Chemotherapy rescheduled

I stayed down on the couch until about 2 and then went up to bed. I heard Ellie get up early this morning and I got up shortly before the alarm went off but Nick remained asleep. I packed Ellie's lunch and switched loads of laundry before I heard the calls of Nick. I got us all dressed - picked out a big neckline for me so that Plum could be easily accessed. Nick is Star Student this week at preschool and today he had to bring in an information sheet with his favorites filled in. I got Ellie out to the bus and then we were on speed mode -I had to be at Kellogg for a 9AM appointment and Mom was coming over to take Nick to school for me.
Mom had called me before she left her house saying she had gotten an email from paypal and she didn't authorize the payment - I told her I would look into it while she came over. Mom pulled up and Nick was already sitting on the stairs waiting and got into his car seat. I told Mom I would work on her paypal issue while at Kellogg. I got my bags loaded and I was off and Mom and Nick were off. I made it to Kellogg just in time but had to wait for the phlebotomy nurse to give me my draw stickers to go up to see Deb - this took a long time. Deb finally came down and got me and got the stickers.
I wiped off my lidocaine and Deb got to work prepping Plum for the butterfly needle and coverings. Deb drew my blood and sent me on my way upstairs for my appointment with Margaret and Dr. Marsh. I filled them in an any side effects and symptoms I had from the last infusion - they both were surprised at my lack of symptoms and side effects. My one blood test was back and my white blood count had increase dramatically to 7.5 but we needed to wait on my platelet count. I was sent back downstairs to the treatment room to wait for the results. It took forever - I was able to read through 2 magazines and go and get a cup of hot cocoa before Deb came in to un-hook me and send me home. My platelet count was 80 and normal range is 150-400 - I needed it to be 100 to go through with the infusion today. Basically the risk is bleeding out - my blood platelets are too depleted right now and don't have the ability to clot. My potassium level was also too low and I am now the proud patient of a horse sized potassium pill that has very weird warnings - take with food, stand up for at least 30 minutes after taking it.
I got my prescriptions and was on my way home timed just right to meet Mom and Nick. Mom and Nick stopped by the grocery store after pick up to get dinner makings for tonight. We had lunch together and then Nick played play-doh for a while. Mom figured out her paypal issue while I was at Kellogg. We went on the couch and all cuddles up and Mom and I were able to doze off for a bit while Nick ate some donut holes and watched Olivia. We got our coats on to get Ellie off the bus and then we all played play-doh and we made some ornaments out of the play-doh - we will see how they turn out. Mom was nice and sewed a couple buttons back onto one of my new sweaters.
Mom and Ellie started peeling and cutting the apples for apple-cranberry sauce and Nick played with his trucks. Mom made dinner for us - chicken bake, apple-cranberry sauce and corn pudding - plus we had the spanikopita I had made from lunch. I tried to occupy the kids with art studio and wii - worked for a bit. Mom finished and I told her to take half home with her for dinner but she insisted it was just enough for us. Mom left and we had dinner - it was so nice and warm and a good combo together.
We took the kids up for their baths and Rob brought up the laundry baskets for me so I could begin putting away. I got all the laundry done and Rob started reading Nick a couple books. Ellie read a couple, too. I went and took my huge horse pill and then went and stood downstairs playing on the computer. Ellie came down and joined me and we waited to hear Rob's footsteps. I hung a strand of twinkle star lights int he back room and Rob found a extension cord and plugged them in - I feel so festive now. I am sort of happy that the infusion didn't happen today - I have a cold and I have some special happenings this weekend that I want to be well for - on the other hand next week I have Ellie's holiday concert. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, an increase in my platelets and potassium and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Busy Monday

Last night Rob went up and I stayed up and watched crappy Sunday night tv until around midnight and then I figured I should go upstairs. I was so happy Rob set the alarm because all of us slept in - I had to wake Ellie up (2nd day in a row). Nick slept in for about 15 more minutes and then started his yelling. We all had breakfast and then I needed to make sure Ellie was ready for school and her back pack was cleaned out - I packed her lunch and a cup of tea. I watched her get on the bus and then got our clothes for the day and Nick and I got dressed. I packed my last two packages to be shipped from ebay - woohoo - now to get this weeks items listed.
Nick and I went for our days (very productive) adventure. We started at the post office and mailed our packages and then went to Constructive Playthings to return what I bought last week because I was able to buy double the quantity for the same price online. We then stopped at Salvation Army - huge success. I decided to look through women's sweater - which I never do there because I usually have the two kids and they just aggravate each other but with just Nick today it was okay. I ended up with 5 sweaters, a wool jacket and 3 shirts for Ellie (one GOTR long sleeve from a previous 5K and one sweat wicking long sleeve and a Niles West preschool sweatshirt - too funny what you can find at Salvation) all for under $20.00. We hit Walgreens - Nick wanted his own Christmas tree in his room this year - Ellie has this 3' fiber optic tree that she has in her room and I found that Walgreens had them on sale this week.
We went to Target and had a quick lunch and picked up some essentials - bread, wipes, claritin (now that I found out is might help with the bone pain from the neulasta) and paper towels. We were shopped out but stopped by Menards to look at their wreaths they had on sale - I got the nicest (cheapest) wreaths last year and cannot for the life of me remember where I got them - it wasn't Menards. We came home and un-loaded, I got to work on more loads of laundry (I swear it procreates in our house) and then I went to work on cyber Monday. I think I finished Christmas shopping for the kids today - I hit the American Girl site and picked up a couple doll outfits an outfit for Ellie and a few art kits.
We got Ellie from the bus and we all went downstairs to play - I did wii for a while with both Ellie and Nick with their own games, I set up Ellie's old fisher price art studio up on the computer for Nick (and Ellie). They played dollhouse, piano and art. Rob got home and I finished some more laundry before starting dinner. It had started to rain and I didn't feel like going out so I searched through the freezer and found chicken gyoza, chicken tenders and we had the leftover corn pudding and I added some fresh fruit. It was a good dinner because I needed to put nothing away. I took a nice, long shower because I won't get to shower again until Thursday - can't get the pump or tubing wet.
Bad news - I officially think I have a cold - my nose will not stop running and the sore throat is still present. I have upped my vitamin C and still am taking my homeopathic flu pellets. I really feel accomplished today and I am not too worse for wear. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, another unremarkable chemotherapy infusion and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Back home

I stayed up until a bit after midnight before I tried to go to sleep last night and I was able to fall asleep without too much trouble. Rob got up early but Nick and I were up around 8 and I woke Ellie up around 9 - I might have to look into those room darkening curtains because the bedroom was pitch black at 9. Nick and Tony played while Jo, Ole, Rob and I talked in their living room. I started to pack up all our clothes and toiletries - I got the kids dressed for the day.
We went next door to Mom and Dad's to try to take our Christmas picture - I thought it would be more successful in the room than in the front lobby - as is Nick wouldn't participate. We got a couple pictures we will see how they look on the computer and not a 2" display. We packed up our cars and were on our way to La Estacion. The kids drove with Mom and Dad and apparently when we turned in front of the restaurant the boys both began saying that this is where they wanted to go. We had an awesome brunch - a bit of something for everyone. We lucked out and the train store across the street was open this morning and we were able to go in after brunch. Rob and I were able to make a couple Christmas purchases without Nick seeing and Mom and Dad got a couple things too.
We all got in our cars and were traveling back home - the kids staying in Mom and Dad's car. We had a nice sunny car ride home - stopping for gas just over the border into Illinois and Jo and Ole took Tony back and were on their way home. Mom, Dad and the kids met us back at home. We un-packed the car - I got to work on the first load of laundry and Dad and Nick played with the trains. Mom and Ellie helped me change Scarlett out - I was thankful the irritation has really gone away and there was no further irritation underneath. Rob and I hung the strand of extra snowflake lights I bought - they look even now. Mom and Dad left and the kids went downstairs to play.
I think Ellie and Nick played a bit of everything this afternoon - dollhouse, music, art, wii... Rob got the bath ready for the kids - Ellie went first and Nick and I played High School Musical wii together and then Nick went up for a bath and Ellie went to play wii. We each had some leftovers for dinner - we weren't rally hungry still from brunch. Nick asked to watch Cars and we told him he could only watch for a bit and sure enough when we turned it off he was ok with that. Rob and i took him up for bed and I tucked him in and came down to cuddle with Ellie - she knows she only gets tonight and tomorrow and then we can't snuggle until the disconnect on Thursday. Ellie went up when she heard Rob walking and here I sit blogging.
I have such a sore throat and I am not sure if it is sickness coming on (noooooooo) or just dry hotel air or some sort of a combo. I have had a non stop mug of tea going since we got home. I plan on doing some cyber shopping - still trying to figure out what we are getting for Ellie. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Shopping Sunny Saturday

Well, I tired the early to bed thing last night - going to bed around 11 - stayed up and watched the clock til about midnight and then our room was totally way too warm. We all slept in until around 8AM and then got ready for our day. The hotel offered a cooked to order breakfast so we all went down around 9AM. It was good and fast - we made our plans while eating breakfast. The one guy working on replenishing the buffet breakfast supplies was totally disgruntled.
We packed into two cars and were on our way to the Lang Store Outlet and Half Price Books. No huge bargains at either place but I did find Thomas themed English crackers for some fun at Christmas. Next door to Half Price was this store called Small Stones and it was a health related book/gift store. I got a plaque for our house with a nice saying, a Christmas gift for a friend and I found queasy pops in the cancer section. I am sure they are similar to preggie pops but for $3.00 I thought I would take a chance they they'll come in handy at some point.
We stopped and got a gas refill in the cars and a hot drink for the road - yummy hershey's devil food cake hot cocoa with whipped cream. We were on our way to the outlet mall in hope of some deals. We scored at Bath & Body Works Outlet - a couple 75% racks and then just good sales. Mom found some very cute outfits for the kids at Gymboree for Christmas. Crocs store was another great score - most every style was buy one get one free - all the kids and Jo found shoes and jibbitz to put in them. Ole found his gym shoes but don't really look like gym shoe shoes - don't ask. We were outlet mall pooped out and left and got a snack at Culver's before venturing back to the hotel.
On the way back we stopped at this darling market that had serious samples - it seems like they had samples of about 60% of their items available - which just leads to purchases when you are hungry. They had some very tasty Wisconsin cheeses and sausages (at least that is what the meat eaters said). We came back to the hotel and everyone got dressed for the pool (except Mom and me) and they headed down for some swim time. Jo, Ole and Tony were the first back up saying it was freezing. It took my bunch and Dad about another 45 minutes to come up. Mom came into our room (we have three rooms all next to each other and ours is the middle room connected to Jo's room). My gang came back and I gave Nick a mini bath before getting him in his pjs - Ellie got hers on too.
It was the manager's reception time so a few of us went down for appetizers and drinks - we found out tonight that the drinks offered were full bar and not just wine and beer. We came back up to the room and we were going to order in Outback for dinner - the restaurant was in the next parking lot over. We placed our order and Rob and Ole had made friends with the bartender and found out there wasn't a drink limit and just kept on going back for more. Dad and I went to pick up dinner and we brought it back except somehow when changing a side around Mom's order didn't get imputed so we walked back and picker Mom's up.
Everyone ate quietly and nicely for a make-shift dining experience but the food was good and a bit different than we normally have. After dinner the kids went down for their evening milk and cookie run and we had family movie night - Elf was on. It always amazes me how funny certain parts of that movie are - I especially like the part when Buddy finds out Santa is coming tomorrow.
The little boys strayed and were playing with trains and at about 9:20 I asked Nick if he wanted to cuddle and he said yes so I put him to sleep. I got back out just to see the end of the movie and say goodnight to Jo and Tony. Rob went to bed with Ellie and Mom and Dad left. I am sitting watching SNL and blogging. We are going to our favorite Mexican restaurant for brunch tomorrow morning - La Estacion - it is in an old train station and beside real train tracks - they actually have converted two passenger cars into seating - anyways - delicious food. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me- whomever that shall be, Tree

Wisconsin - woohoo

I tired my best to get up to bed early last night knowing we were trying to be up and out early this morning but chemo brain kicks in and I think I made it up around 2AM. I know Nick crawled into our bed at 6AM and Rob crawled out. Rob did his black Friday shopping at Home Depot while the rest of us slept. I tried to get onto the Toys r Us website last night and it was so slow I just forgot about it.
We were all up by 8AM and had a bit to eat - I ran to the post office to mail off my ebay packages and picked up some breakfast on the way home. We packed up the car and were on our way to Mom and Dad's to caravan our way out of town. The ride up was uneventful and we tried to begin our adventures at the Children's Museum but there was only meter parking and between the 3 cars and the price per 10 minutes we decided to start at the Milwaukee Public Museum - similar to Field Museum. We walked through the exhibits but the highlights were the old town candy store and the butterfly exhibit - similar to Notebart but way better. Ole was the first to catch a butterfly but it was only a matter of time before we all had them. They were beautiful and the boys didn't know what to think about them being so close. We walked through the dinosaurs and then the continents before we had definitely had enough and decided to call it a day.
Mom wanted to hit Penzey's - a Milwaukee area spice company - UB had given us a couple bottles of their spices and they were wonderful. Thanks to GPS we were routed to Penzey's and collected out fair share of spices. We checked into the hotel and gave the kids a bit of time to dance and giggle out all their silliness. We went down to the manager's reception and had some snacks and cocktails - the hotel has decorated Christmas trees throughout and we were able to sit right beside one.
We picked up our jackets and though we would walk across the parking lot to Champs for dinner but there was an hour wait - we ended up at an empty restaurant for a quick dinner and then off to Blain's Farm and Fleet. We don't have Farm and Fleet's by us so its always a thrill, however, there was very little clearance there. I did find the crayola set I was looking for there for Ellie for Christmas - I had Rob pay for it and hide it in the car before she noticed. We found some quirky stuff - sock monkey led mini-snowglobes.
We came back to the hotel - the kids and Rob went swimming, I had a glass of wine with Mom and Dad and Jo and Ole put Tony to sleep. On the way up for ice swimming (apparently the pool water was pretty cold) they stopped at the front desk for milk and cookies - pretty cute. We got the kids switched out to pjs and got their vitamins and off to bed they went. Rob and I are sitting in the living room section of our room watching tv. I realized that Scarlett had a fitting error last night when she changed - she was dressed about 1 1/2" too high and it was quite painful today - thankfully, I was able to adjust and re-stick the adhesive.
We ran into Walgreens to pick up band-aids just in case the adhesive doesn't stay stuck and I found they had snowflakes lights not too different from ours on sale and we got some refreshments for the weekend. I know this is out of sequence but this won't let me cut and paste and I quite frankly don't feel like re-typing it again. No big plans for the rest of the weekend - we have some ideas out there. Visualising me healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Thanksgiving

I think I went up to bed around 1AM but chemo brain has hit and it might have been later. I promised the kids pancakes for breakfast and I didn't break my promise. We all woke up around 8AM and Rob started the coffee and I made banana chocolate chip pancakes - I even made Ellie one that I thought looked like a turkey - she just thought it was a double pancake though. We watched the State Street parade on tv and I was so excited to hear/see ETHS marching band in the parade - we never did anything local (except 4th of July) we went to Canada and Disney for parades - nothing local. They had new snazzy uniforms - it was neat. We rotated in and out of the bathtub with baths and showers.
I got clothes out that I though would fit - I kind of have my standard Thanksgiving outfit with slight variation every year - a sweater vest, a long sleeved shirt under and either pants or a skirt - well I recycled the skirt this past summer to Salvation because it literally fell off me and the pants - let's just say it would have been the perfect opportunity for a belt today. Well, we were off to church and we got there just in time to find the last row un-occupied. The kids were very good through the service and it was a lovely service - much to be thankful for this year.
We went to the GGs house for Thanksgiving lunch - it was great to see and visit with UB, Uncle Bill and the GGs - as well as Mom and Dad, Jo, Ole and Tony. Nick was a hoot this morning - he decided he wanted to bring his trains with him and asked to call JoJo to ask Tony to bring his trains too. The boys played with their trains in the front window while the finishing touches were put on lunch. Grandma GG put out quite a spread - there was something for everyone - sweet and mashed potatoes, broccoli and cauliflower, tortellini, cranberry sauce, turkey, pork and steak - Mom bought salad, corn pudding and cranberry sauce. We all just ate and ate - Nick had 3 helpings of corn pudding and I re-filled with mashed potatoes a few times, too. I tired a glass of wine today - tasted good and it wasn't too cold.
Jo and I went downstairs with the kids while the table changed over from lunch to dessert. Ellie played office and piano, Nick played on Grandpa GG's HAM radio and Tony and I played Where's TT? The GG's have a central arrangement of desks/furniture in their basement that you can go around so Tony would chase me and then I would hide somewhere and he's find me and grab me and say "gotcha." We sat back down for dessert - cannoli cake, cannoli, pumpkin and apple pies - yummy! The big thing for all the kids and Jo is the fight for who gets the flowers from the top of the cake - I think they got evenly dispensed today. After dessert we were once again entertained by the kids. Jo, Ole and Tony left to go to his families house - I am thankful we have no round 2 today. Ellie and Nick came into the living room and entertained us for some time - I think Nick has picked up too many tricks while seeing the circus - Rob bends down and nick jumps over his back and into a somersault then Rob does a V shape and Nick does a somersault under - it looked rehearsed - should I be scared?
We got some time to visit with the GG's and UB while the kids continued to entertain but eventually UB had to leave to make the trek back up North. Mom and Dad said they would drive Ellie home so we headed home with Nick. I finished the laundry and started to get things ready to pack. Rob worked with Nick attaching a couple more pieces of track to the set. Mom, Dad and Ellie arrived home and Dad really helped Nick get the train on track and running - he was reminded that the train used to make noise - so the quest for a 9v battery started. The train makes noise again -great! Mom and Ellie helped me change Scarlett out - Nick peeked in and told me my owie was getting better that it was almost all gone.
Mom and Dad left to go home and get their packing done and I decided to make some treats for the trip - chocolate chip peanut butter cookies, regular chocolate chip and mini blueberry muffins. Someone is always hungry at the weirdest times when we go away so these provide a little something to eat. While the butter was softening I downloaded some music to my iPod - I even included some Back Street Boys and NKOTB for Rob - he was so inspired by their reunion on the AMAs the other night. Ellie and I got the cookies together and then Nick joined us for the second batch. Mom called to let us know Curios George holiday special was on - so I lost my cookie companions and I made the muffins on my own.
I went up to pack - I'll tell you packing for 4 is hard enough but now I need to think of all the extras I need to take for me - biotene toothpaste, Scarlett change, medications and vitamins. I think I got everything we need - I packed the kids in their own bags and Rob and I in ours. I put Nick to sleep tonight and Rob read with Ellie. I am sitting on the couch blogging and thinking about the potential advantage I might have to crazy midnight madness. I don;t think I am going out in all seriousness - I think I would be more apt to go online and pay shipping than fight the crowds and the cold.
Well, tomorrow morning we will be off on the fall family frolic - I mean trip. We are headed to Brookfield, WI and really have no plans - some ideas but no agenda. I am looking forward to getting away for the weekend . Hope everyone had a most excellent day. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Tangled, twisted and clean

Chemo brain set in and I have no idea what I did last night after Rob went up to bed or when I actually made it up to bed - nothing memorable - obviously. The kids and Rob were up first - I slept in a bit. We still had no plans for the day and thought about possibilities while having our coffee. We read the paper while the kids played downstairs and then the idea came to me - Tangled opened today.
I went downstairs with the one mission of packing up the items that needed to be mailed from my ebay auctions and 4 hours later both closets in the basement and a couple drawers are completely clean, organized and wow. I went through all my clothing rubbermaids and made some realistic decisions - I donated about half the remaining was sorted by size and label. I took apart every box in the closet and really got everything sorted. Hearing from Ellie's teacher, Mrs. Bart, the other evening that Ellie is her organizer - I put her to work today.
We got dressed and got out the door just in time to grab a quick bite to eat before going to the movie theatre. I looked up the showtime online and didn't realize until we got there that we were seeing it in 3D.
We got there early and the theatre was packed - we were in the highest row - which is our usual preference. Nick didn't like wearing his glasses so he watched almost the entire movie without them - if you've never seen a 3D movie without the glasses - it is fuzzy. The movie was great and even funnier than the movie was hearing the other kids in the theatre. There was a few kids who thought certain things were funny and they had the best laughs - there was a little boy next to me who was very vocal. He made a loud ouch when the evil woman fell from the balcony - it was hilarious.
We came out and it was raining so we ran into the parking lot. We came home and split up - I took the kids and went to Target and Rob ran our folding table over to the GG's house for lunch tomorrow. I was bummed - our Target didn't have anymore of my snowflake lights but I did get the guy at the service desk to refund the difference in the pj's I bought last weekend that went on sale this week. We came home and I had promised the kids that we could take out the Christmas train if they were good - we haven't had it out in probably 4 years now.
Rob's friend came over to help him move some heavier stuff from his car into the garage. I put a couple pizzas into the oven and then Ellie and I put cinnamon rolls and cookies in. I got a call from a very old friend who has spent the last year in a very similar place as me. We caught up and she gave me some helpful tips for chemotherapy - sharing the claritin trick that the one nurse told me about for the bone pain from the nuelasta. We had some good laughs and are making it a goal to get together before the end of the year.
It seems like it took forever to get the kids to sleep tonight - well, actually just Nick. I am tired - it was a productive day - I feel so in control of my closets now. I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving tomorrow and get to spend it with their family and friends. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Fabulously normal Tuesday

Stayed up way too late on the couch last night - well I fell asleep on the couch and had to go up when I got too cold. The kiddos nicely let me sleep in a bit later than they did this morning. I got them breakfast when I came down and then got clothes out for the rather chilly day. For the past few years we've gone downtown with Mom and Dad to look at the windows at Macy's and have lunch in the Walnut room - today was the day and it felt (dare I say?) normal. I wish I warmed the car up but we were on our way to Mom and Dad's.
Dad drove down and we got to enjoy the sights - Nick liked looking out a different side of the car - he is usually behind the drivers seat and today he was behind the passengers. We parked and decided to go for lunch first and try to beat the crowds - and we did - no wait at all and a beautiful table right by the tree. On our way to the restaurant we stopped by the giant red "believe" mailbox and Ellie mailed off her wish list to Santa. It was cozy and warm and the tree was spark-tacular. I love how the wait staff always treat the kids to majestically. We ordered - I always get the chicken salad but cannot because of Scarlett doesn't do so well with the pecans and celery. I tried their pasta special which was a delicious pesto penne with parmesan cream - yummy. We all enjoyed their pretzel rolls - Nick and Ellie requested seconds. Ellie and Nick were very much on their best little lady and gentlemen behavior. Ellie took pictures with Dad's camera and Nick took pictures with mine - I have to say both of them are really getting good - digital cameras make picture taking so much easier.
We finished lunch and ordered dessert - the kids got these snowman sundaes that were adorable and they had such fun eating them. I tried the ice water and it still feels like I am swallowing razor blades - I guess a couple more days of tea. We finished and went up a floor to look at the tree from the next level and got a couple pictures and then were on our way to the toy department which is seriously the biggest rip off ever. Mom wanted to treat the kids to something (and toys were definitely not happening) so we ended up in the clothing department. We had such a fun time trying on these knit animal hats - Nick ended up with a monkey and Tony got a bear. We found a t-shirt with knit hat combo for Ellie.
All the signs show that Santa is arriving on the 26th, however, when we were walking through the clothing department Ellie saw an elf and asked about Santa and sure enough he was there. I asked about the wait time and the elf said it wasn't bad - probably no longer than 25 minutes. I had a full tummy and the store was hot and I couldn't stand in a line I couldn't get out of but Dad volunteered to take the kids while Mom and I shopped. Mom and I looked around and found a couple other things and got in line - the slowest line ever. It was pretty cute, in front of us was a Grandpa with two Granddaughters and he was treating them to dresses and coats but both girls had purses and the littler one pulled out her wallet to try and pay. Seriously, this cashier was the model for in-efficiency. We finally got to the counter and she rang through 1 item and then stopped to collect her hangers off the back counter and then answered the ringing phone, then organized another area and then finally came back to us and it took almost 5 minutes to ring through our 6 remaining items.
We found Dad and the kids coming through the aisle as we were leaving the counter. Apparently, Nick freaked out as they made it through Santaland and to Santa - a la the screaming, shreaky kid from Christmas Story. We made our way out to State Street to look at the windows - even though the sun was shining today it was freezing out and the windows were remarkably - unremarkable. Dad ran ahead to pick up some Garretts brown and yellow (Chicago mix) popcorn because we made it about 5 feet from the parking garage and Nick smelled the popcorn in the air - that boy has an incredible sense of smell. We made it back to the car and I tried to convince everyone the popcorn would be a better snack at home but it made its way into the car and the cheese popcorn instantly dyed the kids fingers yellow.
We went back to Mom and Dad's and Mom and I put our feet up while Dad and the kids started to assemble the Christmas train layout - the Hogwarts express. I fell asleep for a while - I got all nice and warm with the blanket on top of me and awoke to warm cinnamon rolls. We stayed for a bit longer and then headed home - what a great, normal day. Interjecting the history of the day to say - Bristol and Mark just got kicked off - woohoo - finally.
We arrived home the same time as Rob and we talked about doing a movie night tonight with the sofa bed and found that Ratatouille was on tv - just worked out perfectly. We did an a la carte dinner - we had just had the cinnamon rolls so we weren't too hungry. We all snuggled together on the bed and watched the movie together. Rob got Ellie to sleep and I had nick duty. We are flipping back and forth between Parenthood and the finale of Dancing and Rob just brought me a new cup of tea. Rob is off of work tomorrow and we are trying to figure out something to do with our day together. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, more "normal" days and the new normal me - whomever that shall be - I think I might be on my way, Tree

What a wacky day

I guess the chemo sleep effects only are for a couple days because I was not tired again last night. I watched 190 North and then the Sister Wives special - Sunday night tv is bad. I still wasn't tired and put on some bad movie and sort of dozed on the couch - I went up around 2:30. It was dark this morning and the wacky weather began pretty much as soon as we got out of bed. The sky really turned dark and then the huge thunder claps and lightening and then the rain. We had breakfast and I got clothes out for the kids - bizarre to think they could be in short sleeves without a coat the week of Thanksgiving.
I decided to drive Ellie to school because I don't like her waiting out for the bus in pouring rain and especially when the lightening is pretty steady. We ran out to the car and we were soaked - of course it down poured every time I needed to get the kids to/from school today. Nick and I came back and we got ready for him to go to school - thankfully the rain slowed down a bit when we needed to get out of the car to go into school. For the first time in a few weeks Nick played "shy" boy and walked behind me into school and cried and didn't want me to leave once we got into school. I was able to pry myself away and he quickly was whisked into activity by one of the girls.
I had a bit of time before my appointment with Dr. Muldoon and the rain had really slowed down - so I stopped into Constructive Playthings to see if I could accomplish any Christmas shopping. It was so nice to go there without the constant plea of a child wanting this or that carnival prize. I hit the clearance aisle and found a couple games and some advent items - Mom and Dad have this advent house they do for the kids every year and Mom and I have been collecting treats for the past couple weeks and we really thought we had 24 treats but Mom counted and was 8 treats shy. I found ice cream holders that spin - they are like a plastic cone but spinning. I found some party goods that were reduced and would work and then I found the end cap of Dinosaur Train toys - this was what Jo had suggested might be a good thing for Tony for Christmas.
I checked out and was on my way to the hospital. I checked in and my vitals were taken and then I was taken to an exam room. Dr. Muldoon wasn't running too far behind today and I was pleasantly surprised that he only checked out my surgical incisions. My next appointment with him will be scheduled after I finish chemotherapy and we will plan Scarlett's departure. Obviously, a much less complex surgery and a 2-4 day hospital stay. He did use the catch phrase of being down hill and I did inform him that maybe collectively all doctors might need to adjust his assessment when they are talking to a younger person with young children because I definitely don't feel down hill I feel cross country. To me, each of these phases have been pretty even as far as emotional and physical stress to my body. Certainly this first round of chemo went surprisingly well and I can only hope they continue to go this smooth but if they don't I don't think they will be very down hill-ish.
I had arranged for Mom and Dad to pick Nick up from school just in case Dr. Muldoon was running late and we had planned to meet up at our house. Mom called me on their way here to place Nick's order for hot chocolate so I got to work on that. We picked up lunch and ate together - Nick originally said he wasn't hungry but Gramps could get him a hot dog and french fries. We had an afternoon of cleaning up and organizing - the theme for the week, I guess. My ebay auctions ended today - not bad a bit over $100 for 8 items and an hour worth of time. I still have a goal for about 10 items a week - after all those rubbermaids are blocking all our Christmas decorations for inside the house.
Dad and Ellie walked down to get Ellie - it had just begun to drizzle. It is nice - our school pairs conferences with Thanksgiving break so this was Ellie's last day of school for the week. This afternoon was Ellie's GOTR post-season party so I packed her popcorn and cookies to take with her to the party. I ran her back to school and the rain was steadily coming down - Mom and Dad nicely stayed so I could drop and pick Ellie back up from school without having to take Nick out in the rain. Mom and I changed Scarlett out - I am excited that I think she is her permanent size and I can order pre-cut wafers next time and it will save us a little bit of time. When I ran back to get Ellie it was down right pouring again - I was able to double park in front and wave to Ms. Doolas and Ellie ran out to the car.
Mom and Dad left in the worst deluge of the day - I offered an umbrella but they said they didn't need it - Mom let out little screams as she made her way to the car - apparently wet enough to ring the water from their clothes. Rob came home and the kids played for a while - Ellie read her library books she had checked out today. I made dinner and we had dinner together - Nick made a weird combo of peach yogurt with apple cranberry sauce infused - what can I say - he ate it all. I got Ellie set up for a shower while Nick played with his trains. Rob hopped in after Ellie and then Nick took a bath.
We dried Ellie's hair and then we quietly went out the back door to go for Ellie's conference at school. I know it is a parent teacher conference but I like having Ellie there in case something comes up that she could comment on - unfortunately this year there were probably lots of things adults needed to comment on. Mrs. Kelly - another 3rd grade teacher came over and asked Ellie if she would like to come into her room to play on the computer and Ellie gladly took her up on her offer. Mrs. Bart went over all the mumbo jumbo tests - hey Rob and I were both average learners and had our share of learning troubles so I would be terribly surprised if our genetic code didn't transfer down. We discussed all the academic things and then moved onto the emotional things. Ellie is still very anxious in school which somehow gets worked out by either cleaning or organizing or helping out - which we could get those effect to come home with her. I talked to Mrs. Bart about the hormonal migraine issue and she did say last week was quite a week - I also talked about how it was my first infusion and we were working with a bucket full of un-knowns - which isn't Ellie's strong suit. Luckily, Ms. Doolas is well aware of the situation and there is a standing arrangement for Ellie to be able to go help the pre-school teacher. I left realizing I need to let Ellie be Ellie and I need to zap some of the stress out of her life. Ellie was so thrilled when she saw a commercial for Winter Wipeout - probably just what she needs.
We came home from school and Rob had already had Nick asleep - we shared Ellie's conference folder with Rob (and Ellie). We are proud of our Ellie. I did a mini manicure on her nails and we worked on her big toes callus. We watched the last part of Dancing with the Stars and then the first couple minutes of Skating - not my thing. Rob took Ellie up to bed and here I am. I got a call from Margaret this evening checking in to see how I did last week. Although tylenol should be my drug of choice she said I could occasionally take advil. I asked her about liver cleaning since that is really one of the areas the chemo attacks and she said we can talk about organ cleaning and de-tox after chemo is finished - for right now we are going to let the chemo fully attack my body.
I did find out tongued that my Dinosaur Train buy this morning wasn't such a good buy - I will be returning - I re-bought the same and a couple more cars for the same price online. I am so excited about tomorrow - Mom, Dad, Ellie, Nick and I are going downtown to see the windows and have lunch in the Walnut room and the kids mail their postcards to Santa in Macy's huge red mailbox. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, a nice week and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

So long Sunday

Back in the old patterns last night - I was not tired and stayed up until 2AM before I made it upstairs to bed. I have decided maybe I need to alternate nights in bed with nights on the couch - while my legs seem to hurt on the couch, my back aches in bed. Rob and Ellie were up when nick woke up - I opened the gate so he could go downstairs and then climbed back into bed and slept until Rob came up at 8:30 to get clothes ready for church. I let Rob take the kids this morning and I had a bowl of coffee and read the paper on no schedule.
I got motivates and tried my new vacuum and I love it - I guess you never really know how bad your vacuum is until you get one that is magnificent. I was so thrilled with it that I vacuumed the entire first floor. Rob stopped by Home Depot on the way back home and picked up some foam insulation pieces to put around the bottom of the doors to keep the air from sneaking in. I had just started cleaning out the front closet when they came home - it was literally vomiting shoes, gloves and coats into the living room.
Ellie helped as we pulled out all the coats and shoes - Ellie and Rob started pairing the shoes up. I was able to bag up a few coats and shoes for Salvation and we were able to better organize the closet for winter. I washed all our winter coats to freshen them up and all of the gloves are paired up - I created a bin for Ellie and one for Nick and one for Rob and me - I hope this works out. I started the laundry going because there were quite a few coats to wash. We had lunch and the kids played with each other until the screaming started - everyone was on every ones last nerve today which is never good.
We took advantage of the awesome weather and put our Christmas lights out today. Ellie and Nick came out with Rob and I and Rob got the ladder out to string the snowflake lights across the second floor - I need to pick up another box of them because they don't quite stretch all the way across. I strung up our red and green twinkle lights but seeing them lit tonight I think we need more. We came in after the lights were done and Ellie went downstairs to play with Nick and I took the new vacuum downstairs to clean - it really is great. Rob played lego trains with Nick so that Ellie could play in her dollhouse without interruption.
Eventually, Nick ended up in the back room with me because he was having difficulty respecting Ellie's stuff today. We had some snuggle time and he calmed down - Ellie ended up watching Cinderella. I kept the laundry going and now all our coats are clean, dry and hanging in the newly organized closet. We went over to Mom and Dad's house for dinner - we were ordering in El Famous. I have to say - after about half a dozen salsa containers - I think I have burned the aches from my throat. We had a good dinner - everyone ate (for a change) Ellie even tried an avocado taco and liked it.
We had some dessert -it has been a difficult couple days for Ellie - we are trying some preventative migraine stuff out (and it seems to be working) - we are limiting caffeine and chocolate and she has been taking ibuprofen in the evening - anyhow, the chocolate limiting has been rough because most women know it is something you do generally crave. We said our goodbyes and headed home - we did vitamins, brushed teeth got pj's on and then Ellie read to Rob while I read to Nick.
Rob put Nick to sleep and Ellie and I cuddled and watched the American Music Awards. Ellie just went up and I am here blogging and sipping my tea - still can't do cold beverages. The body aches haven't really improved any today. I think my back is actually way worse today. Believe it or not I have my 10 week follow up appointment appointment with Dr. Muldoon tomorrow - it in some ways doesn't seem like that long ago and in other ways it feels like years ago. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body, a nice and easy week and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Shopping Saturday

I was so tired last night and had such a splitting headaches that the light from the tv was hurting me - I called it a night around 10:00 and went up to bed - did you hear that - I slept in our bed last night - all night. Rob was nice and let me fall into a deep sleep before he ventured up - I didn't even know he came in - I guess we kind of traded places last night. The bed felt good on all my aching parts and it was so quiet in our room compared to down in the back room. Nick was the first up followed by Rob and then Ellie - I slept in until 8:00. I had asked Jo yesterday if she felt like going to Target today and she said she would let me know in the morning - she said yes.
Rob was busy doing a couple jobs today so we had the entire day to play - we got dressed and then went to pick up Jo and Tony. I had a 10% off to use at Target so we decided to leave Cook County and venture North so that the coupon was more than just tax - we were on our way to the Vernon Hills Target. On the way out we hit the Popcorn Factory and got some car snacks and bribery - I found white cheddar popcorn reduced to 6 big bags for $5.00 - this would be the favorite flavor in our house and it isn't as messy as the regular cheddar. We got to Target and it seemed like we shopped forever - I was able to pick Nick up footie pjs in the next size and some new shoes. I got a replacement vacuum - Rob was vacuuming about a month ago and rolled over a sock and the vacuum hasn't sucked the same since. I found snowflake lights to hang outside - this was the closest thing that I have seen to what I was envisioning. The boys were in meltdown mode - so we checked out and pulled through Wendy's to pick up so lunch thinking that food might help our meltdown situation - not quite.
We filled up at the gas station because gas is so much cheaper in Lake County and then stopped at Ryerson Woods on our way back home. The kids had sat in the car and then the carts long enough so we let them run and see the chickens and hens, goats and sheep and then the owl and hawk. Nick kept falling and losing his crocs and then Tony would imitate him - hysterical. Tony also pulled his Forrest Gump impersonation and when we were ready to go back to the car he took off in the opposite direction. We finally made it back to the car and turned our seat heaters on - it was cold out in the woods. Tony fell asleep in the car and Jo invited us back to her house for a bit.
Ole met us at the car to help carry in and T stayed asleep for a transfer into his bed. Ellie and Nick were delighted to play with Tony's toys and I helped Jo clean out T's toy bins - one of those things you just need to do when the you can. Jo and Ole ordered a couple pizzas and put uploaded Monsters Inc on Netflix and Nick and Ellie ate some popcorn and watched the movie. I took a ride with Jo to Salvation to drop off the toy bin donations and Ole watched the kiddos. A couple pulled in while we were unloading and they were unloading a couch Jo really liked. We came back and Tony woke up a bit later and we stayed so the kids could play with him but by then Nick was all too comfortable with T's toys and sharing became an issue. We said our goodbyes and came home - Rob was here and helped us unload.
I switched loads of laundry and un-loaded our Target bags and rob put together the new vacuum. The kids played with this ginormous box Rob brought home from work and then they had the added vacuum box. Jo sent Nick home with a couple cars and Ellie home with a dvd. We had a leftover dinner while the kids had a picnic and watched the end of Tinkerbell before we turned on the Mag Mile Festival of Lights parade. Rob took nick up to bed and Ellie and I cuddled on the couch while watching food network.
Let's see - today was body aches again with intermittent headaches. I have some tugging pain around Plum. Just when I was pretty sure I had finally said goodbye to the pain in my butt when a door hit it or I used it to shut a door - it is back but I am thinking that might be the neulasta. My throat is sore and I am sure hoping that does not stick around too long - adding some extra honey to my tea. Well, it is hotpad, stretch out, tea time - hope everyone enjoyed their Saturday. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, a laid back Sunday and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

I made it through the week

Last night turned out to be fine after I took the ativan - the nausea subsided and then I was just left with some leg pain. Rob went up and I pretty much went straight to sleep - the thing I noticed was that I couldn't sleep on my side - my hips hurt too much and when I was on my back and pulled my legs up that was also uncomfortable. Perhaps my couch days need to conclude for a couple nights and I need the extra support of our foam mattress topper. I pretty much slept through the night and I heard voices upstairs around 6:30 - I told Rob to just send Nick down.
Nick came down and I made him some breakfast and re-heated my cup of tea. Rob and Ellie came down around 7:00 - Rob had switched shifts with Amy today so he didn't have to be in until 2. Rob got Ellie her breakfast and made us coffee - I got the kids their clothes and we got ready for the day. I made Ellie some tea to go to school with and off to the bus she went. Nick had school today and I wasn't sure how that was going to go because he hasn't been this week and Rob was home but it all went fine.
Rob and I took advantage of the no kid time and tried to do some Christmas shopping. We started at Toys r Us but left with nothing but a few ideas. We went to Walmart and did a mini grocery run and breezed through their toy department. We pulled into Wings resale and pulled right up to Christi's car - great minds think alike (no kids = hit the thrift stores). We walked through the store together and visited - no treasures for us but Christi found a couple things and we found out that it was 50% off everything today. We said goodbye and Rob and I stopped at Big Lots for a quick tea replenishing - I am going through a boatload of tea each day and I needed more variety.
We went to pick Nick up from school and I have to say between his new haircut and his new winter jacket today - I almost didn't recognize him. We went home and Nick had requested a trip to Grams to play but we needed to unload the groceries first. I had found a tiny package behind the front door - Mrs. B had left me a chocolate croissant from the bakery - yum. Well in the process of unloading Nick found his balloon from Kidsnips yesterday and pretty much as soon as he got it out of the car the wind took it away - inconsolable crying. I finally got him to settle down and I showed him that the wind had whisked it beyond our neighbors tree and it was gone. We had some lunch and then Nick and I went to Mom's for a bit.
The biggest thing I have noticed is that I am constantly tired and I am kind of unaware of it. I will sit down and before I realized it I am snoozing away - did that at Mom's today. We stayed until it was about time to pick up Ellie from the bus. Nick found his balloon in the tree on the corner and will probably try to convince Rob to try to get it down tomorrow. We all cuddled up on the couch and watched tv - Ellie got us all a snack and we just relaxed.
Ellie was going to go to Rob's school tonight to help out taping the jazz concert and just to have a special night out so we decided to go for an early dinner. We went to Red Robin's and had a great dinner and got replacement balloons afterwards. Nick was not really happy that Ellie was getting to go to Rob's work and not him so I told him we were going to have a special movie night. He picked Cars to watch and we got out pjs on and got under the covers and watched the movie until I felt the weight of him multiply and I knew he had fallen asleep. I carried him up to bed and now I am enjoying the peace of the house.
Exciting news of the day - my email to GOTR was placed on their blog - pretty neat. We are trying to find out if any of the coaches got a good picture of the two of us to go with our story. I think I could fall asleep right now I am yawning and feel pretty worn out. The cold outside did hit me today - I can't explain it but I had to have my mouth and nose covered because of the penetrating cold. My body aches today too - just like Connie said it would - like I have bad arthritis. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, a good weekend and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Pump disconnected - woohoo

Chemo brain has set in and I am not feeling so great right now so this post will be a bit short tonight because I cannot remember the entire day and I am sitting with the garbage can next to me. Highlights from today -I took Nick to get his haircut - he looks so handsome. I was able to get a little shopping done while we were there - added bonus. We went over to Mom's house and Tony and Nick played during the morning and Mom put in Christmas Story for them to watch.
Mom helped me change Scarlett out before I went to Kellogg this afternoon. The disconnect went fine - I was not prepared for the neulasta shot but I figured with my white blood count only at 2.5 they were going to do something to boost it up. I asked some more questions - since I didn't get nauseous this time does that mean I'll be ok every time - no, the chemicals will build up in my body and I will process them differently every infusion. And, I could still get nauseous through the weekend - she predicted that Saturday and Sunday could be my bad days. Will I get this nasty shot every disconnect - probably because chemotherapy kills cells - good, bad - it has no target. The extreme cold sensitivity will apparently get worse as well. The neulasta can give me deep bone pain most likely in my legs and chest that can last a couple days. Oh the joys of chemotherapy. She did tell me to really keep up with my liquids because that just makes all the drugs leave my body quicker and to eat crackers or pretzels with each drink because they will soak up the extra acid in my stomach.
I went back to Mom's and was starting to feel tired and just sort of crappy so I got Nick ready to go - they had just started Polar Express so I promised we could watch it when we came home and Mom sent him home with popcorn. We came home and cuddled up on the couch and watched Polar Express until it was time to get Ellie off the bus. Ellie came in and went downstairs to play while Nick and I finished up the movie. We pulled out the sofa bed and put in another Christmas movie and Ellie made a fresh batch of popcorn and I tried to fall asleep - didn't work until Ellie and Nick both went downstairs to play. I got about 20 minutes in before my body hurt too much to stay in any position. Rob had come home and asked if I wanted him to pick up dinner and I said yes.
We had dinner together and then it was bath night and I took a quick shower to get rid of all the adhesive from the past couple days. I read Nick a couple books and Ellie and Rob worked on math and then it was time for bed. Ellie has been asking to snuggle for the past couple nights but because of the pump I wasn't comfortable so I promised tonight we would have a snuggle fest and we did while we watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Just as Ellie went up to bed my stomach started to not feel so good. I just took my ativan - which has an anti-nausea agent in it so hopefully that will help along with the mint tea. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, the next few days being easy and not nausea ridden and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Day two and not nauseous

I took my zofran with dinner last night and I had the garbage can handy next to the couch waiting for the nausea and vomit to begin and it never did - Hooray! We watched tv and Rob went up during the news - I stayed up and watched Conan and then George Lopez and started watching some food program about pizza - I feel asleep around 12:30 or so - I have decided with the pump it is safer to sleep on the couch because I cannot roll over and cramp the tubing and the pump can't really go anywhere - maybe I will try bed next time around but I just wanted to be safe this time. Around 2:30 I was roused by huge Nick cries - I ran upstairs and he was next to my side of the bed crying. I put him in next to Rob and stayed with him until he feel asleep again then I went back downstairs.
Rob came down first but Ellie and Nick followed shortly thereafter this morning. I took my zofran and waited a bit to eat. I got Ellie's snack ready for school and then I made us some tea. I tried oatmeal and it was just fine in my tummy. Nick and I had no plans for the day - he still is snotty and his voice is off and his eyes don't look great and well - I was seriously awaiting the "sickness" that never happened - hooray again. I caught up on some phonecalls I needed to make and then I ventured downstairs.
Ok, it is time to share...My name is Theresa and I am a collector. When I am out thrifitng it is usually for clothes for the kids but I do buy catalog clothes if I know I can flip them on ebay - well between the flip clothes and the clothing the kids have outgrown - I have about 7 big rubbermaids in the closet downstairs waiting to be flipped. I was really hoping a consignment sale would be closer to home and I could just get a season out but that didn't happen. I told Rob it was going to be my goal to start getting stuff listed - the problem is it just takes time to photograph everything and then list it - it is totally worth it when all is said and done but it drags until then. I photographed about 30 items today and successfully listed 8 - pesky Thanksgiving is in my way because my 7 day auction will end on Tuesday and then people will be out of town or forget they bid on something and I won't get paid until the following week - anyways I think I am going to continue to photograph but not list anymore until next week.
Nick was into a little bit of everything today - he would take a toy out and play with it for a couple minutes and then switch to the next thing. A friend called this afternoon with a couple of her tried and true chemo tips which I appreciated. I guess it is a mixed blessing having Scarlett because one of the big side effects to all these anti-nausea medications is constipation and because Scarlett makes a detour before hitting too much digestion I think that has really helped in that department. Nick and I spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons. I realized that the yogurt that they suggest as a good chemo food isn't so good for the cold effect. A couple spoonfuls in and my teeth hurt so much that I was hitting the counter top in pain. I did buy this really nice looking cowl scarf neck thingy on etsy last night - I bought Ellie a matching one. Nick and I got dressed up warmly and went to get Ellie off the bus but the bus was a bit early and she was already half way home.
Ellie came home and did her spelling and math homework and then she and Nick danced and played. I got a call from the pharmacist at Kellogg checking in to see if the pump was working ok and to check on side effects - she was pretty amazed that I have had no nausea or vomiting. I think I can thank my 2 courses of xeloda because they readied my body - I am use to the 5-FU. I did ask about alcohol and she said that although she wouldn't necessarily have a glass of wine a night the occasional glass wouldn't necessarily harm me - good news. Mom came over and Rob came home not too soon after she arrived. We had another good cool weather dinner - chicken inn broasted chicken and potatoes, Mom made cranberry sauce and squash and apples, fresh berries and watermelon - it was delicious.
Mom and Dad left and Rob put Nick to sleep - he went out very quickly tonight. Rob is up reading to Ellie right now and I am sitting on the couch waiting for the tea pot water to boil. I am hoping the side effects continue to stay away - that would be the most awesome thing in the world. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, this infusion to continue to be free of major side effects and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

First chemo infusion done

As the evening progressed last night I think I became more anxious just of all the unknowns of today. I took my ativan and Rob covered me with a blanket. I watched Conan and George Lopez before drifting off to sleep. I had a very good night I didn't wake up until this morning when everyone came down. I had taken chocolate croissants out last night - they needed to proof overnight to bake this morning - I popped them in for breakfast. Rob was off of work today and I took advantage and jumped in the shower and got dressed in comfy clothing. I got Ellie dressed for school and then Rob and Nick walked her down to the bus.
I got my lunch together - mashed potatoes, applesauce, yogurt and chocolate croissant - I thought even if I was feeling sick these foods normally don't irritate me. Mom made me a special chemo pack with a nice travel pillow and a monkey fleece blanket for all the monkey business I was getting into. - I packed the set up, too. I applied my lidocaine cream and used saran wrap to smooth it over Plum. I grabbed my water bottle and then Rob and Nick drove me to Mom's house - we came up with this plan this morning - this way my car wasn't at Mom's in case I couldn't drive home and then Rob had the car with the car seat. Mom and I pretty much got in the car and went to Kellogg.
I checked in and was told we could wait for my blood draw stickers and then go upstairs. Margaret had told me that they had moved on to the newly finished 2nd floor and the nurse told me to go up. Cory, Margaret's fill in for the week told me I was mis-directed and I needed to go back down to 1 to get my blood draw. I was brought into a treatment room and I was a bit intimidated by the tray of things the nurse, Deb, was getting ready. Deb removed my saran wrap and cleaned the area with a cold antiseptic and then inserted the butterfly needle into Plum and I did not feel it - tiny blessings! Deb connected all tubing and flushed it and then drew blood - easy breezy. I was sent back upstairs to meet with Dr. Marsh. I am happy to report I am back to my original colonoscopy weight. My blood pressure was good but my heart beat a bit elevated. We met with Dr. marsh who briefly went over the possibilities of side effects and he did his usual exam. He had asked about my xeloda experience and sent me back downstairs with positive thoughts.
Deb met us in the hall and brought us back to the treatment room -nothing fancy but a recliner and a tv. I was first infused with zofran and another anti-nausea drug and then the folinic acid and oxalipatin - I was told by Cory that they would be infused separately over 2 hours each to make sure I wasn't allergic to either of them but Deb hung them both at the same time. Not allergic to either - wonderful news and this took 2 hours off my infusion time. Mom I took the time to plan her menu for her annual ladies get together - we put together a lovely tea menu. I asked Mom if she wanted to work on the Christmas menu but she said it was still to far off. I noticed there was a huge collection of light weight entertainment magazines - People, US and others - so I caught up on gossip and I enjoyed doing some sudoku puzzles and crosswords. Real honestly the time didn't pass as slowly as I thought it was going to.
My friend, Sally, the social worker came in to see how I was doing and if I needed her for anything. The pharmacist, Anna, came in to explain the pump to me and ask if I have any questions. The particular chemotherapy I am on is called Folfox for short and while I get infused with the folinic acid and the oxalipatin while I am at Kellogg - I actually leave with a pump of 5-FU that is attached via Plum for another 46 hours. It is a balloon pump that conveniently fits in a fanny pack and is about the size of a can of pop. I get a small booster dose of 5-FU to finish my infusion at the office. Just as Deb was telling me about the one pesky side effect i was drinking the last bit of water from my cup and it felt at if something was caught in my throat, I took another sip and this time it sort of felt like razor blades. The pesky side effect know as the cold side effect can hit people differently - some it is a feeling of cold, others it is that there throat actually closes from cold - like opening the freezer. I was feeling the pesky side effect with the cold water - I was told to stay away from cold beverages and stick to warm or hot for the next 4-5 days. The pesky cold side effect should be a ton of fun now that winter is around the corner. I was waiting all afternoon for the crappy feeling to begin and it really never did - big blessings. Deb brought me in the informational sheets on each of the different drugs with the top thing to avoid on all three being alcohol. I was not pre-warned about this. I am not an alcoholic but pretty much my one vice in life is my glass of wine with dinner - this stinks. We asked Deb about this and she said it was definitely to avoid but I should talk to Dr. Marsh about it. See, further feeds into my people do not tell me stuff in advance.
We came home and we relaxed on the couch. Rob got Ellie from the bus and she did her homework while Mom was here and then I told everyone I needed to take over the couch and nap. Mom went home and Nick and Ellie went downstairs to play. I napped - for almost 2 hours - so hope this doesn't effect sleep tonight especially because I can't have my glass of wine. I did a bit of google research and it turns out the the folfox puts extra stress on the liver and avoiding alcohol is necessary to not over work it too much. I called Christi as I was making dinner - she had called me this morning to wish me good luck and I was just walking into get my blood drawn. Nick and rob stopped by their house this afternoon for a little play time and for rob to re-measure. Nick and Rob had a busy day at the library, a visit to the GGs, a visit with Chrsti and Susannah and a park. Rob gave the kiddos their bath while I finished up dinner - we had all the makings for loaded nachos and I know everyone eats them so it was perfect.
So far about 10 hours into this first infusion I am feeling most delighted - I can do this if this is the worst of it. I was told to take a zofran with dinner and then another with breakfast - so I know the nausea could still hit me but I am feeling so much better than I had anticipated. Yet another reason I need to get the word out there that yes you can get through this whole cancer diagnosis gracefully and not knocking on deaths door.
I am going to wrap this up - I am sure I am forgetting about something but I have to be honest and this fanny pack pump is getting in the way of me typing without hand cramps. Thank you all for you r positive thoughts, wishes and prayers - look at all this collective energy has done this past week - it blew the rain away for the race and it has made this first round of infusion chemo so much better than I had envisioned - thanks for all the love. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, this first round continually going smooth and un-eventful and the new normal me - whoever that shall be, Tree
PS - See I knew I would forgot something I thought about during the day - aren't I kind of a walking weapon of mass destruction right now? I have this pump with these huge warning stickers that it should only be touched with gloves and it is poison, right. I wonder if this could work as an advantage for black Friday shopping (although I won't have it on then) but I could run into the crowd and yell I am carrying a pack 'o poison and everyone should let me through. I wonder what airport security would do with me right now. They would body scan me an see Scarlett and then Plum - I have a special card for Plum that shows why metal is running into my heart and now the fun pack of poison - I am thinking I would be on the no fly list.

Manic Monday

Well...Rob went up a bit after 10 last night and not too soon after Nick was fiercely crying. I waited to hear footsteps but didn't so I turned off the tv and went upstairs. Nick was still in his room sobbing - apparently, he had a bad dream but I am still not sure. He crawled back into bed and I covered him up and started to sing to him and he broke out in tears again. I took him into our bed and crawled in next to him - this was the unfortunate sleeping arrangement for the night. Nick tossed and turned all night - around midnight he complained about his feet and legs hurting and I thought his footie pjs might have been too tight so we swapped him out into sweats - made no difference. He was thirsty all night and his nose was making noise and then he started coughing. I sleep on the couch and have 24" of space and yet our bed was way too small last night. Ellie woke up around 6 (but we have told her not to go downstairs before 7) so she went back to bed but we were all up around 7.
I fixed Ellie's lunch and got Nick and Ellie breakfast. I had decided not to send Nick to preschool this morning- I don't want him to get another kids sick and I don't need him picking anything else up. We got Ellie dressed and off to the bus and I took a couple minutes to email GOTR to let them know how great Saturday was for both Ellie and me - I got this very touching email back - they may quote me in some of their material. Nick and I went to Mom's house with the goal of grocery shopping - our supplies were running pretty low. Nick played with Gramps train while Mom got ready and I looked up stupid stuff on Dad's iPad. The holiday train will be running on the yellow line on the Wednesday before Christmas - see not so productive internet perusing. We decided to try Lincolnwood Produce - neither of us had been there in a while and it was local versus going out to Mt. Prospect to Garden Fresh. Well, we did end up getting some produce there but much like Fresh Farms a bunch of the produce was too ripe. I asked Mom midway through the store if she was up to a Costco run and she was. We finished at Lincolnwood and went to Costco - it was still sample time which was a good thing. They re-arranged their refrigerated section which could cause some confusion if you were really looking for something in particular. I don't think I was particularly hungry when we went but so much looked extremely good - the chocolate chip muffins, the chocolate croissants, the mini quiche, the alfredo pizza, the asparagus cheese cannelloni...
I was able to pick up some vitamin C chewables and replenish our ibuprofen supply and a check out purchase of a new pair of slippers. We dropped my groceries off at my house and as I unloaded I noticed our across the street neighbor was stealing our leaf pile - that was a first - I guess she is using it as mulch cover for the winter but it was a bit odd. We went to Mom's and ate lunch before we had to head home to get Ellie. Mom loaded some gummy eyeballs and frog legs into Nick's pocket to go home with for him and Ellie. We came home and I took a couple minutes to rake out leaf pile out into the street a bit more and sweep all our stray leaves into the pile. We headed down to pick up Ellie and we came back and watched some tv.
I had bought apples at the produce market to make a big pot of applesauce for the week - so I started peeling and cutting while Ellie played downstairs and Nick played upstairs. Rob came home and the kids played for a bit longer before we all ended up downstairs. I set up our new wireless printer so Ellie can print from her laptop and Rob and I can too. I had to re-configure the area where our existing printer was so that the new one could fit and so could all the other junk we had in there - Success.
I started dinner - chicken , mashed potatoes, applesauce and raspberries and blackberries. Rob had picked up some whipped cream on his way home to top the steaming applesauce. Dinner was enjoyed by us all - it was a good fall meal. I figure they are comforting leftovers for this week. Rob set up Nick's bath but I took over to clean up the bathroom upstairs and put a new liner in the shower - Rob went down to play Just Dance on wii with Ellie. I got Nick out and Rob and I traded places but I only had a couple dances in me - my port becomes annoyed quickly still. Rob took Nick up for bed and Ellie and I had some much needed cuddle time on the couch. Ellie went up a bit later and I was able to get the printer software installed on Ellie and my laptops - woohoo.
Dancing with the Stars was good tonight - it will be interesting to see the results tomorrow night. Rob and I are hanging out on the couch and playing online - Rob installed the printer, too. I am nervous about tomorrow not about the infusion itself but about what side effects I might have and how they will truly make me feel. Will I be nauseous, will I feel cold, will I feel the needle stabbing me? I will happily take my ativan tonight and tomorrow morning as well as slather on my lidocaine. I was told to pack a lunch and I think I have some excellent choices. Rob has the day off tomorrow and he will watch Nick while my Mom comes with me. I was told I will be in a private room anywhere between 5-6 hours.
On a separate note - I got me explanation of benefits from our insurance company today for my ostomy supplies for the month of October - a whooping $700+ dollars. We very luckily have the best insurance ever and have not had to pay but a $50.00 co-pay for my anxiety ridden ER visit the day after diagnosis. I am just amazed at how much things cost - my port surgery was almost $8,000.00 and that didn't include the provider cost. I don't know how people manage without insurance - I am so grateful to District 219s choice in insurance carriers and coverage. Visualising my healthy and continually recovering body, my pain-free and symptom free infusion tomorrow and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Super long Sunday

Rob and I put in a dvd last night and I made it almost all the way through before I was sleeping on the couch - Rob covered me up with the blanket and went up - I should have just followed him but I didn't and slept on the couch. I heard Rob and Ellie come down this morning and waited to get up until I heard Nick yell out. I traded places with Nick and lifted the gate so he could come down and I got into bed and slept in another hour. I had read on craigslist about a couple rummage sales today and decided to do that this morning and Rob went to church.
The kids and I got dressed and traveled out to the sales - the first was at Cancer Wellness center and we picked up a couple sweaters and shirts and Nick found a straw farmers hat. We bought a few raffle tickets - Nick didn't understand the raffle concept and thought we could just take home the pedal car. We went to the sale at Deerfield High and again found a couple clothing items and Nick found a replacement phone for his workshop and Ellie found a Cat in the Cradle and other string trick book. We stopped off at the bakery for a treat - I am happy we have a good local bakery and the one 30 minutes away isn't that good.
We came home and Nick and I watched a video on the couch and Ellie played downstairs. I promised the kids we could take out the Thomas pop up tents today and we did during the afternoon. I did some laundry and put away about 6 loads. Ellie is very excited about her email - I have turned our old laptop over to her so now her yahoo account loads automatically and she doesn't need to login. I figure it is good way to get her to practice spelling and typing.
I had an argument with Ellie this afternoon that led to a timeout and she just laughed at me - oh the tween years are going to be fun. We did a bit of cleaning up in the basement and I went through a pile of papers in the kitchen. We went over to Mom and Dad's for dinner - Mom was trying to clean out some fridge stuff so we had a pre-Thanksgiving dinner. Cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, pasta and turkey with fudgy brownies and ice cream for dessert. We changed Scarlett out - she wasn't all so happy today not sure if it the length of time since the last change or the rubbing yesterday.
We came home and had massive vitamins - Nick has a runny nose and I don't want anyone else to get sick or for him to get worse. Rob started off with Nick and I started with Ellie but we switched about half way through. Rob and I are watching our usual Sunday night tv and I have a tickle in my throat - hmm maybe time for some tea. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Girls on the Run is so much fun

Well in anticipation of the big race this morning I did take 1.5mgs of ativan last night and I think it helped that i was so tried but soon after Rob went up to bed last night I was asleep on the couch. I woke up around 12:30 and went up to bed - Rob had set the alarm for me so I needed to be in bed to hear it. I didn't have the best night of sleep - it was the sleep I get when I know I have something to do the next day - waking up about every 30 minutes to look at the clock. The alarm went off at 6:25 and I was able to sneak out of the bedroom with disrupting to much - Ellie was already up in bed and we did a quick brush of our teeth upstairs and headed down for breakfast and to get dressed. I made us eggs on toasted bagels and I had some cheese on top. We dressed in our layers and got to school just on time.
It was nice, the school arranged for a school bus to drive all the girls and their running biddies down to the race in Bridgeview. Ellie and I sat up front and talked a bit but mostly watched out the window. We were one of the last groups to arrive but we were still on time. Ms. Ortiz, the GOTR sponsor teacher, passed out the girls numbers - all the girls were number 1. I pinned Ellie's number on her t-shirt and we went to find the East Prairie flag - many pictures were taken and the energy was incredible for that early in the morning. We all warmed up together - one of the teachers from the school led the crowd in the warm ups. We made our way to the start line and we counted down from 10 and the race was on.
Ellie was a good sport and we walked together for about the first mile but then we did alternate between walking and jogging - I did the counter pressure on my port. It was inspiring - along the route on every block we passed there were volunteers cheering us on with the GOTR cheer - Girls on the run is so much fun. It was nice to have the miles marked - it was a victory passing each of them. Thank you all for the positive collective blow - the rain held off until we were making our loop into the stadium - we had about 1/4- 1/3 mile left. We ran into the stadium together and then walked the lap around - not enough room to pass people. We finished the race in 51.45 minutes - not too bad a bit over a 17 minute mile. We were given a medal as we finished the race and they were projecting the finish line of the jumbo-tron tv. We all did a slower cool down walk out and got our water and snack bars - there were a number of sponsors there passing out "goodies". Ellie and I walked through and she was able to get a couple things.
By the time we got back to the group flag the rain was pretty steadily coming down and Ms. Ortiz said we could make our way back to the bus. It took longer to make it out of the parking lot than it did to get back home. We had plans to meet up with Mom and Dad for a celebratory lunch - Uncle Bill even joined us. We went to Gullivers and had a very nice lunch and visit. Ellie was super pumped to show off her goodie bag loot and to share our video clips from the day. I was exhausted - I had closed my eyes several times on the bus ride home and was looking forward to taking the sofa bed out for movie time and taking a nap. Which is exactly what we did when we got home.
Nick picked out Mickey's Christmas and we got all the blankets out and cuddled on the couch - Ellie abandoned us to play downstairs and Rob went out to the garage but Nick and I were snuggle bugs. Rob came in and made the kids popcorn and made us some tea. None of us were terribly hungry but I made Ellie a chicken kiev for dinner and Nick had his hot dog from last night. We finished watching their movie and then we got ready for bed - I think Nick is getting sick - he has a stuffy nose and is a bit irritable. Rob is working on a mini video from the video clips I took today and put it to We're All In This Together (Ellie's request for music from High School Musical) - I thought it was an excellent choice. Ellie was so excited to send an email to family with a few pictures from her run.
Rob took Nick up to bed and we might have had major breakthrough tonight - Nick usually stays dry overnight but he woke up and told Rob he had to go to the washroom tonight - that was a first. He will go to the washroom if cued but he has yet to figure out the urge and act on it alone - mini yeah - this could have been a huge day of successes. I ended up putting Nick to sleep and Rob put Ellie to sleep - we both were finished a couple minutes apart.
I don't think I have introduced Plum yet - that is what I am naming my port - Plum. Just as Scarlett is red - well Plum is purple but looking so much better than earlier in the week. I was so thrilled that Plum didn't pop out along the race route today especially when we decided to run. This race was my 2 month goal and I have achieved my gaol - woohoo. My 6 month goal will be to do the Spring race with Ellie in May and run more of it and improve our time. Hopefully in 6 months I will be running without Scarlett and Plum but I will do it with or without them. I am hoping for a good night sleep and hoping that my nap didn't make this impossible. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal me -whomever that shall be (but I am pretty sure I ruled out runner today), Tree