Last infusion today!!!!

I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night - I think I was worried that today was supposed to be it but my bloodwork (which I really have no control over) is the deciding factor. I went up to bed around 3AM. This morning Ellie was super nervous, I think it was probably 50/50 my infusion and her isat tests. Ellie couldn't eat breakfast - her stomach was hurting her she said she felt like a headache was coming on. I told her I couldn't give her ibuprofen unless she ate something and she was able to eat a yogurt. I packed her extra snacks for school today. Ellie ran to the bus and got there just as the bus was pulling up.
I finished packing my lunch up and some snacks and Nick and I were on our way to Mom's house. We had brought with a drawer/cart thing to finish organizing the kitchen. It was pretty much a drop and go for me today. I got to Kellogg and checked in and stopped by the pharmacy to see Katee and ask about the mouth wash and refill a prescription. I was with Janet today, a new nurse for me but one who had great enthusiasm about it being my last infusion. Janet did my port prep and draw. She looked at my skin and asked if I had already had a dressing on today - nope just super sensitive skin. Janet applied a new dressing - one that she said is good for sensitive skin - what is nice is it is padded.
I went up for my Dr. Marsh appointment. We didn't really have to discuss side effects from last time because this was my last time. We went over the general game plan for the next year or so. He doesn't need to see another CT scan until May but if Dr. Muldoon wants for surgery then he will just use that one. Assuming we are going to see no evidence of disease again then I will have the next 6 months from then. I will go for a colonoscopy about a year from diagnosis, early May. I can have Scarlett still when I get my colonoscopy which I think really lessens the prep to clear liquids. Dr. Marsh said it is not unusual to find a polyp or two after this amount of time and if found they will be removed and biopsied. He said it would be the decision of the new GI doctor but I can expect colonoscopies every 1-3 years depending on what is/isn't found each time.
I will pursue genetic testing as a tool for our future and to talk about with the kids doctors. I will have Scarlett reversed and then Dr. marsh would like to see Plum depart not too soon after that - he said there is really no use to keep her in. I don't think I forgot anything but you never know with chemo brain. Dr. Marsh did his exam and everything looked and sounded fine. Margaret placed an order for magic mouth wash - I am a bit scared to actually swish with it, though, because a flash came up and it said it was not a viable prescription with my compazine allergy but Katee assured me there wasn't compazine in it. We finally got my bloodwork results and everything was great and I was on my way to my infusion. I got awesome hugs from Dr. Marsh and Margaret and went back downstairs.
Janet started my pre-meds and then my anti-nauseas and then finally the folfox. Deb came down to give me a hug and Sally came to visit me too. Next week is the last week of her fellowship so she gave me Meg's info for follow up. I tried to sleep today but between my friends coming in to say goodbyes and the pump alarm going off it was pretty much not happening. Sally and I did talk for a couple minutes about the both the void and the re-newal this last infusion will cause. The void of time and medical attention that I have had pretty regularly for the last 9 months and the re-newal of things that I get to do again. We also briefly talked about how I have had some feelings about how my particular journey has had its difficult parts. I don't outwardly look sick, yes I have some bags under my eyes, yes my eyebrows and eyelashes have really lightened, yes I am sometimes exhausted but I didn't loose my hair, my complexion didn't change and I was able to get through this with minimal side effects and no real physical sickness.
Janet was a speedy nurse and sped up my pump a bit today and I was able to get out of there a bit after one. I picked up prescriptions from Katee and then was on my way to Mom's house. Mom and Nick did a wonderful job organizing the kitchen into the drawers and Mom and Nick had found, printed and glued on clip art onto each of the drawers to indicate what was in each. Nick apparently ate a huge lunch today and had an equal beverage intake. I got to lie down on the couch for a bit before it was time to get Ellie from the bus.
Nick stayed with Mom and Rob picked him up after work while I took Ellie up to CW for her session with Trish. We talked on the way about her day and how she utilized some of the breathing techniques that Trish and her had been working on to get through her tests. We got to CW and Ellie and Trish went in a room for their session but Ellie came out a few moments later to ask if I would like to play a game with them today, of course I said yes. I wasn't fond too fond of the game - The Goodbye Game (obviously pertaining to death) but when Ellie asked why all the questions dealt with death, Trish said what we were really trying to extract was feelings. Ellie was very silly during the game and I am honestly really glad she was - she had a super stressful day and this was her way of unwinding. I left them to finish their session and went to wait on the couch and drink some tea.
Ellie and Trish came out and they told me about another breathing technique they learned and Ellie had her scribble book to take home with us. Trish suggested a family journal and apparently Ellie told her she has an art journal she keeps at school with Ms. Doolas, we have a laugh journal Grams got us for Valentine's day, I have a blog I write daily and she had another journal - so our ouse is pretty full of jounrals - too funny. We came home and picked up some yogurt for Ellie on the way and some dinner. We came home and Rob and Nick had a great time together and we got dinner ready for the kids. Rob had made me a new pot of tea and had a cup ready for me for dinner.
We ate dinner and caught up - Ellie shared her special scribble journal with us and when Rob asked if she would like him to take it school to bind it she said no because she was going to continue to add to it. We got vitamins, brushed teeth and got the kids into bed. Rob took some extra time with Ellie to ensure she was relaxed to get a good nights sleep. Nick has taken to "reading" me his nightly books and he does a very good job of summarizing.
Rob and I have been hanging out on the couch - listening to tv as we play on the computer. I feel pretty good right now - just hand tinglies and a bit of a rumbly tummy. I am going to wait until after my disconnect to try the mouth wash and I will make sure I try it when Rob is home just in case. Katee said it is basically lidocaine, benadryl, maalox, nystatin, tetracycline and some other stuff - its anti-biotic, anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory and an anti-histime - a whole bunch of anti's. Visualising my healthy and continually healing body and the new normal - coming soon, Tree