Happy Halloween

I think I need to stop sleeping on the couch and just head up to bed when I am tired but I was up forever last night. I watched Saturday Night live and then some foodtv - went up around 3AM. Nick and Ellie were up early and I got to sleep in AGAIN - wow must be my birthday this week or something. The kids and I stayed home and Rob went to church. Ellie helped me pack trick or treats for our neighbors and family and then I got to work of lego robot man's costume. Rob had painted the parts yesterday and punched out the lego holes but I had to still cut out the head, arms and bottom and seal the back and then find a way to transform the lego into lego robot. Duct tape was the solution - I sealed the back and then applied it to all seams - lego robot complete.
I was able to take a quick shower before we headed to Mom and Dad's for family Sunday. Ellie went as Jasmine from Aladdin and Nick was Harry Potter Lego Robot. Mom put out a wonderful spread fro brunch - all my faves - broccoli cheese quiche, bagels with all the toppings, potato pancakes, fruit salad - it was hard to limit my intakes. Mom had a chocolate chip coffee cake as my birthday cake - how awesome is that? We had a great brunch - the kids ate well and played well - I got some awesome pictures. Ole gave Ellie the crocs he had hand-painted for her - they "are awesome - no one can have them because they aren't at stores." Pretty cool. It was a great Halloween birthday brunch and I felt the love.
We came home for a bit of quiet time before trick or treating - it was half way successful. Ellie did another costume change - Dorothy from Wizard of Oz - but a hipper Dorothy with polka dotted tights and black mary janes and a fleece coat...
We got dressed and I did the first trick or treat run around our block - a couple of our neighbors were home and enjoyed seeing the kids dressed up. All Nick really wanted to do was ring the doorbells but I realized that a bunch of people have doorbells that are like 5' off the ground. We did the block and came home to dump the bags and switch parents. I did home trick or treat while Rob took them to the next block. Switched again but as soon as the sun went down it got cold - my hands were cold and the wind picked up. Nick actually laid down in the middle of the street and said his feet hurt too much to walk anymore - I have to tell you the process of a kid laying down when they are wearing a box is very funny. Ellie was a big help and she carried all of Nick stuff home while I carried him home - we were done trick or treating.
Ellie had fun answering the door and seeing her friends. We stayed here until the doorbell stopped ringing as much and then we left a basket of treats on the porch and went back to Mom's to trick or treat at her neighbors. We started at the Shaw's house - I babysat for their their children and I also worked at their dental office during high school and college. It was wonderful - we got to visit with Meg and Frank and their oldest daughter Stephanie was home - it was great to see what a beautiful lady she has become. We talked until Nick was pulling on my sweater to leave. It is funny what houses the kids ask to visit year after year - Ellie was asking to go to the cat house and I couldn't figure it out until we past it on the way to Mom's. We went to Mom and Dad's neighbors, Katherine (said thanks for the lovely Halloween bags she had made for us) and Carol - she has been Mom and Dad's neighbor as long as I can remember and she always look forward to seeing the kids.
We did a costume change - Nick tried on Tony's Woody costume and Tony tried on Nick's lego robot. It was too funny and they both looked very good in each others costumes. We all snacked on brunch leftovers and us adults had some wine to relax. Mom and kids helped me change Scarlett for Halloween - no she didn't really dress up although Mom really wanted her to carry a trick or treat bag for the day. We said our goodnights and went home - it has been one big adventurous weekend.
We had vitamins, nose/saline spray (Dr. Schaeffer told us we needed to start this up again especially with Nick to keep him well) and inhalers and then pjs and bed. I have pictures of the kids that I would be happy to share with anyone who wants to see them - Rob and I don't post the kids pics online - either to my blog or to facebook. I am enjoying a mug of tea and I am trying to wind down. Ellie has the day off of school tomorrow and we are heading to Navy Pier for the day - I need my energy re-stored. Visualising my healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Yawn - is it time for bed yet?

Once again I think I fell asleep on the couch soon after Rob went up to bed - woke up around 2. Nick woke up around 7 this morning and instead of coming to get us up he went to get Ellie up - poor girl wanted to sleep in. Rob took the kids down and I slept in until 8:30 - woohoo. I talked Ellie into a garage and rummage sale run - success.
At the garage sale we picked up a box of Thomas Duplo blocks - with Cranky - one of the only pieces we didn't have. Ellie got a pair of Ugg boots and a pair of jeans - other score was a wheeled Winnie the Pooh suitcase. We bought Ellie a Snow White wheeled bag about a month ago at a rummage sale and Nick has been so jealous. We also scored at the rummage sale (funny because it isn't one I usually score at). We got a bag full of clothes - some new and a plastic outside gas station for Nick. On the way home we stopped at Junior League and found that all items were 1/2 price today - another bag of clothes and a game for Ellie. It was a great morning - I called from the car to tell Rob to bring Nick out to help - he was so delighted with his gas station and his wheeled suitcase.
We had lunch and then got ready to go to Westminster in Evanston for their Halloween festival - so worth it. The kids began their trip with a trick or treat bag and there were candy stations throughout. They had good old fashioned carnival games, a professional photographer taking pics, a balloon artist, a storyteller, a temporary tattoo artist and a petting zoo - complete with sheep, chickens, llama, cow, pony, ducks, bunny and pig. They had a nice spread of food - the kids loved the cupcakes with a mound of frosting and candy. They got to decorate a pumpkin and take a taffy apple on our way out - so much fun - what a great event.
We came home and re-grouped and decided we had just enough time to do a quick costume change and make it to hear Uncle Joe and Emily play at their church. We were running a bit late but we made it. We had an extra bonus and got to see and visit with Uncle Mike, Tara and Claire, too. Uncle Mike suggested ear plugs and he got us each a pair - apparently it was about to get loud. We stayed for the music and then we had to leave - we were impressed by our family and their musical talents. Uncle Mike walked us out and we were able to say goodbye to Emily and a quick hi/bye to Natalie. It was good to get into fresh air - between holding Nick in his Pooh bear furry costume and being layered myself I had the feeling of passing out and the cold sweats had started. Ellie and Nick got a trick or treat bag and Nick snagged a donut and we went and got some air and I hydrated before we came home.
Change of plans... we stayed home and decorate pumpkins. We decided not to carve this year and just to paint the pumpkins. Nick turned his pumpkin black with finger paints and Ellie carefully painted a face and decorated. Rob got a bath ready and I took Nick up - his poor arm is terrible from his flu shot - besides being black and blue it is like a golf ball coming out from his arm - plus the scratch from the jumpy needle. Ellie took a bath afterward and Nick helped me put in some cookies. Their pumpkins look great, they even decorated the stems. I made some pasta for dinner and the kids watched Shrek and the Monsters cartoons on tv while they ate.
Rob was able to do some costume prep for me and made the holes in the box and painted it for Nick's costume - Harry Potter Lego Robot - don't ask. I told the kids tonight it is absolutely nuts here - some kids get one costume but since we have this costume box its madness here.
I heard from Christi today that Susannah's surgery was a success and other than some eye pain and seeing double she is doing ok - thanks again for the positive thoughts and prayers. I am sitting here and finding it difficult to keep my eyes open - I am so tired it has been a busy, non stop adventure day. Visualising my healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Parties, parties everywhere

