Plan B day

Usual night here - fell asleep on the couch but had a really poor sleeping night. The kids were up early and were downstairs playing. We got moving quickly - Ellie and I jumped in the shower and we all got dressed and headed over to Mom and Dad's. We were all heading down to Navy Pier for the museum and wonderfest and followed each other down. The lakefront had some amazing scenery - the sand had been frozen in wave form - very cool. We got down to the Pier and there was lots of traffic and then we found out that at 10:15AM the one parking lot was completely full - Plan B.
Jo looked up movie times on her phone and we decided to go see Yogi Bear. We had our deja vu ride back on LSD and were en route to the theatre. We found 9 seats together and got some popcorn, candy and drinks. We had some good laughs - not from the movie - but from the boys. Tony watched a good portion of the movie kneeling between the seat backs in front of us. He also lectured Nick (quite audibly) that Nick had spilled the popcorn on the floor and then he started cleaning it up by throwing it into the row in front of us.
We went to lunch at Red Robin after the movie and the laughs continued. It was a fun day but when we got into the car after lunch I was both happy and sad that it wasn't even 2PM. We came home and did some straightening up - we are having the family over for NYE tomorrow night. The kids were on each others nerves so I decided we needed to get out of the house again. We went to their bank, the post office, our bank, the produce store and ended at Target. I have to admit - this is the longest I have ever gone without shopping post-Christmas at Target. I am normally there the day after Christmas but we really didn't need anything this year so I waited and everything was 75% off today. We stocked up on goldfish (.52 a bag), kleenex (.74 a box) and I got some stocking stuffers fro next year, too. The kids used some of their Christmas gift money to buy some of the clearance toys - Nick got a Toy Story 3 and cars duplo set and Ellie got a different 3 in 1 lego house and a box of miscellaneous legos.
The lines were back into the clothing section and we chose a line that had people that didn't have too much in their carts but we had crack-heads in front of us and a cashier that wasn't too quick. We finally got all our cart unloaded and the guy in front of us only had 3 things - paper, car mats and an air freshener - should be quick but no it wasn't. He was whispering something to the cashier about the air freshener - I thought he was arguing it should be in holiday clearance but that wasn't it. About 5 minutes later the cashier called the manager over and the manager started explaining the difference between Arctic and pine scent - I really thought the hidden camera might pop out because I could not believe in lines 10 people deep we would seriously be having scent conversations at the check out. Apparently, his boss wanted a pine scented air freshener for his car and all he could find was alpine - he finally decided to take the freshener and then started a conversation about the stupid car mats and if the cashier felt they were a good deal - OMG. I was completely, sweaty and hot and could not believe I had spent over 10 minutes in line behind this guy.
We came home and the kids went instantly to work on their new lego creations. I switched laundry loads and put away the 2 baskets that had been washed. We had dinner and the kids went back to play for a bit. Rob started bedtime but I finished it. It has been a long day - I had really hoped the kids would have been exhausted from jumping and walking around today but oh well. Both Ellie and Nick had runny noses and the start of a cough today - hope I don't get it. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Road trip

I spent the night on the couch, I can't even recall if it was on purpose or not. Ellie came down at 6:59AM and kissed me good morning - Rob and Nick were down around 8AM. I slept in a bit later but roused to the smell of coffee. Rob went off to try to fix a door somewhere and the kids were watching cartoons - I grabbed the phone and called Christi for some girl talk. The kiddos eventually found me and my mug of coffee on the phone - we are going to try to get together later this weekend.
I called Mom quickly to invite them to join us at Navy Pier tomorrow. Rob and i talked and we just knew we had to get out of the house. We packed some drinks and snacks, grabbed the Mackintosh pictures and we were on our way. First stop was Hobby Lobby to look through the frames - we found one we liked but they only had 1 - the guy in framing nicely told us he hadn't placed his order yet and would order 2 new ones for us and they will be ready next week. We got some lunch - Nick still isn't himself, little bit hot to the touch and his appetite is off.
We were on our way to check out some thrift stores and Rob looked back in the car and said Nick was out. I won't bore with you with all our shopping details - basically nothing good on the thrift front - Rob got a couple sweaters.
We stopped at a couple "manly" shops for Rob and Rob and talked in code and decided since we were already out and about and not too far away we would head a bit further and hit Vernon Hills Cuneo Museum Winter Wonderland. We stopped in at Portillos on the way and had a slice of the eclair cake and something to drink. The lights didn't disappoint - if you have never been it it is a huge lit Christmas display you drive through for miles. You set your radio to their station and can hear Christmas music - you can count the hidden snowman and they have a wonderful display of all the cartoon characters (everything from Batman to UP, Sesame to Wall-E).
It took almost an hour from start to finish to make it through - the kids loved it and it just makes you feel happy. We drove home and the kids watched something on the dvd players. We got home and the kids had something to eat and we started bedtime. Ellie and I got some much needed cuddle time on the couch while Rob got Nick to sleep. Rob just came down from getting them both tucked in and we were remarking how nice the last couple days have been. Lots of fun in store for tomorrow - Navy Pier for the children's museum and winter wonderfest.
I feel "normal" again today - I guess it really takes about a week. My nose is really annoying me - I have been using a dry nose spray but it is still dry and bloody. I noticed today that the drivers seat in the car has butt grooves - this is either a sign that I drive too much or a sign that my butt has lost all fat and is just bone. To make matters worse, when I had my PJs on tonight, Rob pointed out I had a hole on my butt - my favorite flannel PJ bottoms that are 12 years old. I threw out my PJ bottoms and picked out a new pair. We are catching up on Top Chef and relaxing. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Thrift regret no more

I decided to try bed from the get go last night and went up around 2:45AM only to find Nick was in our bed glued to Rob. I eventually fell asleep and had an ok nights sleep. I slept in but not too late because I had promised to make pancakes for breakfast. The kids were playing very nice together while I made breakfast. We ate and then everyone went their own way - Ellie went up to her bedroom to build the final version of the lego house, Nick went downstairs to play with toys - Rob and I checked email. I went up to keep Ellie company and I curled up on her bed and put her blanket over me and I was out. I got an hour nap in - we got dressed and plans were made while I was napping for Ellie and Nick to go over to Mom and Dad's so Rob and I could have some time together.
We got the kids ready - Nick was bringing trains over, Ellie was bringing her perfume kit that Mom and Dad got her for Christmas and dropped them off at Mom and Dad's. Rob and I headed north to Gurnee in hope that my Charles Rennie Mackintosh art would still be there. We had an awesome adventure and time to talk without interruption. We got to the store and started back in the art section - after digging through the frames I found our 2 - in the cart they went. I found a wooden pirate ship for Nick (had a bag of accessories), a Kit cooking studio for Ellie, a Thomas track and store box for Nick. When we headed to the check out I saw a rack of cds and we looked through and ended up with about half a dozen - cheaper to buy a cd for $1.61 than pay $1.29 a song off itunes. We checked out and were the lucky recipient of a red star on our receipt - $5.00 off our next purchase.
We decided it was time for lunch and were in search for something better than fast food but not fancy sit down either. Going south on route 41 (at around 60 mph) a deer ran right in front of car, jumped the median and was hit immediately by on-coming traffic - kind of shakes you up a bit. We ended up at Michael's in Highland Park - I have read reviews of the place so we thought we would try it - success. The menu was versatile - I had a char broiled chicken sandwich, Rob had a cheese burger - delish. We stopped at Hadassah resale on our way back to Mom's and I found a bin of legos for $3.00 and Rob found a few shirts.
We got back to Mom and Dad's and Rob and Dad cruised out to Home Depot and Target to pick up some things. Ellie shared her perfume creations, Nick showed me his "candy cane striped" Metra car - we had gotten him the car for Christmas but it didn't have the "candy cane stripe" on the back - so Mom painted it on for him. Nick had a bad bout of diarrhea while we were gone - poor boy. We visited for a little bit and then packed up and came home. The kids played with their new thrift toys - Ellie worked on her lego house, I took Nick up for a bath. He wasn't himself so I decided it was bedtime but he wasn't all about that. I read books, I sang songs, I sat and rubbed his hand and head (it was hot) and he would not go to sleep. I finally decided a change of pace was what was needed and called for Rob to come up and finish Nick's bedtime.
Rob was successful about 10 minutes later. Ellie and I watched Cupcake Wars and then Rob joined us. It seems like it has been a really, long day - productive and awesome but long. I am feeling great today - just finger tinglies still but that is about it - dry, bloody nose too. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree
If interested - my acupuncturist, Patricia, was in the Tribune - here is a link:
www.triblocal.com/evanston/community/stories/2010/12/integrative-medicine-helps-manage-holiday-stress

