I couldn't watch Grey's Anatomy last night. I watched the first 10 minutes and then felt a heat in my stomach - a bit too much drama for me right now. Rob and Ellie came home from the fashion show around 8:45 and he tucked her in.
Ellie had a 1/2 day at school today but her best bud invited her to an open gym play time after school. Nick and I headed to Mom's right after Ellie got on the bus - I had to be at the hospital by 9:15. I got to my simulation appointment and waited in the waiting room for a bit - overhearing some entertainment conversations. Dr. Nanda came into to make sure I didn't have any final questions - I asked about the stomach vs. back radiation and if laying on my stomach couldn't fry other organs. He assured me the majority of the radiation would be pointed directly and that he has seen better skin results with stomach vs. back. Jenny, the radiation simulation nurse came to get me. We walked down the the "control room". The big CT scan machine was center stage and she had me climb up on the table and arrange myself like I would when having a massage. There was a cut out pillow for me to place my face in and my arms under and then she proped my feet. Jenny marked my back/sides in a couple places with pen and bbs and attached an adhesive sticker (similar to bitewing x-rays the dentist uses) to my butt. I was told to lie still and was pulled through the scanner about a dozen times - a couple times Jenny came to re-arrange the marks. Finally she told me I was finished and she would do my permanent tattoos. I have 3 - the one on my right and in the middle of my back are smaller than the one on my left - I am hoping the ink might have just bled. So, that experience confirmed I am not a tattoo person and won't be making these marks into flowers, names or gnomes. The second confirmation I received from this experience is that I will not be getting a brazilian wax - ever - the 1,2,3 countdown does nothing for preparing you for the adhesive about to pulled from you.
Jenny had set-up my dress rehearsal appointment for next Tuesday - a series of final films and a fry run through - I will start on Wednesday. I walked over to Kellogg for my appointment with Margaret. She met me in the lobby and we went up to a room. She had an armload of information for me. I had this pouch of xeloda info and such - including a 7 day pill box just for my xeloda. Margaret explained to me that they have found that if the xeloda is stored with other medication it will "eat" through the other medication - wonderful - will it be eating through me? There was even a Betty Crocker cookbook - Cooking for Cancer - really Betty? There was a tube of lotion to keep my hands and feet moisturized. In another bag were handouts on melanoma and samples of sunscreen - vitamin D is on the back burner for the next 6 weeks. There was a huge pamphlet from chemotherapy. Margaret then walked me down to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. The pharmacist talked me through everything and gave me the same talk my ob/gyn gave me years back - try to stay ahead of the symptoms. Now, in addition to packing the snack bag for the kids I will apparently be packing my "what if" bag of drugs and saltines.
Margaret led me down the hall to meet with the dietitian - not my new best friend dietitian. I guess I was looking for something more from her or just something different - not a sample of ensure. I finally got on my way back to Mom's. Mom made Nick and Ellie their summer blankets today - Nick has Bob the Builder and Ellie has High School Musical. Mom made Nick and me some eggs for lunch and then we were off to pick up Ellie from her playtime.
I crashed when we came home - Nick ran amok, Ellie read some of her new books and did some art. Mom called and somehow wanted to take Ellie and Nick for a sleepover tonight - they were thrilled. When Rob got home from work I packed the kids up and we dropped them at Mom's (except we forgot their new blankets). Rob and I went out for dinner before a thrilling trip to Target to pick up necessities - paper towels, detergent, fast acting acid reducers and popsicles. Mom called to say the blankets were needed so we were on our way back to drop those off.
Rob and I are now home, each on our laptops and enjoying a glass of cab/merlot. I am getting a bit anxious about next week - this plan sounded great the last couple weeks but now that I have all the pills and know all the side effects I am a bit scared, too. I'm going to go enjoy our night sans kids - visualizing my healthy body, love to all, Tree
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Just remember...you were not my throw up kid, you did not have morning sickness, and you have a calm personality...I predict you will do OK with this stuff...we'll be prepared for anything, but I'm looking at this positively! As always, we'll do what we have to do and move on! Love you sweetie! Mom
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