I think I passed out on the couch quickly after Rob went upstairs last night - I didn't make it up until almost 2 though. Nick came into out room and the poor boy was freezing on all his exposed skin - I guess we need to go up not one but two sizes in pjs for him. Everyone slept in this morning - the alarm went off and I got up - Nick stayed asleep but I had to wake Ellie up (and I never have to do that).
Ellie and I went down and I got her breakfast and got her clothes ready for the day. I packed up a portion of the stuff for the party for Ellie to take with her to school - I would bring the rest with me. I got Ellie off to the bus and then went to wake Nick up - he woke up happy. He decided to be James (from Thomas) for the preschool party this morning. Interestingly enough he asked if he had preschool and I said yes it was the party and trick or treating and there were no arguments. He got dressed, we got out of the house, into the car and into school without tears, yelling or meltdowns. I took him into school and got his coat off and costume on and I was on my way. I came home and got the final stuff ready for the party - I made sheets of kids jokes and a word challenge. I got all my bags packed and it was time to pick up Nick. I pulled up and all the kids were coming out to take group pictures - I thought I had my camera but only had my phone but snapped a couple anyways.
Nick and I stopped off at the store to pick up milk for the party and then came home and Nick and I had some lunch. Nick had some down time and watched Clifford - did a costume change - Superman for the afternoon. I loaded the car and we were off to Ellie's school. Nick was such a big helper asking what he could carry for me. When we got to the class the kids were already dressed and we were just waiting for the last few to finish. While Mrs. Bart read the kids a Halloween book I was able to get the snacks plated and all the craft pages collated. We all went out to the hall - one of the cool things about the school is for Halloween the kids - 5th grade and under dress up and have a costume parade - the 6th-8th graders cheer the younger kids on. As the younger kids pass through each grade level the older kids watch and have such positive energy - you feel like you are on the football team coming out into the stadium.
We walked the parade and came back to the room - we had our snacks and did our crafts - this is a quiet bunch this year - very low key. We came home after school and I told the kids I needed to just sit down for a couple minutes - they counted their candy and played downstairs together. I went down a little while later and they were playing kitchen and coloring. Rob got home and we were actually able to visit for a bit because the kids were so involved in playing. We ordered pizza for dinner and I went to pick it up while the kids played some more. We had dinner and then Rob tried to get Nick to sleep - I think he had too much activity today and was squirmy and would not go to sleep for Rob. Ellie and I went up and I traded off with Rob - he tucked Ellie in and I was able to get Nick to sleep.
I am trying to warm up - I thought the laptop would help but my feet are freezing. It was a long day but we all had fun - it is wonderful to dress up and pretend. I had tried on a couple things and "modeled" for Nick before we went to school. I put on a dress that has been in my closet for 12 years - it not only fit but fit better than it did 12 years ago - I could use it for a witch - Nick said no. I also tried on the dress I wore for Jo's wedding - doesn't fit so well anymore - it just kind of hangs off me - this was an eye opening situation. I have lost weight but I still am wearing the same clothing - it just fits differently but the dress I had fitted to me 4 years ago is no longer fitted to me. I thank everyone who kept our little friend Susannah in their thoughts and prayers - I haven't heard anything from Christi yet but will update when I do hear. Visualising my healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

No clever title - just Thursday

Rob got home a bit before 10PM last night and I caught him up on the day, had a cup of tea together and made it about half way through the news before he went up to bed. I watched crappy cable - couldn't even tell you what I watched but I went up around midnight. Mom and I have been both holding off on turning on our heat - you look at the 5 day outlook and there is a sunny day in the 60s and you think it will warm up the house but I gave in this morning - so did Mom. Rob was up too early and back at work - Nick crawled in with me to keep warm.
Ellie was up early and went down to eat breakfast. Nick and I got up and that is when I realized the house was cold. I got Nick some breakfast and Ellie informed me it was "formal day" for red ribbon week - I told her it was too cold to wear a dress or skirt to school - felt a bit guilty later. Nick and I were a bit late than Ellie walking to the bus and he was in meltdown mode because I wouldn't let him drive his trike - which was put away so it didn't blow away during the wind storm.
He was very insistent he was not going to school today but I was able to "disguise" going to school again. I had a couple bags with me when we left for school - I needed to run by Mom's and drop off some food and change Scarlett. I told him a couple blocks into our ride that it was pre-school day - he was ok by the time we got to school. I went to Mom's house and put the food in the fridge and then we got ready to change Scarlett. Tony has never been there when we change Scarlett and hopped up on the bed to watch. Without even seeing Scarlett he was talking about my oowies. When the "bandage" came off Tony started talking about James (from Thomas) and the circus - it is a particular episode of Thomas that has clown like lips - I guess Scarlett looks like James as a clown.
I sat with them for a couple minutes before I had to get moving and Tony gave me the best laugh of the day. He would sit in the glider and give me a huge devious smile and say - Oh crap. Mom would tell him that wasn't a nice thing to say - he should say oh no. Tony would say oh no about a dozen times then give me the look and say oh crap. I couldn't prevent the laughing - I had to go because it was seriously breaking me up. I stopped off at the store to pick up some things for lunch and then came home to do a bit of straightening up - Christi and Susannah were coming over for a play date after school. I went to pick up Nick from school and found that they had let the kids outside early - Nick saw my car and instantly called out Mama!
We came home and I pre-heated the oven - I had picked up some snickerdoodles (Holly Hobbies favorite cookie) when I was at the store. Nick washed his hands and helped me with the cookies and then he danced for a bit while watching out the window for his girlfriend to arrive. I made sandwiches for the kids and made a pasta bake for Christi and me. Nick hid in his box when they arrived and sprung out like a Jack-in-the-box to "scare" them. We ate lunch and visited - talking about Halloween and school and life. Su'nana and Nick went to play and Christi and I had some time to visit and catch up. Our very dear friend I have been asking for your extra thoughts, prayers and wishes for is Susannah - she will be having surgery tomorrow morning. Christi and I talked about a bit about that and I gave her something she had shared with me about 6 weeks ago - faith.
I shared it with you the night before my surgery - my best girlfriend, Christi, dropped by a small metal "stone" marked faith for me to help me through my journey. I have been collecting beads for a bracelet for her for her birthday but it seemed more appropriate to give her today - it had a faith bead, a ying yang for balance and an angel to help her through - along with other special beads. We picked up a sing-a-ma-jig for Susannah last night, too - I figured she should be able to get hours of entertainment from it. It was a great afternoon - the kids painted gourds for Halloween - each very different and then they played downstairs and up.
Christi and Su'nana left right before the bus came - Nick and I walked to get Ellie - again meltdown mode - this time because of his lack of Woody apparel. We got back to the house and got Ellie set to go to run - filled her water bottle and she put another layer on. We dropped Ellie off at school and Nick and I went to OfficeMax to get some copies made for the party tomorrow and pick up metal fasteners. The man behind the counter at OfficeMax was incapable of multi-tasking and 45 minutes later Nick and I abandoned our card stock weight copies and opted for regular old white paper - inefficiency at its ultimate best. We were timed perfectly to see Ellie run her last lap and we were out in front to pick her up.
We got home and Ellie finished her homework while Nick had a snack and had some quiet time. I got started working on the baked goodies for Ellie's party tomorrow - we made cupcakes and brownies - I think I might have the kids frost their own but I am not sure yet. Rob got home early and he came with a Binny's bag full of wine - we have been out for a couple days now - woo freakin hoo (I cannot have aspirin or advil for the 7 days prior to the port and the wine takes to edge off). I did realize at OfficeMax this afternoon that my hand had turned red - very apparent next to Nick's regular looking hands - thank you xeloda.
Ellie and Nick both presented us with a costume show while I finished up baking. There were some very entertaining options - mostly Nick. We had dinner and Rob gave the kids baths while I got the goodie bag stuff ready for tomorrow. Rob and the kids watched Shrek-tacular while I got bags ready for both Nick and Ellie's classes. Rob took Nick up for bed and I had some cuddle time with Ellie. Costume update - not quite sure what Nick will decide tomorrow morning (I told him Harry Potter Lego Robot was out for tomorrow), Ellie is going to be a cheerleader and Rob is going to be a doctor - complete with the kids Fisher Price medical bag. I am not sure what I am dressing in for school - I have the cure Halloween Mom shirts - not sure if it will be that or a costume.
I am again asking for your help with positive thoughts, wishes and prayers for our very dear friend, Nick's girlfriend, my other girl, Susannah - she will have her surgery tomorrow morning and I know she will do just fine but I also know the power of collective positive thinking - thanks for helping me out. Visualising mt healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Whoa will Wednesday never end?

I watched the news and then played on the computer while sort of watching Jay Leno. I think I went up somewhere around midnight but all the nights seem to run together now. Nick came in to our Rob just after 6 and he climbed in bed with me to warm up and fall back asleep. Ellie got about a couple minutes before me but Nick slept in. I packed up lunch for Ellie and got her some clothes to wear and some crazy socks (crazy sock or hair day at school today). I heard the patter of tiny feet upstairs and went up to get Nick. Ellie waited as long as she could before going out to the bus - still majorly windy here today. I called Mom to let her know Nick and I were going to come over but not before whatever was on tv finished. Mom told me she was finishing the Woody vests today so I should ask Nick to bring his cowboy gear.
Nick and I went downstairs to rummage through the costume box for his cowboy hat and then we decided he needed his new cowboy belt Grams bought him - except it was adult size so it kept falling off of him. Nick and I took it into the workshop and I originally tried to use one of Rob's drills to drill a new hole - didn't work because the battery died. I found the tap tool and was able to work with a hammer to tap a hole through the leather - still to big - second try was a success. We then put the leather part of Nick's tool belt through the belt as his holster. Nick went through the closet to find his (still to big) Woody cowboy boots. We got our stuff ready and were off to Mom's.
I poured Mom and I a cup of tea and we went to the porch to play and Mom finished the awesome Woody vests - complete with personalized sheriff badges Dad bought back from Colorado for T and Nick. I rummaged through Mom's beads and set the boys up to do play-doh. I tried to help Mom out by organizing the book shelf and the toy cabinet. The boys were ready for a different activity so we traded out to felt boards and Nick really had a good time - T not soo much. We went inside to have lunch and cool off - Mom's porch got to be over 100 degrees with the solar heat today - that was with the doors open.
As I got to Mom's today I got a call back from Margaret and next Wednesday is port day - I am trying to work through my nervousness and anxiousness without being too stressed out. Margaret did say I should take my big dose of ativan the night before. Margaret wished me luck for the race - I need to get out walking. After lunch I tried to help Mom plan the menu for family Sunday - we are moving it up a week so the GGs and Uncle Bill can see everyone in costume. Mom has been asking for requests - Nick asked for chocolate muffins, Ellie for bagels Rob said whatever to which Mom said quiche (not one of Rob's faves) and I have just thrown general ideas around - eggs, potatoes, chocolate.
I played a couple round of doopa round up with the boys and then we decided blocks might be a better choice. Nick and I eventually had to say goodbye but Nick cried as soon as we got to the car. He insisted the entire ride home that I should bring him back to Grams and then I could get Ellie and come back to get him. We got home and Nick helped me fix some of our decorations that had blown over and we came inside to cuddle. A huge wind gust came and we heard big noise out front - our screen door had blown open in the wind and the wind was so strong that it pulled the screws straight out of the closure mechanism (an example of chemo brain - I honestly cannot think of the part I am trying to convey here). I pulled the screen shut and locked the lock - I don't think it will ever be the same again. Nick and I got ready to get Ellie and he had another melt down because he didn't have all his Woody gear on to surprise her with.
Ellie came off the bus with her beautiful school pictures - I cannot believe how she has changed since kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade. Ellie did her homework and Nick and I sat on the couch watching Cat in the Hat. Ellie and Nick and some scarrots for a snack - Ellie with ranch dressing and Nick with peach kefir. Nick and Ellie went downstairs to play and when I went down to see what they were up to Nick had his Harry Potter wizard hat on with the Harry Potter fake glasses - seriously laughed until my side hurt. Ellie told him that is what he should be for Halloween (costume change #5 in just over 24 hours). They came upstairs to dance to the music and Nick announced he was going to be a Harry Potter Lego robot - good thing we have a costume box.
We had an early dinner because the kids both had appointments with their allergist this evening. Nick didn't want to go and dressed like Woody and finally gave in. Ellie is 4'8" tall and Nick is 3'5" - I knew they were growing but seriously - Ellie is less than a foot away from me now. We had a good appointment - Nick has begun his Fall swelling and we need to start the nasal rinse everyday now because the mold count is very high. In light of my health and their allergist having a supply of flu shots available I opted to have them get them tonight. Ellie was first and was the very best example for Nick - I jumped on the table and held Nick but didn't secure his arm enough because when the needle touched his arm he jerked and she had to stick him again. I haven't heard him cry like that in so long - it is a totally different cry than his meltdown cry. It took a couple minutes to calm him down enough that I could set him down and get our stuff together. You know it is bad when you pass people in the waiting room and they are just oogling you. We got to the car and I had originally promised a trip to CVS to replenish our supply of gummy spiders if the kids were good but in light of Nick truly being in pain I didn't know if it was going to happen. I asked him when we got to the car and he said no he was hurt and had to go home but as I turned out of the parking lot he changed him mind. The entire way to CVS he talked about the doctor visit and how he never wants to go back and the nurse hurt him and she wasn't nice - hopefully he will stay well and we won't need to see her again until April.
We got to the store and Nick reminded me his arm hurt and I should only hold him a certain way - I was thinking of a cart but he needed some extra love. So - last week when we were at CVS Mom and I found this toy called a Sing-a-ma-jig and were underwhelmed at its performance in the store but have since read about it as "the toy of the year" in at least 6 different places. Needless to say Ellie and Nick are the proud owners of a red and yellow one now for being extra brave. We got home and they played with their ma-jig's for a couple minutes while I got vitamins ready. Rob had to work late tonight and tomorrow - he is still not home - so I had bedtime tonight and it had been a long day with Nick. The kids brushed their teeth and I helped them out of their shirts to minimize arm pain. Nick asked if I would hold him for a while - he wanted to lay on my shoulder so we did that but I got him into bed finally. Ellie read in bed while I got Nick to sleep and then I went in to tuck her in. I told her that her arm might hurt for the next day or so and she was sure hers wouldn't hurt but Nick's would.
I am having a cup of tea and blogging - the wind is still howling outside. I am gearing up for the next couple days - Friday is going to be a really long day between school parties and all that needs to be done for them. I am still dealing with some residual side effects of xeloda - hopefully they will go away shortly. Although, I didn't get the neuropathy this time I have noticed my hand strength is not what is was - when I tried to change the battery pack out on Rob's drill this morning I could not squeeze the release buttons hard enough to get them to release.
I am again asking if you have an extra moment to spare for positive thoughts, wishes or prayers if you would include our very dear friend in them. Visualising my healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Tricks are coming early

I watched the news and then flipped around nothing very good on. I slept ok - it was a bit warm in the house and then all the wind noise outside and I think it might be time for a new mattress. It looked horrible outside this morning and I told Ellie I was going to drive her to school because I didn't want her waiting outside for the bus. Ellie got her lunch together and I was able to jump in the shower quickly and the rain thankfully slowed down enough for us to run to the car and drive to school. I tried something new with Nick this morning - I didn't mention school at all and then I told him we were taking a ride to see what fell down in the storm. Some of our decorations had fallen over in the wind so I thought it was a viable idea. Sure enough I got him not only out the door and to the car but about half way to school before he realized where we were going. He broke down for about a minute then I found a news report on the storm on the radio and had him listen. I pointed out that they had closed down the airport and there were no airplanes in the sky and then we listened to a pilot talk about the storm and flying.
We pulled into school and we were actually early. I unbuckled Nick and let him come sit with me up front and he was fine until they opened the door to let them in. I carried him in and he was fine as soon as Mrs. Dunham asked what he was going to be for Halloween. Now, for weeks the answer has been a robot - not a costume we could buy but a box that he wants arm and head holes cut out of but today he looks at his teacher and says a pilot. I came home and took advantage of my time alone to call Margaret to schedule my port appointment - left a message. To call at&t to ask them to reset our voicemail because we have no message but the phone is telling us we do - was told it was reset but problem still exists. To call the hospital concierge to say I never received my patient survey - the person at Evanston was away from his desk so I instead wrote a lengthy rant email. I did take the first couple paragraphs to talk about the successful parts of my hospitalization and subsequent visits and services. I ordered my laptop - so excited to have a computer that will have a left mouse button.
I put a package of smarties in my pocket because I was having a bit of Mom guilt over my trickery to get Nick to school but in the long run I didn't need to come home and re-coup because it was easy. Nick told me about school and all the happenings - we stopped at the bakery because I was craving something chocolate covered - a chocolate sweet roll did the trick - Nick picked out cookies for him and Ellie. I drove through Wendy's to pick up lunch before we went over to Mom's and then stopped to get gas and Nick must have been starving because he asked to start his burger in the car.
We ate lunch out on Mom's porch and the weather was so bizarre today going from blinding sunlight to dark storm clouds and the wind was absolutely incredible. Nick ate his lunch and then ate the eyes and mouth off his monster cookie. Mom went to work on the Woody vests she is making for Tony and Nick. I read through Mom's most recent magazines and Nick played with play-doh. I set up Mom and Dad's new printer and Nick came into the room wondering about all the new stuff - he cracks me up. Nick and I left to come home to get Ellie - she got off the bus with the news that Girls on the Run was not happening today. The phone was ringing as we walked in the door - it was Ms. Doolas letting up know GOTR was not being held today. We had a quick conversation and she said she would see me Friday and asked if I was dressing up - she had a pink wig she was going to wear. I told her just today I had a purple wig come in the mail. I told her about my new wig theory and how Ellie is mortified that I would consider pink, purple or blue hair and Ms. Doolas said if needed (in the future)- I could call her ahead of time and she would wear her pink wig to school and I could wear mine to make Ellie feel more comfortable.
Ellie I worked on her math homework - she didn't tell me ahead of time she only needed to work on it for 20 minutes - so almost 45 minutes later I was thinking this was kind of intense homework. Ellie and Nick went downstairs to play until Rob got home and showed Nick the box he had got for his robot costume. Suddenly Nick was going to be a Jack-in-the-box and then a lego robot and then a Nick-in-the-box. It entertained him for a good 45 minutes - I would hum the music and pretend to wind the outside of the box and then he would jump out. Mom came over and we started making dinner - the house was warm to begin with but during dinner prep it got hot. Ellie helped out in the kitchen and Rob and Nick went up to play trains. Dad came just as dinner was finishing up - our trickery continued when we tried to tell the kids the baked polenta was corn pudding - Nick took one bite and said it tasted yucky and not like it should. I made cinnamon rolls for dessert both the kids have asked for them recently. I took Nick up for a bath and Ellie preformed her finger puppet show she was working on.
Mom and Dad left - the wind practically blew them out the door and Rob took Nick up to bed. Ellie and I watched the start of Dancing with the Stars and then she went up to bed too. I am feeling pretty good today and I am looking forward to the next few weeks off. I forgot to share my chemo brain moment yesterday - I preheated the oven to 425 degrees for dinner but it wasn't until about 20 minutes later when I smelled chocolate that I remembered that I had put the pan of brownies with the last of the oreo cookies and all the candy from the Spooktacular in the oven earlier to keep Nick out of it. The oreo cookies (and plastic tray) completely shriveled up, the tootsie rolls were firmly melted to the pan and the lollipops didn't look so good either - it was Rob's suggestion to jump dump the pan instead of trying to clean it - I dumped the pan.
Now I am going to ask a favor - since I am not in huge need of healing thoughts, prayers and wishes right now I would be very appreciative if you'd offer them up instead to a very dear friend of ours who will have surgery on Friday. I know first hand the power of collective positive thought and I know our friend would benefit from all the extra healing potential. Visualising my healthy body and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Last does of xeloda taken!!!

I sort of knew I was in trouble last night after my afternoon nap but hey what else is there to do on a Sunday night? I watched food network and went up to sleep around 1:00AM - except I had slept on the hot pad (it turns off automatically) but it didn't stop the sweat from starting and I was actually cold by the time I got upstairs. Nick slept in his bed without any disturbances until 7:15AM but since I am accustomed to being up a couple times a night I kept waking up. We got up and got dressed - I got Ellie and Nick breakfast and I finished packing Ellie's lunch. We all walked to the bus - got Ellie on and then Nick and I came home. I called Mom to find out what her plans were - I needed to hit Target but she had her fill last week - so Nick and I went.
We really just needed staples, toilet paper, frozen waffles, milk but we looked through Halloween and cruised perimeter clearance. I did a quick run through boys clothes because Nick has ripped knees in all the sweat pants that fit him - time for some replacements. Nick had mentioned throughout the store he was cold - it was a bit cold in the grocery section but by the time we were in clothes it felt fine but not to him - I put a sweatshirt in the cart and he quickly put it on. We came home and un-loaded and called Mom to let her know we were home. Mom said she would come by to pick us up and we would head out to do a produce run. Nick watched a dvd on the car ride and Mom and I got to visit and enjoy the last of the pretty fall colors. We found the cutest thing at the market - Scarrots - individual bags of baby carrots with glow in the dark tattoos - I picked some up for school.
We stopped at Salvation on the way back here to see if they had a belt that would work for Tony's costume - we were successful. We came back here for lunch and Nick had a couple huge fits because he was frustrated I wasn't figuring out what he was talking about. We ate and then Nick got to do one of his water art kits while Mom and I read some magazines. We went for some quiet time in the back room while we waited for it to be time to get Ellie. Nick rode his trike and we went off to find the bus - Nick looked for good leaves. Ellie came in and started her homework right away. I convinced Ellie we should walk before the rain came - she agreed. We walked out with Mom and got Nick in the stroller and we were on our way. We realized about 6 blocks into our walk that the pedometer that Ellie found was not working - it read that we had walked 10 steps. We walked about 1.3 miles again - we will build up next time.
We came home and the kids went downstairs to play - I did a bit more research online to try to find the perfect laptop replacement. Rob got home and we visited for a bit before he went to find out what the kids were up to. We have been getting about 3 political calls a day - the new phones Rob bought have a feature that we can now block calls from certain phone numbers - so each time they come in we block them. It only somewhat helps because they just keep coming - the one this evening was "Hi, this is Jenny. I was raped when I was 18..." that is when I hung up - don't even know who it was for but it quickly got blocked. Only 8 more days of this crap but we live in the Chicagoland area so we will then have all the mayoral commercials.
I started dinner while Rob got Nick and Ellie in and out of the tub. We had a nice dinner together talking about what an awesome job Ellie did with her most recent AR reading test. We had vitamins, I had my final dose of xeloda and then Rob took Nick up to bed. Ellie sat with me and we filled in her reading chart and she re-read a book so she could write the story board for it. On day 14 of xeloda I finally figured out what side effects I hadn't had yet and then they hit. During my pre-op xeloda I had daily radiation so I wasn't quite sure which treatment to blame for different side effects. I never really gave a second thought to diarrhea because I have Scarlett - wrong. I am done now and have about 3 weeks to re-cooperate before starting again. Visualising my healthy body, my side effects going away quickly and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Fairly quiet Sunday

Rob went up early last night and I watched some news and some bad HGTV. I fell asleep on the couch and I don't even recall what time I actually made it to bed. Nick and I woke up around 8 and I really had to work to confine my usual schedule so we could make church. I had my bowl of coffee and read the Sunday ads before taking a quick shower and grabbing the frozen waffle Rob so nicely toasted for me. I got the kids clothes ready and they got dressed and we were out the door to church.
We sat in the back row today because Nick insisted on wearing his vampire teeth and it was not a big enough deal to fight with him about it. I made the attempt to just walk him to nursery and try to leave but he saw right through it and in the long run I don't want to ruin the trust we have established for preschool. Neither Rob nor I realized it was the big church meeting after church this morning but we didn't plan for it and left. We stopped at Big Lots on the way home because I needed to pick up spray paint to paint the hocus pocus sticks for the Halloween party on Friday. It was such a great Big Lots stop - I found neon orange paint, Ellie found that they had her favorite tuna lunch kits again and I picked up about a dozen baking mixes for the holidays. On the way home Nick was talking about his dark in the glow lights - I laughed so hard.
We came home and we went outside - it was almost 70 degrees here today and partly cloudy - a very decent day for the second half of October. We went through and got rid of most of the stuff in my gardening cabinet - a recent population of small furry things had taken up residence in it and it was beyond gross. I went in the alley and spray painted my sticks - it was pretty funny our neighbor came running back and laughed because he had heard noise and the can of spray paint being shaken and thought someone was tagging in the alley.
I finished my sticks up and went through the remaining pile from the garden cart and got rid of a couple more things and then swept of the porch - leaves are just coming inside by the dozen when the door opens. Since I swept the porch I decided to rake the patio - which turned into raking the side of the house and then part of the lawn - we have a big pile that we will eventually need to bring to the curb. I have not been staying out of the sun like I did in the summer while on xeloda but the sun felt different today and I decided I should go inside. Rob played with the kids out in the yard for a bit - they came in and had some lunch before walking to the park. I took advantage of the silence and the heat of the solar energy coming into the back room and took a nap. I heard the kids and Rob come home but they went to the basement to give me a while longer to sleep.
When I woke up they were watching Boil Boil Toil and Trouble (Olsen twins from the early 90s) so I played on the computer for a bit - realized I had been outbid on all my ebay auctions but it only really bothers me when the final bid is only $1.00 from my bid. When I see that some stupid person was willing to pay almost retail for used clothing that is just fine with me. When their movie ended we headed off to Mom and Dad's for Sunday night dinner. Jo and Tony were already there and dinner was almost finished. I helped with the remaining plating and we went to the porch to eat dinner. The little boys behaved so nicely during dinner - would have thought we drugged them or something. After dinner we had pumpkin ice cream sundaes - yum. Mom and Ellie helped me change Scarlett - she dropped another dress size - I noticed she looked smaller immediately - must be the anti-oxidant rich diet I am on. Nick climbed up on the bed and he just provides humor in the most odd moments in time.
We came home with our goodies from Grams - new toothpaste for Nick and Ellie (each their own flavors), a couple lunchables for Ellie and tic tacs for me. We did vitamins and brushed teeth, changed in pjs and off to bed Nick went. Ellie is sitting on the couch with me reading the last chapter of her book and I am blogging. Nothing too much happening this next week - just getting ready for the party at school and Halloween in general. Tomorrow is the last day of oral xeloda - yeah - I am so happy the big side effects never kicked in. Visualising my healthy body, celebrating the last two doses of xeloda and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

It is Saturday and I am tired!

By the time I got home and un-wound, wrote my blog and felt sleepy enough to go upstairs it was close to 3:00AM. I have absolutely no complaints - I had such a great night and I am just sad my friend Julie lives so far away. Of course, I woke Rob up when I went up because my pajamas were not were I left them. We talked for a bit about our nights and I finally said I needed to go to sleep. About 20 minutes later I heard noise - Nick! I took him back to his bed and he wanted me to hold him -which I did until I felt his weight get heavy - I ticked him in and went back to bed. I have no idea when Rob or Ellie woke up but Nick and I didn't wake up until 9:o0AM.
We went down and Nick went to find Ellie in the basement - Rob and I had our coffee. It was rainy this morning which put a damper on some of our plans. We did eventually get dressed and Ellie and I went to the bank - Nick didn't want to get dressed so he and Rob stayed at home. Ellie picked out a pumpkin for both of them and a goodie bag while I made their deposit. We came home and Nick was in hysterics - apparently since we left. Ellie opened their goodie bags and showed him their "loot". They both put in their fake teeth and sanity was restored. We had plans to go the the Niles West homecoming parade but it was actively raining out which means its not the kids weather (pneumonia bound). I got the kids set up to decorate the pumpkins we got from the bank today - paint, colored glue, glitter glue and gems. I then ran out the door to get to lunch.
This was a very big social weekend for me - my girlfriend, Becki, from high school was also passing through town. I traveled out to the Woodfield area to meet up with her and her husband. We had a nice lunch talking about their recent wedding (we weren't able to attend because it was still too close to surgery), my health and general memories. What I have come to realize over the last 24 hours or so is how absolutely lucky I am that I not only like my Mom but she truly is my best friend. Goes with the whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas but truly I am so lucky!
Becki and I visited until it was time to get going - they went on to Ikea and I came home. Our neighbors were having a Halloween party today that they invited Ellie to and she was super excited but I talked her into a walk before she needed to go. We walked 1.3 miles and she was complaining about .9 miles into it - I told her we would increase each time we walked seeing as how we only have 3 weeks left to work up to the 3.2 miles.
Uncle Bill came over and played with the kids for a bit and visited with Rob unfortunately by the time I got off the phone with my Mom (thanking her for being so great) Uncle Bill had left and I really didn't have a chance to talk to him. The kids has strayed to the neighbors trampoline and Nick just needed to sleep. I finally got Nick inside but spent about 10 minutes running from the front door to the back door trying to stop him from going back out. We finally got him downstairs and busy and I finally got Ellie inside. Ellie took a bath while Nick watched what he wanted on Netflix and then they switched out. I fixed dinner - not the best dinner I have ever fixed but everyone seemed to be fine with it.
Nick and Ellie ate downstairs to watch Eloise while Rob and I ate upstairs. We joined them for a min- movie night - they had until 7:00. Rob took Nick up but it took him forever to fall asleep - the rain is seriously a prayer answered considering the neighbors party. Ellie went up for bed and here I am blogging. Somethings I have learned over the last day or so - I have been all wrong on the Katy Pery and Lady Gaga wig thing - I need Shakira wigs. I decided to let my hair down last night and left it down today it totally lives up to my high school license plates of "WOL" which my Mom always said was short for "Woman on the Loose". Out of control hair - Shakira hair which doesn't come in purple, pink and blue. This weekend was awesome - a way to break up the usual. I have started to realize the xeolda side effect I have seen before - shortly after taking my dose my mouth gets a gross taste, it isn't metallic- it is just gross and I need to either pop a tic tac or some other sweet. My hands are still very dry and red and my feet have started to hurt today but I only have 2 more days - I can do 2 more days. Visualising my healthy body, my continued un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Technically it is Saturday but this is my Friday post

I watched crappy tv last night - I think they were even episodes I have seen before. I heard footsteps upstairs around midnight and didn't know if they were from bedroom to bathroom footsteps of from bedroom to bedroom footsteps - I waited 30 minutes and found out they were the latter. I didn't have the energy to try to move Nick so I left him in bed with Rob and just tried to make some room for myself - bad decision because there is simply not enough room to be three in the bed for that many hours anymore.
Ellie got up a bit before Nick and I did and went downstairs and got herself breakfast. I got out some of Ellie's Halloween clothes because they will be all wrong in another week or so and called her upstairs because I was pretty sure none of the 10/12 size pants were going to fit - I was right - they are now nice crop length. She picked out the cutest Hanna Andersson turtleneck and some jeans and I brought Nick down some clothes. We got out coats on and walked Ellie to the bus stop - Nick riding his trike and collecting leaves along the way. Ellie left and Nick and I came back home and warmed up. I enjoyed my bowl of coffee while Nick had another bowl of cereal. I called Mom and decided Nick and I would go over there for a play date with her and Tony.
We got to Mom's and the boys played with trains for a bit - we had bought Max & Ruby's Halloween dvd with us and they watched that on and off. Mom and I looked at some things on ebay and I found some clips of the circus online to show the boys - we are planning on going with Jo and T when it comes to town. Mom made the boys some snick snack lunch and we had to make up a song and a dance to get them to eat it but it worked. I played a couple rounds of I'm gonna get your doopa - which is simply me chasing the boys and lightly pinching their diapered butts - so much fun. It was getting to be about that time so Nick and I gave out hugs and kisses and left to come home.
Nick gave me some cuddle time on the couch before it was time to get Ellie. He was pretty funny - this morning he woke up asking about preschool and if he had it today - I said no. He then questioned more - why doesn't he have school today - hmmm- I really don't know what is going through this kids head. We walked down to get Ellie from the bus and I told the kids they would be going with Rob to the Spooktacular tonight and we needed to find costumes that weren't too hot because there was going to be jumpy jumps there. Ellie picked out a cheerleader costume that we could put pants under and Nick went as James from Thomas. Rob got home and took the kids outside to play and I took a shower. I had marvelous plans for the evening - I was having dinner with 2 very good old friends, Dena and Julie. I have known Dena since kindergarten and Jules since 6th grade. Rob and the kids left and I waited for Julie to come by - she called me and told me every East bound street had detours - Touhy, Oakton - so she was on Dempster but on a Friday night she was running late. I let Dena know and she nicely put her name on the restaurants list for 7:30. Julie got here and we headed downtown Evanston (Julie moved about 15 years ago so it was reminiscent time) for dinner. We met Dena outside and went in to discover our table was ready for us quickly. We talked for quite a bit before looking at the menu and actually ordering. I have had the best therapy I can have - I have laughed, I have cried (because I laughed so hard) and I have made use of the all encompassing "wow". It was great to catch up - it has been about a year since we were last all together - about 6 weeks since I last saw Jules.
I am taking a whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas stand toward this evenings conversation but will provide the cliff notes - speedyway, shoneys, sparty (see the theme) we aren't discussing certain years or states - I know this makes no sense to the majority of people who do read my blog but it is filling my eyes with tears as I am laughing typing this. Jules and I had plans for a wine night but ironically the waiter never asked if we wanted drinks - probably for the better. We watched as one by one the tables around us left and the waiter came to ask if we could pay our bill so they could close out their system - we were getting kicked out - that is how good of a time we were having. We finally made our way outside just to talk for a while longer - it was a gorgeous night and we were still entertaining each other. We said our goodbyes and gave great hugs to each other - as Jules and I were walking to the parking lot I asked her if she was tired or if she felt like a walk. We walked around downtown Evanston looking at all the things that have changed - we did walk past a group of "boys" probably Northwester "boys" but they ended up walking behind us and I think we were getting scoped out - highly ego boosting.
Laughter is a powerful medicine and I got a super dose tonight - Julie is probably going to kill me but the best laugh came when she was trying to tell us about a park off Central Street in Evanston and said it wasn't far from the Evanston Theatre - the theatre itself hasn't been open in over a decade and is currently vacant land - sorry Jules, I had to. We did notice that Evanston shuts down at like 11:00PM - until we got to the corner of Sherman and Lake and then we found out where the alcohol is served and laughed at the people stumbling around.
We walked back to the car and I drove Jules past her old house and other changing things through Evanston. We got to my house and I am sure we could have talked for another couple hours but Jules had to get back to Elk Grove and my house was dark. Interestingly enough the neighbors house has every light on - including strobes and the kids screaming (at 12:30AM) and then their motion sensor decorations began going off. We hugged our like 10th goodbye and finally called it a night - hoping to see each other around New Years. I have had the best night - I know I could never do it every night but to laugh like I did tonight and just tell and hear stories of old times was priceless - thank you friends. So, here it is a bit past 1:00AM - a time I am accustomed to however I need to wind down before I can go up to sleep.
I have more adventures tomorrow - I have another friend from high school passing through town and we have a lunch date - I am hoping for more laughter. Well, the repeat of the 10:00 news is on - that might make me sleepy - I am high on friendship endorphins currently and need some zen. Random thought, I wore my hair down tonight and it is crazy hair - it was in control when I left but it now might be as wide as it is long - wind blown and not looking so pretty. I also was outbid on the Katy Pery purple wig I was bidding on - humph. Just saw it was the Northwestern Homecoming parade tonight - might explain the un-ruly alcohol induced people Jules and I saw walking along.
Visualising my healthy body, the last 3 days of my un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Man oh man has it been a long day

I kicked Rob off the couch during the new last night - I needed to stretch out. I found that Discovery Health had on a documentary from a couple years ago called Crazy, Sexy Cancer. It was about a 31 year old woman who had incurable cancer and through this documentary she tells her story but also interviews other young women with cancer. It was very interesting because, even though, it was a couple years old some of the things she did were still pretty current thinking. Knowing it was incurable she sought very "out there" ideas and alternatives but ended up with the alkaline pH diet - an idea that is still current. Basically, the majority of society has a diet that leads to very acidic levels on the pH scale and low and behold when you have a diet that is more alkaline the less prevalent cancer is. It was bizarre - she took in wheat grass in a number of ways - only one being by mouth. Reading up on it today though a number of cancer patients with incurable types (or advance staged) try this diet and see their tumors shrink. It also brought light to the whole wig thing and made me think if I do need a wig I am going outrageous and not conventional because they do look like wigs.
Rob once again left when Nick came for his nightly visit - Ellie slept in until 7:20 and went straight downstairs. Nick slept through my alarm going off and I left him in bed while I got clothes together and went down to fix Ellie breakfast. Around 8 I tried to wake him up and it took about 5 minutes but he eventually rallied and came downstairs. We walked Ellie to the bus stop and then I ate breakfast and fed Nick. I tried a new method today - we didn't mention school until I was ready to walk out the door with him - I think it might have been the worst morning yet. He ran to the kitchen cart for me to pull him from - I just told him I didn't have it in me today and he sort of listened but it got bad when we got to the car. Nick tried to run away but I was able to stop him but one of his shoes fell off - I told him some neighbor was going to see us in the car and call the police and he straightened up and let me buckle him in but the other shoe was missing - found half way under the car. Nick cried the entire way to school - I carried him in and the teacher told me he adjusts quickly and this is just his effort to pull at my heart - I know this but is doesn't make it any easier each day.
I took a trip out to my favorite thrift shop with the goal of adding a couple new tops or sweaters to my wardrobe but everything was either not my size or was priced too close to retail. I was going to go to Salvation Army on the way home but I had to a) use the washroom and b) the construction on Dempster makes my fave Salvation not my fave right now. I came home and decided to tackle the basement today - as soon as I got downstairs the phone rang - it was Rob and we talked for a couple minutes. After we hung up the phone rang almost immediately, I picked it up thinking it was Rob again but it was the school secretary saying Ellie had a slight fever and had just vomited. I said I would be right over and quickly checked the calendar on my way out - sure enough, 30 days from the last migraine. I got to school and signed Ellie out and found out it started with a headaches again on her right side - the secretary told me this was useful info to have seeing as how Ellie didn't quite make it to a receptacle in time.
Ellie and I came home and I made us some tea and she crashed on the couch. I did a bit of googling for info on hormonal induced migraines because that is what I think is happening to Ellie. I have marked our calendar for next month and we will start a bit of a restricted diet on day 27 and start preventative arnica and see what happens. Ellie took the ride with me to pick up Nick - he came rushing out with a huge smile. There were 2 birthdays today at school with cupcakes and goodie bags. We came home and the kids chilled out and watched tv - I made Nick lunch and made Ellie a baked potato. I tried to get the kids to take a nap with no success but I did close my eyes for a bit.
Nick shared with Ellie that he had a time out in school today - I am not sure if this actually happened or not. Nick was on destruction path today - every time I would clean something up he would come by and make a mess. Ellie and I went downstairs to clean up - Nick was busy watching tv but came screeching downstairs that he opened the window in the back room and there was a dog in our yard. This is when Rob came home which was good timing because I was starting to flip out. Ellie and I finished straightening up while Nick was upstairs - I started dinner and Nick was quiet. Rob walked in and started freaking out - Nick had found a tube of diaper cream in a bin and started applying it to his face like shaving cream - when Rob walked in he started smearing it all over the carpet and couch. Clean up number one gillion today.
We have a nice dinner together but Nick only wanted applesauce and bread, Ellie only ate a couple bites because once she felt better this afternoon she had a couple bowls of cereal. It was bedtime - we did vitamins and got pjs on and Rob went up with Nick - Ellie and I cuddled on the couch. Ellie went up to bed and here I am blogging. For whatever reason before dinner I started having what I would have previously (over 2 months ago) called gas pains but those don't really exist anymore - just a real bad stomach ache. Visualising my healthy body, my continued un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Woohoo Wednesday

I stayed up and watched Cake Boss and 19 Kids and Counting (TLC programs tend to put me to sleep). I fell asleep on the couch, again - woke up around 1:30 and went to bed. Nick came in to our room as Rob was leaving and then Ellie woke up early. We got up and got dressed, ate breakfast - Ellie had come down ahead of us and she packed her own lunch. We walked Ellie to the bus stop - Nick drove along on his trike. On the way back home Nick started his daily mantra of not wanting to go the preschool. I got all our stuff together and told Nick we were ready to leave when he ran out the door saying he'd meet me at the car - I thought I was in good shape but 20 seconds later when I locked the house and was at the car he wasn't there. I threw our stuff in the car and started yelling for him and saw his head peek out of the top of the playhouse in the backyard. I was able to trick him down because there was no way I was crawling up there to get him and I grabbed him and got him into his seat - it way only 8:50 but I was exhausted.
We drove to preschool talking about how he really does enjoy preschool when he is there and he agreed - he walked in again without crying or pulling at me. I dropped by Niles North to drop off Rob's phone to him before coming home and cleaning. I really haven't cleaned since I have been home - I have bagged things up to sort through when I felt better - I tackled the bags today. The nice thing about this system is a bunch of stuff is so much easier to sort a month or so after you put it out of sight. By the time it was time to pick Nick up from school I had a bag of garbage, 3 bags for donation and a tons of stuff put back where it belongs - I was also able to vacuum up all the little leaves that tracked in the house.
I picked up a content Nick from school and we went over to Mom's to play with T-Bone - Nick and T haven't played in so long. We picked up shakes on our way but arrived to find T was taking his nap. Nick played with the train set for a bit before T woke up - he sat up and said Gramma, Nicky is here. They played with the trains together - I shared my shake with T. Mom got the boys lunch and neither one of them could stop playing to eat - too involved. I had found 2 bubble necklaces while cleaning and brought them with - so I took the boys outside to blow bubbles. They were very cute together, side by side blowing (and eating) bubbles. Mom came out to join in the fun and do some fall foliage pruning and boys started rolling in the grass and leaves. We finally got the boys to come inside and Nick and I got our stuff ready to come home.
We walked down to get Ellie from the bus and came inside so Ellie could do her homework before going outside to play - it turned out to be a gorgeous fall day.
We raked leaves into some piles and the kids jumped through them and in them and all around them. We eventually came in and had baths to wash all the leaves and dirt away and got the kids into pjs. While the kids did dance party in the living room I worked in the back room and got some more stuff put away. Mom came over and the kids helped her make guacamole and lemonade for dinner. Dad called to say he was on his way and he picked up Chicken Inn on his way. Ellie helped me make brownies for dessert and I worked a bit on the kitchen. I feel so successful in my first post-op cleaning session the entire first floor looks so much better. Dad got here and we ate dinner - Nick asked to watch some tv and I put a blanket over him - really thought he might fall asleep on the couch.
Mom and Ellie helped me change Scarlett and then Mom and Dad cruised on home. Rob had let me know he'd be home late tonight but in time to put the kids to bed. I had started getting them ready as Rob walked in the door with a bloody finger - I told Rob to take a shower and I would start reading to Nick. We traded places and I went down with Ellie and Rob finished getting Nick to sleep. Ellie went up and here I am blogging. I got out stuff for Rob's finger and he came down and ate dinner before fixing his finger.
I am not sure if it because I am washing my hands way more or because the hand and foot syndrome has started but my hands are dry beyond belief and red. I am leaning toward hand and foot because they are red - my feet are still okay though. Visualising my healthy body, my un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Typical Tuesday

I watched Little People Big World last night after the news and apparently it might be my new sleep aid because somewhere in the second episode I fell asleep and woke up somewhere in the 1:00 range. I went up to bed and had an ok night until Nick woke me up this morning. Ellie had a field trip to the Grove today to see their Native American exhibits. Lunch was easy because she asked ahead of time for a turkey lunchable. It seems like a new daily occurrence here with one of the kids but I pick out their clothes, they get dressed and one of them either has 3/4 length sleeves or floods for pants - it was Ellie today with her cropped length jeans (I guess we are up to a size 12 now). Ellie walked to the bus but Nick really wanted to be out there so I got him dressed quickly and we went out to wait with Ellie. I finally got my CT scan results released online so I could read them - no real surprises but there was a reference of fluid in the pelvic area and that infection couldn't be ruled out so I did want clarification on that - I put another call in and told the operator I had left a couple messages for Margaret and really needed to leave one for Dr. Marsh - I was passed into a voicemail that just said extension number ---- was not available.
Mom and I had a shopping morning planned and I thought that would be good on the Nick school front because it would throw him off - no such luck. When Mom pulled up I got our stuff together and tried to get Nick out the door but he ran into the kitchen and attached himself to our rolling cart handles. When I tried to pull him away he pulled the entire cart with him. I released his fingers off and he ran to the front of the house and flung his shoes off as he ran by the time I picked the shoes up he had locked himself in the washroom. I convinced him to open the door and I just grabbed him and was out the front door. It wears me out just trying to get him out the door - he calmed down in the car and actually went into school with no tears or fit and plainly said goodbye to me.
Mom and I went to Target and found such good end cap clearance in the paper goods, wrapping paper and card section. It was so nice to shop and look without kids - we spent over an hour at Target. We made a quick run through Costco so Mom could pickup Christmas presents for the boys (since they were not with us) and I got our garbage bags. We were perfectly timed to pick up Nick from school - he was the first kid to run out the door and got in the car and told us what a great day he had - drives me nuts. We hit another Target to try to find a couple items the first Target didn't have and we were successful but we also had Nick this time around so we ended up with a bunch of things we didn't know we needed.
We came back here for lunch and Nick had an endless stomach - he had ham, applesauce and an orange and he ate them all and asked for seconds and ate those too. We all cuddled up on the couch - I really thought Nick would take a nap but no such luck. I had a message from Margaret saying the CT scan was normal but I could call back if I wanted to discuss it anymore. It was time to pick Elie up from the bus and we were running a bit late and Nick wanted to get his trike and Ellie was already off the bus and Nick just flipped out that he wasn't there. Ellie had a great time at her field trip and even got to pick out a pumpkin from their patch.
Mom drove Ellie to Girls on the Run and dropped her off and Nick and I cuddled some more under the blanket - I was tired. Rob picked Ellie up on his way home from work and as soon as they walked in the house Nick wanted Rob to make him popcorn and play - I told Rob I needed just 15 minutes to sleep - he gave me almost 30 which could be problem some later tonight. We called in an order to Dengeos for dinner and Ellie went to pick it up with me. We had a nice dinner together and Nick shared some of the songs he sung at school today and Ellie shared that she ran 1.2 miles today. I got the kids into the pjs and got their vitamins out and Nick upstairs to bed while Rob showered. Ellie and I worked on her spelling packet and went downstairs to print out her word search. It was fun - I printed 2 out and we were in a race to see who could find the most words the fastest. Ellie went up to bed and here I am blogging.
I am more and more happy each time I open the xeloda bottle and see the level lowering - just 48 more pills! I have the deep pelvic throbby pain back this evening - no fun. Visualising my healthy body, my un-remarkable xeolda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Busy Monday

I lied the other night - I guess I didn't watch the entire season of Sister Wives because the season finale was last night - now I have watched the entire season. I had to wait up until 11:30 to see the episode and I only took the 1.5mg of ativan and I was tired and ready for bed at midnight - woohoo. I hope its a continuing trend but I am sure it will vary from day to day.
Today was my first day flying solo - Rob went back to work today. Nick and I were already up when the alarm went off telling us to get up. I got clothes together for the kids and found Ellie downstairs watching tv. I got the kids breakfast ready and Ellie's snack for school. Ellie walked out to the bus stop and Nick and I watched from the chair. I called Mom to see what she was doing today and she said she would pick us up around 10:30. I am so frustrated with Dr. Marsh right now - I still have not heard any info from my CT scan one week ago. I called Kellogg and asked to be connected either with Dr. Marsh or his voicemail and instead got Margaret's voicemail with her un-changed message from last week and then the automatic system message that her mailbox was full. I tried calling Kellogg back 3 times - each time being placed on hold for periods of 10 minutes - that is all I was willing to wait. I emailed Margaret to say I was still waiting on results and to describe my phone call history from this morning.
I also made a couple calls about wigs - I started with the Kellogg contact who gave me a couple local places to call. I have about 20" of my own hair that I had cut off and I was going to donate but didn't get around to it that I would like to get made into a wig - gray and white hairs too - it will be real natural. I called the companies that she gave me and had no success - I was just told that the wig I want could cost me a small fortune. I called the American Cancer Society and was given another phone number - same result though. I searched online and did find a company that will do what I want but it would be an online transaction so no chance to talk to someone in person to talk about styling - these wigs started at $1200.00 and went up. I think I might just pick up a cheap synthetic wig and see how I actually feel in it - if I really end up needing a wig I might feel differently but for now I am thinking a hat or scarf will do fine.
Mom and Mrs. B came to pick us up and we were off to Michaels for some craft stuff - I was able to pick up the pipe cleaners I need for the school party. We stopped in at the produce market for a replenishing - Nick must have been getting hungry because I put a yogurt smoothie in the cart and he opened it and drank it. When we got out to the car I was feeling hungry too and tore a piece of the fresh french bread off. We ended our day of shopping at CVS but all we got there were gummy spiders - they were super cute and I might have to go back and get some more for Halloween. Mom bought me an article about chocolate today and I guess I am once again ahead of the trend and chocolate and red wine is a strong anti-oxidant booster as well as mood elevator especially for cancer patients. Mrs. B bought me an early Halloween treat - spiced red wine for those cooler nights.
We dropped Mrs. B off and Mom dropped her perishables off and we came back to out house. We had a late lunch before Nick and I went to pick Ellie up from the bus stop. I bought the Samantha dress at a thrift store when Ellie was like 3 years old and the tea yesterday inspired me to think about it again and we had Ellie try it on today (for Halloween) and it fits her like a glove - we have a successful choice for a costume now. I helped Ellie out with her homework and Mom and Ellie looked over her book order. Nick decided to do some crazy stunt to get out of the chair in the dining room and it was a stunt gone wrong and he totally scraped the top layer of skin off his back - he and I had some couch cuddle time. Rob came home and took the kids out for a bit of outside time but the crazy stunts continued when they created a ramp from some woof out back and were running and trying to maneuver their bikes up it. I really do feel like I live with the circus sometimes.
Ellie took her shower when they came in and then she joined Nick in the basement to play. Rob and I got a couple minutes to catch up before I started dinner - a great night for hot soup and fresh bread - yum. After dinner I gave Nick his bath and got him ready for bed - Rob did the night time routine. Feels like I have been typing forever so I think I will wrap up. Rob just listened to me bitch for 10 minutes or so about how irritated I am with the entire Northshore system - going back to my hospital stay where I still haven't received the patient survey (which I was going to use to bitch about a bunch of things) and then more recently about the fact that 3rd world countries get faster CT scan results than I have. I am wound up - wooo. On the positive side - I have now finished my first week of xeloda without any severe side effects - woohoo. Visualising my healthy body, my un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever (might be a real witch) that shall be, Tree

It has been a day

So, I mis-judged last night and thought since the xeloda has been making me sleepy I would try to cut down my nightly does to 1.5mg instead of 2 - I totally am the person who needs the sugar pill because I took my 1.5mg after Rob went up to bed at 8:45 and I made it through the 10:00 news without a yawn. There was NOTHING on tv last night and I was forced to turn to "on-demand" and the only thing that shout out to me was Sister Wives on TLC - I know, I know there and 1,000s of other things on demand but was the drama du jour. I watched the entire first season on demand and was still not sleepy - at midnight I gave in and had another glass of wine hoping I would start to daze off during the last episode - no luck.
I went up to bed and about 20 minutes after I got up Nick came walking into our room and I took him back to his bed and waited until he fell asleep - It was about 2:00 before I fell asleep - could that .5mg really make that much of a difference or is it just entirely in my mind? Nick was up around 6:30 and Rob got up and went downstairs but he left Nick to irritate me - did I mention Rob had about 5 hours more sleep than me? I couldn't take the torture anymore and Nick and I headed downstairs around 7:30 - to my surprise Ellie was still sleeping. I walked Nick down and then tried to fall back to sleep in the living room but couldn't get comfortable enough - Rob even brought me a blanket. Ellie came down around 8:00 - Nick was so into whatever he was watching that he didn't notice Ellie coming in and sitting next to him and finally looked over and said Morning Ellie - about 10 minutes later.
Ellie and Nick went downstairs to play, I read the paper with Rob - we opened our Sweetest Day cards from yesterday. Ellie went upstairs to pick out Kit's clothes for the American Girl Fashion Show Tea today and Nick followed her but locked himself in the bathroom. I figured he would get bored and come out eventually but certain sounds were telling me he might be getting into trouble so I went upstairs. I asked him to unlock the door but he said he couldn't because his hands were slippery. I used my nail to turn the lock and discovered that Nick had pumped the entire bottle of soap out onto the wall, his step stool and the door - along with the soap on his hands and arms. I threw him into the tub and tried to get the layers of soap off his hands and arms - we just kept foaming.
Ellie and I got ready for our special day and I got Nick dressed - Rob took him outside to play. Ellie wanted to match Kit in color - so El wore a teal dress and so did Kit. Rob took Nick out for lunch while Ellie and I waited for Mom to pick us up. We had another nice day to drive for a bit in the car and enjoy the changing foliage. The tea was at the Marriott Lincolnshire and when we arrived we were led to the ballroom with pink, black and silver balloons. I checked us in and got our tickets and found out we were seated at table 1 - 1st table stage side. We went to pick out our seats and put our things down and then Ellie and I walked around to look at the different tables - we bought some raffle tickets and Ellie used her "Grams" money to get fashion show exclusive shoes, gloves and hair bow for Kit and some other hair decorations.
The tea's menu was created by Gale Gand from Tru in Chicago - delicious scones with cream, cucumber sandwiches, egg sandwiches & chicken sandwiches. They served the signature raspberry lemonade that they serve in the store downtown. The show itself was a hoot - Mom and I could barely keep it together for some of the models - too funny. After intermission they announced the door prize winners and raffle winners and I could see that Ellie was bummed out she didn't win. The show got funnier still after intermission but we got to sample some yummy desserts - Ellie was very fond of the butter cookies filled with a chocolate ganache. We made it out before the crowds at the end - thanks to a side entrance and got our last laugh as we watched a little girl in front of us who was all dressed up but must not have had any white socks because she had on majorly big white socks and the gray colored spot that should be on the back of your foot was half way up the back of her leg - it was just a "look".
We all talked on the way home about how we are proud that Ellie is the way she is and has manners and acts like a little girl - today was an eye opening experience into a different world. I texted Rob to let him know we were on our way home and he and Nick could meet us over at Mom's. They pulled up just the same time as Mom pulled into the driveway - Ellie was all too happy to tell Gramps and Rob all about her day. We ordered Chinese for dinner and while we waited to pick up food Nick and Dad played in the yard and Ellie worked on some paper dolls - Mom and I had a glass of red. While the boys went to pick up dinner Mom helped me change Scarlett - Ellie has been watching for the past couple weeks and tonight asked when she could help (obviously she wants to be more actively helping than watching) - Nick came to see what was going on tonight which led naturally into the conversation about why Nick cannot jump on me because I still haven't healed.
We finished dinner and had some of Mom's tasty triple chocolate chip cookies for dessert. We traveled home had vitamins, got pjs on and brushed teeth. Rob got Nick to bed and then Ellie went up and read to Rob for a while. I am feeling pretty good today - no nap and not really tired just a little bit of back pain. I told everyone at dinner tonight that if I continue to loose my hair at the rate it is falling out I will be wig bound soon - I think it is more stress than chemo since I really didn't have hair lose after 6 weeks of xeloda so I can't imagine it 6 days into it. I did get major resistance from Ellie when I said if I was going to loose my hair I was going to dye it purple - she was seriously upset. I explained that I would only do it if it was going to be majorly thin and what did it matter if I was going to loose it anyways. I figure it is my mild protest and I would cut it short before coloring it - my little rebellious scream at cancer. Visualising my healthy body, my un-remarkable xeloda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree

Adventures out West

I learned from my mistake and took my ativan nice and early last night - this could be why I went up to bed before midnight. Nick snuck into our bed sometime during the night but the good news was everyone kind of slept in this morning. We had a sped up morning because we had to get Ellie to Catherine's birthday party in Hoffman Estates. It was a beautiful ride with all the tress and bushes turning colors.
We dropped Ellie off at the party which was at a pet store with a huge aquarium and then Rob, Nick and I did some thrifting. Unfortunately, there were not too many bargains to be had - Rob got some industrial tool boxes, I picked up a dress for Ellie and Nick found a Harry Potter hat. We had lunch and Rob and Nick ran into the wood working shop while I cleaned the car out. We went back to pick Ellie up and the kids checked out the pets for a little while longer. I was just so excited that we didn't have any arguments about pets coming home - some other parents did.
We said our goodbyes and were on our way back home - we promised the kids a trip to the library on our way home. I worked with Ellie to find some new books and Rob played with Nick in the kid area. I found that the craft room was open and the kids went in to color some Halloween pages.
I was able to find one of the books on the shelf I was looking to check out - the others will have to wait until people return them. Rob got a couple too and we checked out and came home. Rob told the kids he would take them outside so I could take a nap but Nick had other plans and was quickly banished inside the house with me. Nick and his jeep will be spending a couple days apart - he used it to terrorize the neighbors decorations today. I finally got him to clam down and we watched some Halloween episodes of his favorite shows but I guess when I finally fell asleep him got up and left because Ellie was yelling in the house that Nick was outside.
I went back in and did take my nap while Rob watched the kids play outside but the kids kept coming in and out of the front door and making a ton of noise so it wasn't so peaceful but still a nap. I went out to play with the kids for a while before it was time to come in and do bath and dinner time. Nick had socks on and still had dirt in between his toes - yuck. We had left over night again just needed to chicken sausages and some fruit. Dad dropped by to drop off Sweetest Day treats - my Mom took care of my overwhelming desire for homemade chocolate chip (3 different kinds) cookies. Mom made mint meringues for the kids - which Nick felt the need to pick apart.
Rob took Nick up for bedtime and Ellie and I snuggled and started her new library book. Ellie went up when Nick was asleep and I am sitting here blogging. Nothing too terrible going on today - just tired. Visualising my healthy body, my non-remarkable xeolda course and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree