Melancholy kinda

I'll be honest I stay up at night because sleep is hard but I am so tired. We were up early to get Ellie picture ready - I curled her hair and she got dressed in her "picture" outfit - I think back to kindergarten and 1st and 2nd grade remembering what she wore and can't believe how she has grown up. Ironically, I had to give up tea this week before my operation so I have taken up coffee again - only half a cup but wow. I packed Ellie her lunch and got Nick and I dressed and we walked her to the bus. Nick and I hung around here for a bit - he really enjoys the new Dr. Suess show on PBS. We eventually made it to Mom's for our last adventure pre-op - a trip to Target, Michaels and Trader Joe's.
I have gathered a number of small treats for the kids when they visit me at the hospital - stickers, books and craft stuff - I added another couple packs of stickers today. I got my magnesium citrate - I need to drink 2 bottles and at least 5 cups of water tomorrow afternoon to prep for surgery - can't believe I was just able to purchase it over the counter - seems if its that powerful it should have a prescription. Mom picked up Camp Rock 2 for Ellie and the new Thomas for Nick and Tony. Even though today was basically it for food as I know it I really haven't been hungry - I think I have the same mindset as I did with my colonoscopy - the less in the less out.
We decided on Italian for dinner - stuffed shells, chicken meatballs, broccoli and cauliflower and watermelon. We had even more choices for dessert - a chocolate buffet from ice cream sandwiches to peanut butter cups. We picked Ellie up from the bus and Ellie started her homework (hard because its not due until Friday but I thought it would be less chaotic tonight than tomorrow). When Rob came home the kids went outside and were truly a huge laugh. Nick created the neighborhood band - he came in asking for rope to tie his drum around his neck and hang. There were drums, maracas, a guitar and a keyboard - so funny.
Mom and Dad came over for dinner - Mom bought champagne to celebrate the brand new normal me and being healthy and it was quite delicious. We had a real nice family dinner and then Dad gave Nick his bath. Mom and Ellie tried to see what the Camp Rock CD had on it - but we need to download so new update first.
Mom and Dad left and I went up to say goodnight to the kids - I am kinda sad - I know in my heart that everything will be fine but I have seriously never been more than maybe 18 hours without them. I savored their hugs and kids - even butterfly kisses.
I found out great news today - the anesthesiologist that our good friend, Kate recommended will be my anesthesiologist for my surgery. Our good friend Kate will also be my nurse for the surgery - so comforting. The things I am able to control have just increased and just make me so much more confident.
Tomorrow we are going to have the best morning ever - not sure what we are doing yet but I know it will be the best. I start my prep at 1PM - and will find out what time I need to be there Friday.
I was told by Dr. Mendoza-Temple that there is power in collective positive energy - so here is where I need all my family and friends to help me out. If you would please keep your positive energy, prayers, thoughts coming my way in the next couple days and specifically on Friday I would really appreciate it. I will post my surgery time tomorrow and if you would concentrate on that time that would be awesome and if you feel like - say my mantra or think it - visualising my healthy body, my speedy recovery, being cancer free and the new normal me - whatever that shall be, Tree