So, I woke up yesterday knowing I was going for my first colonoscopy later in the morning. Not really something a relatively health 34 year old wants to be doing - but, hey I have some issues and need to know some answers. My sister took me to my appointment and we had some laughs while waiting for my name to be called. Finally I was called back and told to place all my clothes and shoes in a bag a place the ugly hospital gown on. The nurse came in to take vitals and start my IV (now is probably a good time to say I don't fear needles but I really don't care for them - I have rolling veins and it is usually not a painless process). I finally got rolled into the procedure room which is cold and white. Oxygen was placed in my nose. The doctor finally came in and talked to me - found out what brought me there today and a basic overview of what he'd be doing.
The doctor pushed the drugs into the IV and I was soon in twilight. It's bizarre I could hear talking, I was watching the scope on the monitor but in retrospect I don't really remember.
I was pushed into a recovery room and my sister was brought in. The doctor came in with paperwork which he laid on the bed and looked at me and said, "It's not good news - its cancer." That is where his voice went into that Charlie Brown voice to me and I really stopped comprehending.
I got dressed, tears streaming down my body and my sister walked me out. Needless to say every thought goes through your head - I have two young children, I am only 34, I am healthy - I don't drink, I cut out caffeine, I am a vegetarian. How could this happen to me.
Yesterday afternoon, evening and most of today has been spend crying. I only had one piece of information. I tried to sleep last night but my body wouldn't stop shaking and every image that came into my head caused by body to heat up and my heart felt like it was pumping out of my body and that I might just vomit.
This was the worst day of my life.
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i'm so sorry, tree. words can't express how i feel about hearing this. on the positive side, you caught it early! my family has a history of colon cancer....you've motivated me to schedule an early colonoscopy. please let me know if/how i can help you in any way! love to you :)
ReplyDeleteMrs. Buckee - I was so taken aback to hear the news from Buck over the weekend. Having said that...I told him you are a strong lady and you can fight anything!!! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I thank you for blogging and sharing your journey. I also thank you for being an inspiration. My Dad had colon cancer 8 years ago (and is doing just fine now), and his surgeon urged my sister and I to get our baseline colonoscopy's way back then. Needless to say, I've been "working up to it," and am about to turn 44 in a couple of weeks. I think I will now make this a top priority.
ReplyDeletePlease know I am thinking about you each day, and wishing you strength and peace as you work through this. You are loved and supported from way out here in Las Vegas!!! Love you - Rachel (Swootsie)