Late night edition

I guess, technically, I have missed the post today seeing as it is 1:30AM but such is life. I fell asleep on the couch last night but was awoke around 4:15AM by the sound of something coming down the stairs - Nick was soon standing at my side. He apparently went into our bedroom and decided he wanted to sleep with me and not Rob and sought me out. Rob, upstairs, had just heard the noise of the gate being opened (we have a gate at the stairs to #1 keep Kitty Kitty not in the bedrooms and #2 keep Nick from accidentally falling down the stairs at night). Nick had come under the quilt with me and a few minutes later Rob came down to make sure Nick was ok - I decided we would all go up to bed (it stays darker in our bedroom in the morning than the back room).
Ellie was up before 7AM - Nick and Rob a bit after 8AM and I slept in until after 9AM. It was a chaotic morning here - a bit of cleaning, a bit of getting on each others nerves and a bit of watching Toy Story 2. Ellie called Mom and asked to be "rescued" from our house. I talked to Mom and told her the kids and I would all go with them on their grocery shopping adventure. Ellie and I laid on my bed and had a heart to heart about emotions and how we sometimes need to rope them back in and be in control.
Mom and Dad came to pick us up and Rob hung out at home - still not feeling 100%. We went to Hallmark to shop the after Christmas sale - kind of stunk. We went grocery shopping and the kids quickly melted down in the store but we got some necessities to get us through the next few days. We stopped in Panera for a sweet treat and watched as Nick tried to eat just the frosting from his cobblestone muffin and Ellie ate this cookie that left almost as much chocolate on her face as in her tummy. The ride home was humorous because Nick likes to wear the headphones in Mom's car to watch the movies and he tries to talk to us with them on. He speaks at extreme volumes and then doesn't really hear your answers.
Mom and Dad dropped us at home - Ellie finished watching Camp Rock (the dvd we had been watching in the car) and Nick went to work badgering Rob about making him a rocket ship out of wood. Not just any rocket ship and not one that might double as a bean bag throw - this rocket ship must accommodate the 12" tall Buzz Lightyear and has to have very specific specifications. I finally got Nick upstairs and to bed - Ellie went up a bit after Nick. Our friend, Brannon, came over for a visit - he and Rob were going to go out but we persuaded him to come here. This would be the reason behind the late edition post - we have been having such a good time that we lost track of time and he just left.
Overall, I am on the upswing of side effects. The neurotoxicity is still there but much more mild than last week. I have on and off lower back pain. I am thinking about venturing back to the thrift store tomorrow to see if the Mackintosh art is still there but I am not sure yet. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me -whomever that shall be, Tree

Snow Day

Rob went up early last night, he had the beginning of a hacking cough and stuffy nose. I stayed up and watched SNL and then the 2 Chicago shows after and chose to sleep on the couch to avoid the germs in our bed. I heard Rob and Nick come down this morning and looked at the clock - 7:15AM - aghhh. I heard the Rob get his coat on and the front door open and shut - he went out to move our cars to the opposite side of the street so the plows could get through and we didn't get ticketed. We got the "lake effect" snow last night and it was still coming down this morning - looked beautiful. Nick kept knocking on the window and trying to talk to Rob through the window - I was awake. Ellie woke up around 8AM - woohoo for sleeping in.
I sent Rob to the doctor for walk-in hours - he had something viral - antibiotic, inhaler and flu-shot later he was home. I read the newspaper while the kids played in the basement. They played very nice together for the majority of the day. We put some of our Christmas presents away and just sort of had a lazy day. I got some laundry done - it managed to pile up again. I got new sheets on all of our beds - figured I would combat the germs. I took a long, hot shower - felt wonderful and it made my nose feel good. Another thing that has been happening is that my nose has been so dry it bleeds - I asked Margaret and she did say it could be chemo and not just dry winter nose. Any how, the humid, hot shower is great for my nose and makes it feel better.
Ellie asked to make her lego beach house into the 2nd version and I told her I would help her if she took the 1st one apart - my fingers could not do it. I told Nick I would work on a duplo house/garage for him (he needed something to keep him busy while Ellie and I worked). I made him a 2 car garage with car port and then made him a house with a overhang that we connected to the garage - it kept him busy for about 30 minutes. Ellie and I worked as quickly as we could but eventually had to yell for Rob to distract Nick so we could finish up - another successful lego house.
We packed up and bundled up and went over to Mom and Dad's for some snow fun. We loaded one of our sleds and made our way to the car - I was amazed I was able to get out without too much trouble. Although it is plowing on our side on the street today - the plows still go down the other side and essentially plow the cars in. We got to Mom and Dad's and Jo and Tony were there are ready to go out and play. I helped get T in his snow apparel and Jo and Dad went out back with the kids. There was enough snow that the kids could use the deck stairs as a ramp for their sleds to go down. Mom and I had the best laughs watching all of them (from inside). Tony kept intentionally falling, face first into the snow. Ellie was loving going down the ramp on her sled. Nick liked getting rides on the sled from Dad and Jo.
They made it inside to dry off and warm up. I tried to get their wet stuff off but the cold snow was like fire to my hands. Mom had made hot cocoa and Dad put all the wet stuff into the dryer. Mom had started working on dinner and the kids played with Tony's rescue center. We had a nice dinner together - some re-heats and some new. The kids played kitchen for a bit before we decided on movie night at Mom's - she had ordered Three Caballero's with her holiday dvds. We all cuddled together on the couch and put on blankets to keep warm. Dad killed the lights and put on the twinkle lights - Tony fell asleep.
We did a Scarlett change - not so bad, a little blister and some redness but not as bad as last infusion. Jo, Ole and Tony left and we followed not too soon after. I warmed the car up and got the kiddos bundled up and we left to come home. We got vitamins and pjs and filled the humidifier and I got Nick to sleep and tucked Ellie in. The tinglies (other than touching cold, wet snow) have somewhat improved today. I do have lower back pain - I think it is from multiple nights on the couch, though. I am hoping to not get Rob's germs - staying away and washing hands frequently. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

A very merry

Rob and I got stockings stuffed and gifts under the tree before he went up to bed. TBS was running the 24 hour rerun of Christmas Story and I watched the last half before falling asleep on the couch - it was pretty funny, I kept waking up at various parts of the movie. We told the kids last night not to come down before 8AM - knowing that meant nothing. At 7:45AM I heard Nick talking upstairs and then coming down the stairs. I thought for sure Ellie would have been up but she wasn't - Nick woke her up.
Rob made us some coffee and we got the video camera ready and then the stockings were opened. Nick was very happy Santa bought him miscellaneous pieces of track for his train set and Ellie was happy that she had new shower gel. Ellie was very patient while Nick opened his gifts - mostly trains but a few craft things too. Ellie got to work opening her gifts - about half and half, American Girl and art and crafts things. Rob was much better at gifting me than I was him this year. I had been researching fm receivers for Rob's ipod to play in his car but every one I looked at online had terrible reviews - so I passed it up. If anyone has one that is good in our area let me know please.
Rob got me a new lounge wear - a couple pairs of yoga pants, a couple shirts and a lovely addition to my pandora bracelet. The kids were so funny opening with their facial expressions and random thoughts. We finished opening and the kids started to take things apart to play with. I was able to get all the bags and boxes from last night un-packed before Mom and Dad and Uncle Bill came over for breakfast. As if Mom didn't do enough last night for dinner she made the majority of breakfast this morning. I cooked the polish sausage and picked up bagels and cream cheese but Mom made the most delicious strata and caramel gooey buns and potatoes - yummy breakfast. We made a decision last night that Nick and Tony had enough to open and Mom and Dad saved their "big" present for today. Best description, a boys version of a dollhouse, it was a police/fire station 3 story house with all the furniture and people and most importantly - vehicles.
We sat down for breakfast but Nick and Ellie had no desire to eat when the living room was filled with new things. They were so happy to show off all their new toys and were delighted they had Mom and Dad to play with them. With the snow still falling, the kids persuaded Rob to take them outside to play. We bundled them all up with layer after layer and off they went. They began sledding down the front path and then Nick went to ask our neighbors to join them outside playing. The tried to build a snowman but the snow wasn't really cooperating on that front. Rob got out Nick's jeep (the battery had kept its charge) and Nick tried to pull Ellie on her sled - too funny. Rob made his way back into the warmth and the kids eventually joined him.
Mom and Dad left us and I think we opened pretty much every present from its original packaging. Ellie really wanted to make her new lego beach house that Jo and Ole had got her - real legos (not duplos) with 100s of pieces. Ellie and I worked the rest of the afternoon putting together the beach house. Rob and Nick painted his boat they made a couple weeks ago and Rob tried to play with duplos with Nick. It was really nice to work on a project with Ellie like that - we really needed that kind of time together. My fingers held out until about 1/2 way up the roof then they began to tingle.
Rob gave the kiddos a bath - they got to use their stocking roll-on paint. Rob came down and we decided to surprise the kids with movie night - Polar Express on the pull out couch. We got the bed ready and Rob turned the twinkle lights on and we made cinnamon popcorn and we had the rest of fruit from breakfast and we broke into our "movie night" gift pack from friends. It was a very nice evening - all of us sitting on the sofa bed shoulder to shoulder. It took forever to get Nick to sleep tonight - I thought for sure the movie would have calmed him down from the day but I guess not.
Rob and I have been sitting in the back room watching Storage Wars - our new reality tv guilty pleasure. They follow storage shed auctions and these people go nuts bidding for these sheds they can only peer into for a couple minutes - highly entertaining. It was a great Christmas and I cannot finish my thoughts on this because it has caused my eyes to starting flowing with tears and that in turn causes them to go into painful spasms. A bit of queasiness today - it comes and goes. The fingers are still annoying with their tingles but I can feel they are getting better. Still no major joint pain and that makes it almost all worth it. I hope everyone had a wonderful day and was able to get some quality time in with loved ones, I did. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Christmas Eve

Hands are a bit better today - the oxy is leaving my body slowly. I slept on the couch last night because Rob started to have sniffles and a cough and I don't want the germs. I have been fortunate enough to have Rob around these last few days because he has let me sleep in (and keeps the kids pretty quiet and entertained) and he has actually been my hands over the past few days (Ellie too). The finger thing was crazy this infusion - so much beyond tinglies (which still come often and strong) but I had hand/finger cramps that made my fingers bend without my control, I tried to write out a couple cards today and my writing was pretty much illegible and I had a real hard time trying to wrap gifts.
Ellie was a doll and really helped me out today - getting the last cookies delivered, getting the last presents wrapped, cleaning up the craft projects... We cruised out and played Santa, dropping a bag at a few friends houses. We ran lunch to Mom and Dad's and brought some last minute recipe items and we fit in a Scarlett change (she is doing very good). We made a couple more drop offs and hit Dominick's for some Christmas morning breakfast food.
We came home and I attempted to clean for a bit - I guess I do have the perfect excuse this year with chemo and not feeling great on and off. It will most likely be a box clean - where things get organized into a box and the box gets placed in a closet for a later time. Rob nicely gave Nick a bath while we were out but the rest of us needed to be clean. I jumped in first and caught a glimpse of Plum in the mirror - is it possible for a port to just jump right through the skin it is buried under? I originally was able to feel around and find the three bumps but now those three bumps are protruding from my skin. I took a long, hot shower because when I was being hit by hot and steam my both wasn't tingly.
Ellie jumped in next and I got Nick dressed while Ellie was in. Our kids looked absolutely charming tonight - Ellie had a velvet dress on with lace cuffs and neck and Nick wore this gray wool vest and pant set with a big boy shirt - charming. We had about an hour before we had to leave for church so we watched Calliou's Holiday Movie (one of Nick's faves).
We took the extra time to get to church because the snow falling was the micro fine snow that causes cars to slide across the road and slip and slide. We got to church and got to see and visit so many dear friends. I always enjoy the Christmas service because it is dark outside and the lights are dim and the decorations are beautiful. Rob's favorite didn't make the song list for tonight. During service Nick wanted me to hold him and I told him I wasn't strong enough right now - he reached over and grabbed a handful of Rob and packed it into my shoulder and told me I was strong enough again.
We visited a couple more friends after service and were on our way to Mom and Dad's for dinner. I feel bad because I am normally Mom's kitchen helper but with the hands and the on /off queasiness I am not a good helper this year - luckily Jo was able help. Mom had quite the meal - chicken kievs, lamb, salmon, stuffed cannelloni, corn pudding, cranberry sauce, green beans, salad - I know I am forgetting things but delicious food. The dessert procession began - cannoli, cookies, chocolate bark, liquor chocolates, peanut butter balls and brandy oberweiss ice cream - truly biter sweet and totally wrong. This would be my all time favorite flavor of ice cream - only available a few weeks a year and I have chemo cold sensitivity and can't eat it - blahhh.
The gift exchanging was exhausting. I can't even list everything so I will list some faves - pillow pets (its a pillow, its a pet - its a pillow pet) yep, we now own them. Ellie received Kit's trundle bed and a couple new outfits and accessories. Nick was very excited to have new trains to play with and a train dish set to eat with. Rob and I received some very lovely gifts that I will have to go through tomorrow and re look at. I was experiencing on/off queasiness tonight - I didn't even try the glass of wine Dr. Marsh said I could try. We loaded everything into the sleigh to take home and said our thanks and good byes and hugs and kisses.
We got home and Nick and Ellie tossed reindeer food into the front bushes. Nick made chocolate milk together, Ellie got a few cookies out and I got a carrot out. We had vitamins and got pjs on - I got Nick to sleep and Rob got Ellie. We came down stairs and a familiar smell was in the air - the smell of gas coming from the stove but no flame - about the 3rd time this week. I fill the tea kettle too full and it snuffs out the flame. Rob helped me bring up presents -should be interesting because I usually try to have Ellie wrapped in one design and Nick in another but ran out of both of those designs and had to stitch to a third - can't recall whose presents are whose.
Knock on wood the claritin seems to be helping with the awful joint pain this time - I find that I am getting muscle tights but my potassium level was fine. I am looking forward to seeing some smiling faces tomorrow morning and having a family breakfast and then Rob said he might take the kids out in the snow for a while - I'll videotape from the window and prepare hot cocoa for when they come in. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body, for the neurotoxicity to be gone and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree
Merry Christmas!

Disconnect day

I am suffering from neurotoxicity and I do not like it. This will be another shortened post because my fingers aren't what they used to be. We made pancakes this morning - the kids mashed the bananas and helped out stirring. We tried to finish up our ornaments but still need one more day. Rob had to g into work for a little bit and then went to meet a friend for lunch.
The kids and I went to Kellogg for my disconnect. Nick wore his Santa hat and looked charming. I ran into Margaret while I was waiting for Deb to find me and mentioned the severity of the tinglies this time she said we would discuss the ocy dose next time. Deb flushed Plum and then pulled the IV out. I got my neulasta shot and Deb mentioned maybe I should consider acetyl-l-carnitine, it has been successful in helping other chemo patients with the neurotoxicity. We picked up a bottle at the pharmacy on our way out because I will try anything right now. The fingertips are just the start this time, its my toes, my jaw cramps when I take my first bite of food, if I happen to tear up I have eye cramps - it is crazy and I really don't like it.
We went to Mom and Dad's and the kids played with the Polar Express train with Dad. I kept Mom company while she did some baking and then we eventually were off to the butcher to pick up the chicken for dinner tomorrow night. We did a quick walk through a couple stores and then were back in the car to warm up. We stopped by the grocery store to pick up the last of Mom's list and then we went back to their house.
I helped Mom with a project and she glued the bows on some ornaments for me. The kids played with the train and watched a dvd, had some cocoa and then we were on our way home for movie night. The kids pulled out the couch and watched Santa Clause while I got some dinner plated up. Ellie and Rob ran over the gifts for our neighbors - I needed to make some room in the kitchen. We got to the kids to bed early tonight - we have had a bunch of later nights and we know tomorrow will be late too.
Wishing all my family and friends a Merry Christmas. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, for this neurotoxicity to be gone and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Unwanted side effects

This is just a highlight post - the neuropathy is so bad my fingers are actually curling up and it is difficult to do anything but let them curl. We did some ornament work this morning and Rob went to help friends with their new speakers. The kids and I joined Mom and Dad for a Costco trip - so crowded. I got mid day nausea - actually took a bag in the car with me.
We went to Mom and Dad's house and Rob met us over there. We played around for a little bit and eventually cruised off to the Skokie Swift station for the CTA holiday express (aka the Polar Express). Jo and Tony met us at the station. We only had to wait a few minutes for the train to pull up and were all able to sit together. Santa came by to say hi and the kids got to see Mom and Dad's house from the train. We had to get off and go around to catch the train back but the first train that showed up wasn't the holiday train so we waited - well we ended up taking a regular train because I was freezing. The other new side effect is when my nose and mouth are not covered by a scarf it feels like razor blades in my throat and up my nose - bizarre and not so pleasant. The neuropathy began in my feet today but hands are definitely the worst. By the time we got back to the Skokie station I had to have Rob turn the key in the ignition and then it took me about 3 minutes to finally gain enough finger strength to un-fasten my seat belt. This is the worst I have ever had it - I couldn't take the cups off the counter at Starbucks and it took me about 5 minutes to be able to have enough confidence to pick up my cup to take a sip.
On our way back to the car Nick fell in a huge puddle of water. I dropped Nick and Rob off at home and Ellie and I went back to Mom's for a Scarlett change (finally good again) she has new breakdown areas that aren't even under the adhesive. Mom is having sympathetic neuropathy but volunteered to sew the rest of my decorations on the scarfs for me because there is no way I have the dexterity to do that right now. That is what bothers me the most - just not being able to do simple things because I simply can't.
Ellie and I came home and Rob and Nick were watching the Polar Express on tv - they watched a bit more while Rob and I had a sandwich for dinner. I got Nick to sleep and Rob got Ellie to sleep. I have a nice cup of cinnamon tea and I sit here blogging - well kind of. I have my disconnect tomorrow and cannot wait to have one less thing hanging around my body. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body, for this neuropathy to go away and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Infusion a go go

I really tried to go to sleep at a normal time last night, I think it was a bit after midnight. I slept on the couch with my warm quilt. The kids came down a bit before 8AM and they were quiet but I knew I had things I needed to do and got up. Rob had made us coffee and I put a couple slices of bread in the toaster oven. I ran up to take a shower because I won't have the opportunity to do that again until the disconnect on Thursday. Ellie and I packed our lunches and I packed up my bag of wool and we were on our way to Kellogg. Thank you, thank you for snow today because Nick was occupied playing while we left.
We got to Kellogg and I checked in, got my labels and met Deb upstairs. Ellie got to see the entire process and did ask some questions. Deb drew my blood and I went upstairs for my visit with Dr. Marsh. I told them about the claritin totally working for bone pain, about the tinglies happening almost instantly last time and lasting about 11 days. I guess I am fortunate the tinglies aren't permanent - the oxy will not be turned down and would be kept at the same dose. I asked about Christmas wine and was told to take it sip by sip. He was surprised that the neuropathy hadn't caused more direct effects (can't hold a pen, can't tie shoes, can't do small dexterity things) but oh he had to mention that - something to look forward to.
My white blood count was 6.2, my platelets were 105 (just 5 over the cancellation point) and my potassium was good enough to hold off on the horse pill for now. Deb came in and began my anti-nausea meds and steroids, followed by the oxaliplatin and the folinic acid. I took out my bag of wool and Ellie and I went to work cutting flowers and circles and other shapes and sewing them onto buttons for the scarf decorations - I think we probably got about a dozen done. We ate our lunch and then Ellie made her way downstairs to the coffee machine (one of those single serve ones that has the coffee, cappuccino, hot cocoa) and got herself a cup of french vanilla flavored cocoa. We packed up our stuff, Deb pumped the booster dose of 5Fu in and hooked up my travel pump and we were off. I stopped in the washroom and that is when the full effect tinglies began - just turning on the faucet caused them all the way up my fingers and intense tinglies.
I was feeling good so we made a stop at the post office to send of a couple packages and to the Hallmark that is closing to get the rest of the Christmas cards I needed. We came home and every little thing I did sent my fingers into full fledged tingles - just lightly tapping them together does it. I am thankful I made all my cookies and bark last weekend but I still need to finish attaching my decorations to my scarves - maybe by Thursday or Friday they won't be so sensitive. The kids and I worked on their Christmas ornaments we have globe ornaments and snowflakes and I have to say the snowflakes have come out beautifully. Rob helped me make dinner - well, I gave direction and Rob followed because my fingers were not working. I can see now why they warn you about burning yourself because I really don't think I would realize they were on fire.
We had a carb packed dinner - that is the best after chemo. We took the kids up for baths and Ellie went down with Nick to play for a while before Rob took them up to bed. I have to end this because every fingertip on the keyboard is like fingernails on a chalkboard. I am hoping this infusions new side effects end here with the severe finger neuropathy. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body, limited side effects and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree
PS - chemo brain has been going on for weeks and I have forgot to mention 2 really funny things in my life right now. #1- Mom bought us this motion sensitive snowman for the bathroom that talks when you are in there, or move. He sings, "Ho, ho, ho, who's gotta go? Ho, ho, ho, who's gotta go? Here in the bathroom don't mind me I am here to keep you company." "Watcha doing? On second thought don't answers that." "If you have any presents to wrap I have lots of paper in here." "Pull up a seat and make yourself comfy." "Are you ok? You look a little bit flushed - get it? Flushed." #2- The one manufacturer of ostomy supplies that I asked for samples has me on their email list and it first began on Black Friday - a secret sale email (really, black Friday and ostomy supplies?) and then I just got one that was for stocking stuffers - I have to hand it to them for their inventive marketing but I would never in a million years want anything ostomy related for a gift but it does crack me up.

Thrift regret

I don't know what it is but I seriously cannot fall asleep at a normal hour anymore. I actually watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding at midnight last night and made it through the entire movie before falling asleep. It was another couch night - the quilt makes the back room almost as comfortable as being in bed. I woke up after the kids came down - they were real quiet but I eventually made my way to the coffee pot. We had no plans for the day but knew we should get out of the house. We decided on going north - Gurnee area for some thrifting.
We had a nice drive up - the sun was out and made it feel nice. We started at HOBO, which has rearranged since the last time we were there. We picked up odd/random things - umbrellas for each of the kids, I looked at rugs because we have lucked out on some very nice rugs there previously. I need to replace the rug in the back room (or clean it) but it is a cheap way to give a room a new look. Unfortunately there wasn't anything that really called out, "buy me" today.
We went to Community next and while Ellie and I were browsing through the girls section Rob and Nick brought over this like 3 foot long fire truck that Nick had found - ah, no. No good clothing finds today - it is hard because I know neither of the kids need clothes and I like Salvation's pricing better. We did end up with a Polly Pocket cruise ship and the fire truck from Cars (much smaller than 3'). This is where my thrifting remorse comes into play - I walked by the framed art - which I normally don't even look at and this picture sort of jumped out at me. It was an arts and crafts style floral print and it was professionally matted and framed but the frame was damaged and would need to be replaced and it was 1 of 2. I was only fond of one of the prints so I walked away but ended up looping back and pulling up the artist on ebay to see if I was missing a potential diamond in the rough. Couldn't find the prints on ebay so I passed them up - they wanted $80 for the pair.
We hit Salvation and I was able to find Ellie a High School Musical cheerleading outfit and an American Girl denim tie-dye jacket. They had the Little Tikes sports car bed for only $40 but I knew it wouldn't fit in the car - I miss the old mini-van. We were all hungry and decided on Cracker Barrel for lunch - it was nice and warm inside and the fireplace smelled good. I had the best cinnamon french toast - it was gooey and really tasted like a cinnabon roll. We promised the kids if they were good at lunch that we could visit the store when we finished - they were good.
They had the craziest talking, spinning, moving Christmas items. I found a snowman that had like 2' long arms and you held one arm and pressed the button and the whole snowman from the shoulder on spun around to Dead or Alive's, You Spin Me Round - very funny.
We finished up the thrift adventure at Goodwill, they also remodeled. I found a cute American Girl shirt and a lovely Talbots skirt for Ellie, some rubber stamps for me and a Christmas present. We ended our shopping day at Kohl's - I had lucked out with a 30% off coupon and Rob was in need of some pants. About an hour later we ended up with 2 pairs of corduroy pants, 3 pairs of khakis, I got a pair of jeans and half a dozen cards all for about $100.00 - I love Kohl's.
We drove home and the snow had begun to fall - it did look pretty.
I dropped the kids and Rob off at home and went over to Mom and Dad's to help hand the curtain swag back up (Mom washed it). I hung the swag and placed a pizza order and I was on my way home. The kids had pulled the sofa bed out and were watching a movie and playing - we had dinner and got ready for bed. Ellie is going to be my chemo buddy tomorrow - I think it will help her to see the process and also she can ask any questions that she might have. I told her we could bring the computer and a couple card games - I was planning on bringing some wool stuff to try to finish up - we will see.
I tried the bark I made yesterday - the peppermint is very minty and the caramel pecan didn't come out quite the way my brain was thinking it would but hey it's chocolate and people will eat it. Another day of no aches and pains but I did feel like I could fall asleep many different times today - probably a side effect of the going to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning. I know I really should go to bed early tonight but it is a lunar eclipse tonight and wouldn't that be fun to see. I did put a phone call into my nurse, Jen, to see if she had any suggestions for Scarlett and the quick breakdown I get after chemo. She had left a message back with changing Scarlett out more frequently after chemo - ughh. Just picture a 4" square bandaid with the tackiest adhesive ever and then picture peeling that off every other day. I swear I am going to have a 4" patch of stomach hair when this is all said and done. A friend asked me to include my email address in my post - its thazard@sbcglobal.net. Please keep positive thoughts about my platelet and potassium and blood counts for tomorrow - I want this infusion. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree
PS - I did some research on the art prints I saw today. They are by Charles Rennie Makintosch - who the makintosch rose is named after (I love the makintosch rose). I couldn't find the prints I saw anywhere online but I do really like some of his other work - I might need to make a trip back out to Gurnee this week - I hate thrifting remorse, especially when the store isn't local.

A bit of this a little of that

I ended up just zoning and watching tv last night - nothing special. I put the quilt over me and woke up to this crazy clock we have that has its alarm set for 5AM. It wasn't worth going up to bed at 5AM so I stayed on the couch. I heard Ellie come down first and she went right to the basement to play. Nick and Rob came down a bit after 8AM - Nick came and gave me a good morning kiss.
We had a slow morning here - read the newspaper, had some coffee, kids played and danced. Ellie was busy crafting this morning and Nick discovered some new Christmas decorations to play with. Knowing that we have all week together I asked the kids if they wanted to go to Michael's to look for some craft and art projects - why yes they did. We got dressed and were on our way and Rob cleaned his car out while we were gone.
We got a few things to do this week - some ornaments to decorate and some to color. I was able to get a heavier duty needle for the wool decorating. We bought a pound bag of rhinestones - it will be the project that keeps on giving and I am pretty sure I will never have to buy rhinestones again. We ran into Lands End while we were at the mall and I was able to get Nick and Ellie new boots (and a cute pair of gloves for me). We finished our shopping adventure at the dollar store - I needed foil baking pans for brownies and gift bags and you just can't beat the dollar store for those. Ellie found a cute headband she wore to church tonight.
We came home and the kids danced while I put our stuff away and broke up the fruit and nut bark I made yesterday. I made my last 2 batches of bark - peppermint cloud and caramel pecan. The one bummer I have run into with cookies and bark is the fact that Scarlett just doesn't get along with nuts and some of my favorite chocolates and cookies have nuts in them. We got dressed for church - it was the holiday tableaux service tonight. Everyone looked so nice in their holiday clothes.
Dean met us at church and we sat together - Ellie right on the aisle to see the stage. It was a nice service - gets you in the Christmas mood with the sights and sounds. We got to see Aunt Pam who just got into town for the holidays and got to visit with other friends after the service. The kids loved their Christmas gifts this year - Nick got a talking pony on a stick and Ellie got a Christmas tree ornament.
We left church and headed to Mom's for dinner by way of some of our favorite decorated houses - this one house has a huge Santa (think car dealership size) on their front lawn and then there is a street that is very decorated and the cherry on top are the neighbors who seriously appear to be in competition for who can have the most items on their lawn. I dropped Rob and the kids of at Mom and Dad's and Ole joined me for a ride to pick up dinner - El Famous.
We had a good dinner together and visited - the kids ate really well. We taste tested some cookies and pie for dessert - the kids munched on their advent candy. We changed out Scarlett who is looking better but the new build up pads they sent me aren't as good as the ones I got from the hospital and kind of burned when Mom was applying it. Mom gave Rob and I warm weather tops for the cold week ahead and a tin of popcorn for the many movies we will watch this break.
We came home and had vitamins and got the kids in bed - I think Rob might have fallen asleep up there because it has been about 45 minutes and he still hasn't come down. I am toasty warm under the quilt and having a mug of tea. Once again, I am feeling great today - I am sad that it takes about 10 days for the cold effect to wear off because I really enjoy cold water and cold yogurt but in the realm of side effects and what could be I will gladly take the 10 days. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Longest baking day ever

I stayed up and watched Great Balls of Fire after Rob went up last night - well, I listened to it as I made more decorative elements out of wool. I then listened to Christmas in Washington and then Unwrapped on Food tv. I decided to just go up to bed around 2AM and try to get a better nights sleep - sort of worked. I was not ready to be up at 7:30AM when Nick got up and I told him to go down and find Rob but I didn't realize Rob was in bed next to me still. Rob ended up getting up and taking Nick down and I got to sleep in another hour.
It was baking day here - I wanted to get all our holiday cookies done today not knowing how crazy next week could be. I don't think I even got my first sip of coffee in before Ellie was asking what cookie we were making first. Rob went to the Parker's for their annual breakfast and the kids and I set up the baking station. Ellie made our "store" on the dining room table and Rob brought me up the mixer before he left. The kids helped measure and roll cookies. Rob called and asked if we needed anything on his way home - sugar.
We made 9 different cookies today and about 4 dozen of each kind. I let Ellie do some picking of ingredients since she is trying to avoid chocolate this week. She put dried cranberries, oatmeal and white chocolate chips together - it was a tasty mix. Rob played with nick when he came home which let Ellie and I move a bit faster on our baking conveyor belt. Nick kept stealing cookies as he walked by - I learned to put the ugly cookies at the end of the table.
Rob gave Nick a bath while Ellie and I finished up our baking. The kids played for a bit - Ellie took a shower. I packed up a box of cookies to take with us tonight and put the rest in containers for distribution this week. Jo, Ole and Tony were joining us tonight at my Godparents house for dinner - we had major catching up to do. They arrived at our house and followed us out - Nick actually passed out in the car.
We had a lovely time catching up tonight -lots of laughs. My Godfather has seriously saved everything we might have ever given him and he brought out cards we had sent him and a drawing I had done of a Christmas tree in like 1982. It turned out to be Tony's favorite thing and he was carrying it around and was not happy when it "disappeared". The kids had a ball because they had a round about (where they can go from room to room in a circle). We tried to get the kids to watch a movie but the round about was way more fun. The meltdowns had begun and it was time to venture home - I thought for sure we would have two sleeping kids but Nick held out until about a mile from home, Ellie was out in about 10 minutes.
The cold woke both Nick and Ellie from the way from the car into the house. I sang to Nick and Rob to Ellie and then we met up on the couch. I am tired but know it will be a while until I can relax enough to sleep. I am feeling great today and I am kind of surprised that I have no aches and pains because I was standing for about 6 hours while we did our baking. Rob just went up to bed and I am debating trying to do some more wool decorating or just chilling out and watching tv. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Woohoo its winter break time

I watched my normal night tv and debated around midnight going up to bed but decided to brave the couch for a bit longer. I woke up around 3:45AM and decided I would just stay on the couch and threw another blanket on but about 20 minutes later Kitty Kitty decided something in the living room was fun to chase and she ran back and forth under the tree a couple times and was driving me nuts so I went up. Our bed was sooo cold and it seemed like forever to warm up. Nick woke up before me this morning and decided he would turn on the radio on our clock - my usual rule is we can't get out of bed until the radio starts to play (the alarm going off). We all got dressed in our festive apparel and went down to get breakfast.
I helped Ellie clean her back pack out and then we packed it with what she really needed for today. I sent a couple things for the party with Ellie - I have found it is easier to do this than try to navigate multiple bags and Nick. Ellie walked out to the bus stop - it was another cold morning. I changed loads of laundry and did some consolidating of boxes that have been delivered. I started doing some more wool detail work - I have a secret project I am working on and my first try has been quasi successful. I made us a quick lunch and we watched the Christmas sing-a-long dvd. I finished packing up the party necessities and we were on our way to pick up ice cream and then to school.
We got to school and Nick helped me carry and then promptly hung his coat in Ellie's locker. I got to work scooping ice cream - boy oh boy, am I ever happy that I am 11 days post chemo but scooping 18 sundaes literally froze my fingertips off. Luckily the water in the room only ran warm and I was able to heat them up quickly. The kids did an amazing job of decorating their snowmen - everyone was so different and unique. The time flew by and soon it was clean up time. Nick took the entire 45 minutes building his snowman - he used every candy decoration that I gave him. We cleaned out Ellie's locker and got the kids bundled and were out the door.
We went over to Mom's house for a visit but ended up staying for dinner. Mom made the kids cocoa and Ellie played on the computer and Nick played with trains while Mom and I went through magazines for recycling. Jo and Ole dropped Tony off - they were off on a date night. We had Dad bring home Chinese for dinner and we all ate together while watching Christmas Vacation. Nick loved the sledding scene - he was watching it and all I heard was awesome. The kids had a candy cane and we got ready to go home - it had been a long day.
We got home and had vitamins and got pjs on - I sang Nick to sleep and Ellie read in her room and then I tucked her in. I have a nice warm mug of tea and I am un-winding. I am looking forward to our winter break together - we have no firm plans other than chemo and holidays. Tomorrow is baking day - I figure I might not feel like baking next week so we will get it done now. I have to think of at least one cookie without chocolate - we started Ellie on her ibuprofen and no chocolate week and it just doesn't seem fair to let her help bake and not get to sample. I guess I will make a batch of peanut butter without the kisses or I could make the snowballs without the mini chocolate chips. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

A productive day

I watched Conan and George and did some of the detail work on my wool project. I fell asleep sometime after 1AM and didn't wake up until almost 5AM and I really debated just staying on the couch but I was cold and I figured I might as well be cold in bed. I thought Nick was going to sleep in but the alarm went off and he had his head on my chest and there was no way to get up without moving him and then he was up. We got dressed and went down for breakfast - I started getting stuff ready for Nick to take to his teachers and I asked Ellie if she wanted to take stuff today or tomorrow - today she said. Then Ellie told me she really wanted to give gifts to a few more teachers than she had originally mentioned - good thing I shop the way I do and I always have things on hand. I wrapped her up the other gifts and got a bag packed for her to take with her. I helped her bundle up and then we had a comedic exchange at the door - I asked if she had packed her snack - no (I went and got her pear). I asked if she had her gym shoes - no (I went and got them). I asked her to toss me the newspaper and she chucked it into the bushes - at least the bus was pretty much instantly there because of the delay.
I warmed the car up to take Nick to school and then we bundled up and were off - he carried a gift bag in each hand for his teachers. Nick ran into school this morning - even Mrs. Dunham was surprised at the run into school. I was going to do some shopping this morning - Big Lots and Michael's were on the list but as I drove by Salvation I decided to stop in - score! The last few weeks of the year are the best time to thrift because everyone is donating to make more room for the holidays and to get the tax receipt. Before I knew it I had about 2 dozen almost new hanna dresses in the cart - I spent less than $2 a dress and can flip them on ebay for anywhere between $15 - $20 a dress. I found some fleecy footie pjs for Nick and a train number puzzle. I found a huge spool of beautiful wool yarn - $0.88! I had so much fun at Salvation - alone.
I headed off to Big Lots but ended up at Lands End first. I was able to pick Rob up two new pairs of boots - I guess it must just be the year but we all needed boots this year. The best part was they were 40% off. I walked over to Big Lots and was able to pick up containers to pack up cookies and some other food stuff. I ran into Michael's and was able to pick up the buttons and ribbons I needed and even found packing tape - things I never really thought I needed but really do.
I picked up a cup of coffee on my way to get Nick from school. OMG (oh my gosh) I met Nick at the door and he had a Santa like back pack filled and Consuelo had a thank you gift for my thank you gift. Here is the OMG part - I asked Nick how school was and he told me Santa had come to their classroom today and I seriously felt like I might have been Will Farrel from Elf - I exclaimed Santa so loud that other parents looked at me very weird - it was just that Nick was excited about Santa. We got in the car and Nick went on about how he sat on Santa's lap and told him what he wanted for Christmas and that the teachers were his elves. 9 days before Christmas we have a breakthrough. He wanted to go and tell Grams about Santa - so we did.
Nick and Tony played for a while with the trains and Mom made them peppermint hot cocoa. We only stayed for a bit and then went home for lunch and to get stuff ready for the party at school tomorrow. I decided (after a few years of classroom party experience) that I would individually pack each candy bag - we are making snowman sundaes and the kids can decorate them with a bunch of candy. Nick was all too happy to help eat whatever candy I didn't want to pack up. We made it the bus stop just as the bus was stopping at the street before us. Nick likes to race the bus - he starts out at the alley and races the bus to the corner -I had warned him that there was ice under the snow but he doesn't listen. Total wipe out and he gets up looks at his feet and yells I'm ok.
We came home and the kids played downstairs and Nick told Ellie all about his day. I finished up the school party stuff and asked the kids what they wanted to do for dinner - Rob had his work parties tonight. Red Robin was the consensus so we were on our way. It is very funny, it seems every time we go to Red Robin we meet our friend, Mrs. B's son and his boys - they were there tonight. We also ran into our old neighbors when we were walking in - it was the place to be tonight. We had a nice dinner together - the kids ate their entire meal. We ran to Dick's after dinner and Ellie tried on the Bogs and it turns out she liked the print design on the boots more than the actual fit - we didn't get them.
We took a detour on the way home through Sauganash to look at the Christmas lights. When we were kids cars would line up for blocks to drive through and see the displays at some of these houses. There were always a handful of "must-see" houses - the 3 story Christmas tree that climbs through the roof, the real reindeer, Santa's workshop. Nowadays there is really only the 3 story tree house but still a favorite. We noticed that the majority of the houses had decorated in white lights this year - not as fun. There was one house that had these "dripping" icicle led lights that were mesmerizing. The kids liked the giant Rudolph and the gingerbread people.
We came home and the kids watched the end of Finding Nemo and I jumped into the shower. The movie ended and they came up for bed - I got Nick to sleep and tucked Ellie in. Rob just got home from his work parties and I sent him up to sleep the parties off - that is all I am going to say about that. I am feeling pretty good today - no real aches or pains and the cold effect has dramatically diminished. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Ready for the cold to go far away

Usual night around here - Rob went up to bed and I watched Conan and George and then found the last part of Jimmy Falon. I fell asleep on the couch and made my way up to bed around 3AM. The kiddos were up entirely too early but we got dressed and went downstairs. So, we do the elf on the shelf and #1 we have successfully remembered to move it every night this year and #2 Nick is amazing at finding it both here and at Mom's house. I made breakfast and got Ellie a snack and checked email. I got Ellie bundled for the bus stop and we've had good timing the past few days and the bus comes quickly after she arrives at the stop.
I warmed the car up and got Nick ready for school. A pipe must have burst on Howard and we were detoured down side streets and onto Lincoln - it took forever to get Nick to school. I dropped him off and then went to Mom's - got a bonus visit with Ms. Kate. We all enjoyed a cup of tea and visited while Tony watched a movie. Ms. Kate left us and Mom and I went to work trying to finish up my scarfs. Mom's serger does not like boiled wool at all and it was a miracle we were able to finish my project - I have to take it for a tune-up. We changed Scarlett out - still not a good situation. I am going to have to call Jen and find out if there is a dietary change I can make the week of chemo or if there is something else I can try to put on the very red and blistered skin.
I went to get Nick from school and picked up lunch and did a bakery run - they had menorah decorated cookies on sale and that was what Nick asked for - funny what he has picked up at school. We went back to Mom's and had a picnic lunch but the boys were not too interested in food - they did completely eat the frosting off their cookies. I was excited that the bakery had these gingerbread cookies Jo and I used to get at Christmas time growing up - they are Santa shaped and have a real light icing and then a paper cup out of Santa.
We ventured on to the porch to try to finish up the "wool from hell" project. If I decided to take up boiled wool upcycling projects again I will need to invest in a more industrial machine that likes wool. The boys played very nice together - they did play-doh for a while then we danced - they took the ornaments off the tree - they were busy boys. Mom finished the last scarf for me and I already had Nick bundled to leave to get Ellie - we were cutting it close on time today.
Ellie got off the bus and we were at the corner waiting in the car. I told Rob I would do a wine run for him - he needed a couple bottles for gifts at work and he was out at home. We took a ride to Whole Foods - I figured the kids could have samples galore and I could get wine. I was happy to find that Whole Foods carries a winter blend of coffee that smells divine and the kids were thrilled with the variety of samples today. They each picked out a yogurt and we stopped and got steamed milk - we ate in the cafe area - although, Nick did ask if we could eat outside on the patio.
We stopped at Dick's on the way home - Ellie really likes my new boots and said she would like a pair - the boots she has are on there second winter. The Glen Dick's didn't have the Bogs, Ellie tried on the Sorel boots but didn't like them. We headed home and Rob met us at the car to unload. Ellie did her homework and I put away laundry - I don't know why I let 3 bins stack up to put away because it takes forever. Rob gave Nick a bath while I got dinner put together with Ellie - breakfast for dinner sounded good.
Rob took Nick up to bed but Nick did not want to relax for him so I switched off and put Nick to sleep and Rob put Ellie to bed. I am blogging and listening to Sing-Off - these groups are really good. The cold effect is beginning to fade - my hands are still effected but I can now drink water from the faucet without it feeling like razor blades.Time is flying by - I cannot believe tomorrow is Nick's last day of school before break and Ellie is done on Friday. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Still cold out

Rob went up to bed earlier than usual and I stayed up as usual. I watched the news then flipped to Conan and George Lopez - I brought all the makings for the snowman soup into the back room and started to assemble the remaining 40 I needed for Nick to take to school. I finished those and was still not ready to sleep but I was getting cold - I found my blanket and turned on Food Network and woke up around 4AM. It took forever to get warm in bed - that is the problem with going to bed so late in the night - the heat has gone into sleep mode and the house is cold.
The kids were up early and I begged for 10 minutes of un-interrupted sleep and they happily went to play. We got dressed and I fixed us breakfast and got Ellie a snack to take to school. We bundled Ellie up and off she went to the bus - at least she wasn't out there too long today. I called Mom to compare notes and got Nick ready for school. We drove to school and Nick happily went inside to play. I went over to Mom's and got to work cutting the panels of wool for my project and piecing them together to form a design. I got all my panels cut and put together before I needed to pick Nick up from school.
I got Nick and his student teacher, Consuelo, met me with his progress report - how funny. It was a hoot to read - he listens and follows directions and loves (bold print) to draw and has no problem leaving with at least one piece of art a day. He knows all his colors and most of his shapes and it went on and on and I was sort of impressed but sort of surprised because he is 3 - should there really be a progress report for a 3 year old? We picked up lunch and went back to Mom's house. We had a lovely lunch on the sunny, sun porch - great solar heat this afternoon. Mom threaded her serger machine and we went to work attempting to attach the panels - we had mixed success. Unfortunately, not all boiled wool has the same texture or stretch and some are full of nubbies. We were able to get 4 finished today - I just have to put the personal touches on them.
Nick and I left to get Ellie off the bus - we took the lazy (warm) route and parked the car at the bus stop to wait instead of getting out and waiting. We came home and Ellie did her homework and the kids warmed up with hot cocoa and cookies. Rob had to work tonight so we switched dinner nights and went back to Mom's for dinner. Mom had made zucchini bread and the house smelled good and it was still warm when she cut us a sample slice. Ellie played on the computer while Nick and I watched some old version of Frog Prince. They both helped Mom make a batch of cranberry sauce for dinner and I got to tell you it was good.
Dad brought dinner home with him and we ate picnic style so we could watch Charlie Brown on tv. The kids had a couple pieces of chocolate for dessert and I warmed the car up to go home. We got home and had vitamins and got pjs on and then I got Nick to sleep and tucked Ellie in. I made a pot of tea and I am sitting here blogging away. Rob just walked in and we are visiting as I type - I guess I will close this up. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Baby its cold outside

I again wasn't tired last night and there is nothing good on Sunday nights. The cold woke me up around 3:30AM and I went up to bed. It was bitter cold today - for those not around here we were under 0 with the windchill. Ellie was up first and then Nick and I decided we should get out of bed. Layers, layers and more layers - that was the theme of today. I made pancakes and sausages for the kids - it was too cold to think about cold cereal for breakfast. We got Ellie really bundled for her wait at the bus stop - snow pants, parka, boots, scarf, gloves, hat and I sent her out late so she wouldn't be out there too long.
The unfortunate thing about being a procrastinator is that today was property tax deadline day and I don't believe in pre-paying the county any money so I needed to go out today. I warmed the car up for a good 15 minutes and made Nick into Randy from Christmas Story and we braved the cold. The nice thing was the sunshine was fully out today but it really made little difference in the whipping wind. We took the ultimate lazy route and went to the drive up bank lane so we didn't have to get out of the car - taxes paid. I didn't think ahead in all my online ordering for teacher gifts for Ellie and Nick - I took care of Rob's co-workers but forgot teachers. For Nick I wanted to get the high school girls a little something too - so we headed to Bath & Body Works to pick up a bunch of the $1.00 lotions and hey they have all the wrapping stuff there so it was one stop shopping. We got there about 30 minutes before they opened so we went to Walmart - it was just a couple stores down and that is when we noticed it was really cold out.
We took our time walking through Walmart - I was able to pick up all the makings for Snowman Soup - hot cocoa, marshmallows and peppermint sticks. I was also able to get most of the makings for the snowmen sundaes we are making for Ellie's class on Friday. We finished shopping just in time for Bath & Body to be open but the we were walking against the wind to the car - poor Nick's nose was a faucet and his cheeks were bright red. We did our Bath & Body run and luckily they had everything we needed. We did a quick Jewel run - not my favorite place grocery shop but we were there. We dropped by the post office to mail our cards out and then we came home.
I made lunch for us and got the packing line ready to start assembling the snowman soup for Nick's classmates and teachers. I got Nick set up decorating cards for his teachers - he is really good at getting the sticker foams off of the paper. I was able to wrap up the lotions for the high school girls and emailed for the girls names to make it a bit more personal. It was time to brave the cold and get Ellie from the bus - layered on the clothing - again. Nick has been dying to play out in the snow and he took advantage of our walk to get Ellie to do so - the crazy boy was trying to make snow angels. Ellie was a great help and took off Nick's cold and wet boots when we got home - trust me my hands have been abused today. It begins with a gush of tinglies but turns to a painful burning sensation very quickly.
I made hot cocoa and Ellie did her homework. Rob let me know he was going to get a haircut before heading home. We got to catch up with our friend, Steve, he called us and filled us in on their family happenings. Ellie and I went on the computer and tried to decide what holiday cookies we are making this year - I figure I have this weekend to get them done. We put a list of ingredients together and checked through the cabinets before making a grocery list. Rob distracted Nick with a bath while Ellie and I went to Aldi and Target. I was able to get a bunch of what I needed at Aldi but they didn't have everything. I was able to find baking kisses at Target and Ellie got to pick out her breakfast favorites. We got some stuff for dinner and came home.
It was left over night plus the veggies and fruit we had picked up. Rob and the kids vacuumed the basement while I got dinner going and then took a quick shower. We had dinner and got ready for bed. Rob took Nick up and Ellie I started watching Sing-Off. Ellie went up to bed and here I sit blogging. I need to get a nice warm cup of something because my fingers are freezing between typing and the cold of the back room. Slight lower back pain today but otherwise I am doing great. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Auntie Em - we are going to blow away

I was not tired last night - played on the computer until SNL ended and then watched Food Network. I ended up falling asleep on the couch somewhere between 1AM and 2AM and woke up around 3:30AM and went up to bed. Nick crawled into our bed sometime and he and I slept through both Rob and Ellie getting up, dressing and leaving for church. I woke up a bit before 9AM and Nick woke up about a half hour later. I was sad I slept in because I wasn't able to help Ellie pick out an outfit for church or send the video camera with Rob to tape her.
Nick and I had breakfast and found that Nick Jr had all holiday cartoons on today. One of Nick's favorite Christmas books is Toot & Puddle's I'll Be Home For Christmas and it was an absolute delight to find that the cartoon of the book was on this morning. I have to tell you looking out the window at the blowing snow I was pretty happy to be in my pjs and under blankets on the couch this morning. Ellie called me after church to let me know she did great on her reading and that the cookies from refreshments today were great. Rob dropped Ellie off at Mom and Dad's to help them decorate their tree and then he came home.
Nick instantly was asking him to build this wood boat he dreamed up last night. He had a true vision of how it should look and what it should do - it was to hold all his wooden Thomas trains. Since I knew the boys would be totally involved in the boat project I took all the gifts out of the closet and began to wrap up Christmas - I had to take advantage of both Ellie and Nick being busy. I have to say- I have done the majority of my Christmas shopping online and I have had three separate purchases have issues this year. I went to wrap up a box for Ellie and an item on the packing list wasn't in the box, a set of trains I bought for Nick came individually wrapped in tissue paper instead of packaging and then the glue that seals the plastic packing to the cardboard on another gift was not attached - tiny things.
I got almost all the wrapping for the kids finished - I usually pick a different type of wrapping paper for each and all their gifts are wrapped with that design but I ran out of paper with both of the original designs I picked. Rob and Nick built a wonderful wooden barge with a hinged back to load the trains in and out - I guess he wanted it to be a ramp maybe on the next edition. Rob inscribed the side with NICK. Nick instantly went to load his trains in and used the living room rug as the water. I finished up the remaining Christmas cards to be addressed and packed a couple presents to be mailed. I was beginning to think my hopes of not buying boots so it wasn't going to snow much might be wrong. I looked online last night to try to find cute boots - I am a klutz and I cannot had anything with a heel and I don't want the ugly Uggs.
Ok- time to be honest... my boot hatred goes back about 27 years ago. My Mom had got tickets to see the Bozo Circus and it was winter and I was forced to wear ugly winter boots and was told no one would see them except everyone saw them because Cookie led the audience across the stage to exit and it was all on film. The last pair of boots I bought was when I was working at Alden and needed to have appropriate winter footwear. That was the last pair of boots I owned. I found some ok looking boots at Dick's and decided to layer up, brave the wind and cold and try to find a pair of boots. It really was miserable out - especially when trying to walk against the wind - almost impossible. The boots I saw online were not in the store - I found a pair of Sorel boots that were not bad but they didn't have them in my size. Why are moon boots back? They were ugly when we were kids and now they are in adult sizes - why?
I ventured into the kids department and found the seriously, cutest Bogs boots ever and the kids size 6 fit me. Believe it or not I bought 2 pairs - a practical pair in black and then the seriously cute purple paisley. I came home and showed off my cute new boots. Nick was still playing with his boat - we ended up putting felt pads on the bottom so he could slide it across the wood floor. Rob and I got to visit for a bit before we headed to Mom and Dad's for dinner. I felt like I was bundling up Randy from Christmas Story dressing Nick to go outside but it was brutal with the wind and I knew he would jump right in the snow. My hands are definitely not enjoying any part of the cold today - touching the front screen door handle was difficult and brought immediate pain.
We got to Mom and Dad's about 20 minutes longer than it would normally take it seemed none of the roads were really plowed nor salted yet. Ellie had done a great job helping Mom decorate their tree - I am pretty sure there wasn't a branch without an ornament. Mom had left the garland for me to hang - we differ here because I believe the order of decorating should be lights, garland then ornaments - Mom likes lights, ornaments then garland. I hung the garland - not totally to Mom's specifications but it looked fine and we placed an order for dinner from El Famous.
Dad and I took a drive to pick up the food and Chicago, hands sown, gets the award for snow removal - they had clean, heavily salted pavement. We had a nice dinner together - the salsa did its job of warming me up. Funny things overheard today - Nick was asking about his candy bag and when Santa might leave him another candy cane in it - a candy bag aka a stocking. Ellie was singing, "Glory to the New York king." My kids are Christmas challenged and are seriously cracking me up. Ellie's lyric dysfunction makes me laugh on a daily basis - I should write them all down and it could be a lyric dysfunction a day rip off calendar.
We changed, as still, very un-happy Scarlett out and then got on the road. It was an unfortunate coincidence that it was bath night and sooo cold but smelly kids need to smell better. I gave the kids their bath while Rob got us a pot of tea ready. They got their pjs on and I blow dried their hair and tucked Nick in. Ellie did some reading while she waited for Rob's footsteps. I have been blogging for an hour and a half now while sort of watching Sunday night dramas. I feel so accomplished today - presents wrapped, cards ready to be mailed, new boots... Today should be my turn around day for side effects and I should be on a clear road now until next infusion. I know from last time that the hand tinglies and the inability to drink/eat cold take almost the entire 2 weeks to wear out. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Rain, rain go away

Last night was not as bad as I predicted it to be. Nick did wake up around 10PM coughing so hard and it was a cough that he couldn't get a breath in on - I ran upstairs and sat him up just in time for him to start throwing up. Luckily he is not as fast of a vomiter as Ellie and I was able to grab the garbage can before the second round came. I heard Rob and Ellie come in just as I was trying to get Nick into new pjs and take the top blanket off his bed. I got Nick settled again and it only took a couple songs to get him to drift back to sleep. Rob got Ellie to sleep and we met up on the couch but only for minutes because Nick's coughing persisted and I decided I should be closer to him in case he started coughing uncontrollably again and didn't manage to sit up to vomit. Wow, an entire night in bed - strange thing. Other than a couple coughs Nick slept peaceful the rest of the night and came in for warmth around 5AM. Our bed was entirely too hot for me though - I put on an extra blanket last night and it is just too much heat. We all slept in this morning - even Ellie didn't wake up until 8:30AM.
We had a laid back morning - we ate breakfast, we watched Flushed Away because Nick is very interested in where things go when they go down the drain. Rob went to do some work at the GGs but was back in time for lunch. The kids and I worked on their holiday cards to their friends and family. I got almost all our Christmas cards stuffed and addressed - I opted not to include messages this year because Christmas time just doesn't seem like the right time to do the year in review cancer conversation. I, apparently, already confused people last year that I may be divorced because my return address labels only had "Hazard" on them. Christi and I had made plans to try to run out this afternoon for some Christmas shopping. We cleaned up the basement a little bit and Rob and Nick went to work on making and installing some hooks for all the kids dress up hats - it looks so nice. Christi gave me a call to let me know she was home and I went over to pick her up.
We were nutty enough to try Old Orchard but were able to find a covered parking spot about 5 spaces from the entrance. Our mission was stocking suffers for her kids - I was just along for the run and for some friend time. We ended up finding great sales at Bath and Body Works and were able to get something for each of the kids. Christi found an old fashioned wooden ruler at Restoration Hardware and then Christi introduced me to Anthropologie - never been and so much fun stuff. We probably spent 45 minutes there looking around and deciding how practical vs impractical things were - lots of glass in that store. Christi was able to get books for the kids there and we were inspired by some crafty ideas when life is less busy. We came home and thankfully it was still just raining and warm and the weather hadn't changed yet.
I was a bit nauseous when I got home - I don't think has any chemo baring I think it was all the scents at the stores - they all have candles burning and festive scents infused in the air and I think it made me feel a bit queasy - thankfully food solved that. When we were going through what we should have for dinner Ellie zeroed in on chicken strips from Wing Stop. When Ellie and I took pottery together that was a dinner probably once a month but we haven't had food from there in over a year or so - it provided something for everyone.
After dinner we got pjs on and just had some relax time before bed - Ellie spent some time preparing for church tomorrow - she will be reading one of the readings - very exciting - is it weird to send a video camera with Rob to church service? Rob got Nick to sleep, although sleep was the last thing on Nick's mind. Ellie went up to bed soon after and then Rob went to a co-workers holiday party for a bit. I took a couple minutes to do some more cyber shopping - I think I am almost done now. I called Mom to see if it was ok that Ellie comes over after church tomorrow to help them decorate their Christmas tree. I wrote my dear friend Julie a couple emails to attempt to send some cheer her way.
I can now officially say - infusion 2 - done, check with very minimal side effects. Maybe Dr. Marsh was actually telling the truth about this phase when he said this was the easy phase. I still have tingly fingers and have "hot flashes" I alternate (quickly) between the need for blankets to the need for coolness - Mom has the synergy effect and is also suffering through these effects with me. I have some lower back/hip bone pain today but seriously nothing like the first time. Chemo brain seems to come and go - I couldn't for the life of me think of the word for the fridge tonight when I was asking Ellie to put something into it and I finally just said the big white thing that keeps our food cold. Final note of the night - I realized recently that I only own winter shoes - no boots and I thought about buying some today with the impending snow storm we are supposed to be getting but I though that maybe if I don't own boots it won't snow enough that I will need them - I'll let you know how that turns out. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree