I got an award today, too - World's Best Room Parent - this put a smile on my face.
Hope everyone is enjoying the cooler weather - I am! Visualising my healthy body, Tree

Sunday Sunday

As anticipated, last night was a longer night with Nick. He woke up a couple times with coughing that I was positive was going to lead to vomiting but, thankfully, never did. We all slept in this morning - Nick and I were up around 8:15 and Ellie around 8:30. Nick still was complaining he didn't feel good so Rob and Ellie went to Church and Nick and I stayed home. Nick totally wiped out running to see Rob and Ellie leave and hit his chin on the wood part of the chair in the living room causing instant screams of pain. Luckily, no blood or broken teeth.
Nick and I just cuddled on the couch and took it easy until Rob and Ellie got home. I went up to take a shower and put away a couple baskets of clean clothes. The kids went out and played with the neighbors. It is the 1st Sunday of the month - Family Sunday at Mom's - Grandma and Grandpa GG and Uncle Bill join our regular bunch for dinner. Mom put out quite the spread of food including some very yummy mac and cheese. The kids all played out in the yard while we got the dinner together and had a great time.
We had dinner and dessert - Nick started complaining about his tongue hurting him - I really think this boy is having sympathy symptoms for me (the tummy not feeling good, tongue is sore, mouth is sore). Nick only ate a couple slices of watermelon and a brownie for dinner. Oh, and cracker jack (Grandma GG bought each of the kids some and Nick decided it was for dinner). I probably ate the most I have all week but soon regretted it because something didn't agree with my tummy. We had a nice visit with the GG's and Uncle Bill before making our way home.
I got a bath ready for Nick and pj's ready. We opened some windows to air the house out. There has been a helicopter flying somewhere near our house for about an hour now - kind of annoying. One of our neighbors is watching the Hawks game and we can tell anytime they score because of the yells and screams.
I finally gave in and took 1/2 a loparimide in hope of slowing down the runs to the washroom. Tomorrow is Ellie's last day of 2nd grade - can't believe it - time has flown by. Today was a real nice, low speed day. Looking forward to knocking out another 5 treatments this week - pushing toward 50% finished. Visualising my healthy body, Tree

Saturday Family Day

I got to sleep in until 8:15 this morning! I got up and had my breakfast - apple scrapple bread and yogurt. I cut Ellie a piece - she likes it too! Nick has been telling me for the last few days he doesn't feel good - I've been passing it off as him hearing it from me - but I think the little kid generally doesn't feel good today. Rob went to do some work and the kids and I got dressed before hitting Mom and Dad's house.
We hung out there for a couple hours - enough time for Nick to break Grandpa's model car about a dozen times. I was able to get some quiet time in and decided to round up the kids and we would head to Ikea. We picked up Rob and got on the road - Nick actually fell asleep in the car. We had lunch at Ikea and then went looking around unfortunately, I remembered Ikea having far more kitchen organization products than they actually do - we left empty handed. While in the area we stopped at the thrift store and at the woodworking store before heading back home.
Rob watched the kids play outside while I put my feet up and took a little nap. Rob's co-workers were throwing their annual end of the year bash and we rallied and all went for a little bit. Nick and Ellie had a ball with their little dogs and playing ball with them (in the rain). We only stayed for about an hour because I needed to get home for my evening xeloda dose.
Rob gave the kids a quick bath and then it was off to bed. Nick is still complaining about his tummy so it might be a long night. I was just flipping through the channels and found out that fine living is now the cooking channel - bonus! I am going to go rub some lotion into my feet and go to bed - its been one of those days that you don't really do anything but are exhausted from. Visualising my healthy body, Tree

Friday and 25% Finished

Standard night here last night except for the fact that I've learned spearmint toothpaste no longer is refreshing and actually is kind of dry heave producing and that too many glasses of ginger ale lead to sweet mouth. I ended up making some lipton black tea to break the taste in my mouth up - it worked.
We were all up at normal time and ate breakfast together before sending Ellie out to the bus and Nick and I to Mom's. It's summer hours for Jo so she gets to join us on Fridays through the summer. Nick wasn't playing so nice this morning with Tony - they both wanted the same thing at the same time and Nick was not into sharing. Our friend Mrs. B stopped in and she dropped of a new canker sore product for me to try in my mouth. We eventually got to my appointment and was told they would try to get films again - not sure if they were successful or not - didn't ask. When I met the gang at the car they really hustled while I was at my appointment - they hit Dunkin Dounuts and got munchkins for Ellie's field day party (I was going to bring carrots and Mom and Jo told me I was being "that" Mom) and went to Great Harvest Bread and got my old favorite apple scrapple and Jo tried their pesto asiago and chocolate babka (a carb lovers paradise).
We went back to Mom's and Nick and I were on our way home to get ready for field day. I made a huge sipper of iced tea for us to share and we picked out some chalk and a Frisbee. We got to school just as the class was coming inside from recess. Ellie and I ran to the nurse to pick up her medication to take home for the summer and then off to class for the party. I have to say - it was so nice this party was taken care of by Ellie's teacher and I didn't have to organize anything because I don't know that it would have come together the way it did. They had pizza, cherries, grapes, watermelon, strawberries, chips and drinks - and munchkins for dessert. After lunch we cleaned up and went to the park for the field day component. I originally wasn't going to go because of the sun but I decided to go for a bit for Ellie. I loaded spf 50 on and can I tell you that stuff is like spreading cream cheese of your skin it never quite penetrates.
The park was great because I got to catch up with my real bff - Christi and Nick got to visit with his girlfriend 'Nana (Christi's youngest - Christi's eldest daughter and Ellie been in school together since preschool). Before all this cancer yuck we would see each other at least once a week but usually more and since then its been school related run-ins. We ended up staying for a bit over an hour and I had a real nice time with Christi and a bonus conversation with Jody (Nick's old teacher and friend). She told me the funniest joke - I'll share:
A woman has an ob/gyn appointment to get ready for and knows she doesn't have enough time to shower so she does a washcloth clean up in her bathroom and paints her toes. She gets to the office and gets called in and places her legs up and the doctor says, "Wow, you got all fancy for me today." She thought about her toenails - it wasn't until she returned home and went to the washroom again that she realized the washcloth she used was loaded with glitter from a prior clean up. Haha
Nick and I came home and I was really hoping for an hour nap before getting Ellie but Nick was needy today. Rob was getting home just as Ellie was getting off the bus and he said he would watch them outside so I could close my eyes but that didn't happen. I at least got to put my feet up for a while. Eventually, we called the kids in to make a game plan for dinner - Ellie wanted pizza again. Ellie and I ran to the produce market to get some healthy choice snacks and replenish our kefir supply and then swing by and get our pizza.
We had dinner together and I experimented with meds - I am supposed to take the zofran an hour before I eat dinner but I forgot so I took it and ate dinner - seems to be okay but an hour and a half later I feel like I have a burp I can't get out. Got the kids to bed and now Rob and I are on the couch kind of watching the Hawks game and typing away on our laptops.
All in all - it was a great day. I got to see some old friends and catch up, I got to be outside for longer than 5 minutes and I got to see Ellie very happy. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, visualising my healthy body, Tree

Zofran is my new BFF - for now

Nothing to say much about last night - Rob and I switched between the Hawks game and I think HGTV. Slept okay. We all woke up at normal time and went downstairs for the day. I started the day with a zofran pill - my new anti-nausea medication and I have to say (so far) it is working well. I waited about 30 minutes and had a yogurt before taking my morning xeloda. While eating my yogurt I was feeling something weird in my lower gums - little sores have formed now. So far they aren't that much of a bother - I am sure with certain foods they will possibly bother me.
We got Ellie off on the bus and Nick and I headed to Mom's. Tony was there today - so Nick had a playmate. Mom made me banana chocolate chip muffins - so I tired one with a bit of tea and it stayed down - no dry heaves this morning.
We got on the road to the hospital and I got to my appointment. Becki met me and explained that for QC they would be taking films today to make sure I was receiving the required dose at the required point. Because of said films the appointment ran long today and then when I was leaving Becki told me the film part of the machine wasn't properly functioning and the film weren't able to be taken today and we might try again later. Mom picked me up and we went on a gift finding mission. We were at Dick's Sporting Goods when Tony decided to break loose and run from one side of the store all the way to the other - I was chasing him yelling - run Forrest, run.
We went back to Mom's and the boys had some lunch - I drank some ginger ale and then we went to play in the new water table outside. Since my hyper photo sensitivity I only stayed outside a couple minutes before retreating to the porch to take my nap. The boys sounded like they were having a blast though. Nick woke me up a while later with a kiss on my neck - the sweetest he has ever woken me up. We went home to get Ellie.
Ellie had fly up day today at school - the children get to fly up to the next grade and meet their teachers and find out who is in class with them next year. Ellie will have Mrs. Bart - her old kindergarten teacher who was moved to 3rd grade right after Ellie finished kindergarten - all of us couldn't be happier. It is so reassuring to know that in the fall when life goes a bit crazy for a couple months that there is a comforting soul there for us.
The kids and I went outside to enjoy the breeze a bit before Rob came home. We had some chinese re-heats tonight. I went up for a bath while everyone was finishing dinner and was able to enjoy it tonight without the tears and frustration. I think its time for a cup of tea so I will leave this with visualising my healthy body, Tree

And the crappy side effects continue

Last night was an early to bed night for me - I had some sleep I wanted to catch up on and I have to say for the most part I was pretty successful.
Nick slept in this morning but Ellie was up at regular time. My stomach wasn't as bad as it was yesterday but I did notice food wasn't tasting so good and taking my pills seemed to make me reconsider immediately my decision to take them all at once. I got Ellie out to the bus and Nick finally woke up. We headed to Mom's house. I had my morning tea - trying to settle my tummy - really didn't work today - instead of just dry heaves I actually moved onto vomiting this morning.
I got to the hospital and Jenny asked how I was feeling - if the nausea had gotten any better and I told her - no it was worse. Lucky me, Dr. Nanda was there today and I got to meet with him for a couple minute - he makes me laugh. He asked if I had just systematically decided to check off each of the side effects he had told me about. He also told me the best thing for my hemorrhoids would be to walk around the house naked under a mumu dress. He changed my anti-nausea medication and suggested I take it upon waking and about an hour before dinner. I had my treatment - which it seemed everyone was eager to do quickly today.
Nick has been asking to go to Big Lots for a couple weeks now - so we went after the hospital. Then we went back to Mom's and I took my nap while Nick watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and ate his lunch. Mom fixed me lunch - cinnamon toast, bananas and greek yogurt. I decided to get going to Target to pick up my prescription and milk. Nick decided he wanted to stay at Mom's and come with her later for dinner.
The pharmacist told me that our insurance will only cover 5 days at a time for the new anti-nausea medicine - I will talk with someone at Kellogg tomorrow because that is kind of nuts. I got home and got Ellie off the bus - she played DS while I put my feet up.
Mom and Nick arrived and the kids decided to play outside for a bit. Mom massaged my feet with the new lotion she bought me - so nice. We got stuff ready for dinner - I took my new anti-nausea pill and hoped for the best. Rob got home in time to give Nick his bath and Dad arrived soon after. I tried to eat but everything kept getting stuck in my throat. I ended dinner with my garbage can and dry heaves. Ellie rubbed my back as I sat over the garbage can - I hate this. I also hate that Nick says Mama doesn't feel good. I pretty much hate it all today - I know this has a point but I truly feel icky. After dinner I escaped to the bathtub for a little while and soaked in the peace and soaked out the tears - pity party for one please. Maybe its time for the anti-depressant - that is one pill I don't have yet.
Dad made me some mint tea - the kids played with Mom and Dad, Rob did the dishes and I sat on the couch. I kind of feel like its garbage can time soon - visualising my health body, Tree

And on Day 7 the side effect begin

WARNING - this post isn't pretty - side effects began today and I will describe all of them.
Rob and I got the kids to sleep and tried to watch a horrible video - we ended up flipping between the Hawks game and Tori & Dean. We were both pooped and headed up after the game - I forgot to take my ativan and that became very apparent when I was still awake at 10:30, 12:05, 2:15 and 4:17. I should have just went downstairs and took it but I was seeing if I could fall asleep without it - no luck. Nick woke up a couple times - confused that he was in his bed at home and not in Michigan. Ahhhh.
We were all up early and I had this really gross feeling in my stomach - without any medication. Today started with the diarrhea side effect - so I took a pill. While eating my waffles I noticed they tasted like sandpaper would. Funky tummy. I took my morning xeloda and immediately knew it was going to be that kind of day. I took a compazine very soon after. Nick and I headed to Mom's house. I had a cup of tea thinking that might solve the un-easy tummy but no such luck. I ended up with dry heaves - completely unsatisfying.
We finally headed off to the hospital for radiation. I still felt gross - they actually gave me a bucket for radiation. Another pesky side effect I am having (that I haven't ever had in my life) are bleeding hemorrhoids and because of the radiation I was told not to apply anything to them - ahhhh. I saw a nurse about them today because they truly are painful. She said I could take a bath or a sitz bath a couple times a day and pick up some suppositories with cortisone (not sure how that is going to help out).
Mom pulled around and got me and then we went back to her house - I was out of energy today. I was freezing cold today - even with 2 blankets on I could not warm up. Mom truly tried to make me better today - everything from rubbing my back as I kneeled in front of the toilet to asking what she could make me to eat/drink and taking care of Nick so I could sleep.
Nothing sounded appealing today - no food no drink. Mom made me a good old fashioned grilled cheese and cut a peach and some ginger ale. I was able to keep it down.
Nick and I came home to get Ellie and they have both tried to be good while I relaxed on the couch and took a bath. Another bizarre thing today is a hot mouth - I feel like my mouth is burning up - ice water, ice sherbet, ice - I tried everything to relieve it. As I sat down to write this I got an overwhelming feeling of vomiting again. Dry heaves again - this stinks. I am now walking garbage can in tow. I am now one week down - 4 (and a bit to go) - I am hoping this gets better - I didn't have these kind of symptoms while pregnant. I returned a message Margaret left me last week asking how things were going and we played phone tag - basically unless I become dehydrated I don't need to be alarmed. Visualizing my healthy body, my eased tummy and just plain old wellness, Tree