Dragonflies and Drugs

Yes, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm back once again. I'm starting early tonight because I'm mentally and emotionally fried. I hear a glass of wine calling my name...

The day started out perfectly. A nice breeze, sunshine and a facebook post from Theresa saying she was truly excited about starting clear liquids. Couldn't believe she was typing away on that little itouch with her swollen little fingers. She told me she was single finger typing with her left pointer and it took about 10 minutes to do a sentence. Dedication! Also a sign for me that she was craving connection again. It was a day for connection. Rob took the kids up after Church and they had a great visit. Gary's Mom & Dad, Grandma & Grampa GG, stopped in to see how things were going. Dean came by and so did Kate. Theresa made 3 loops around the corridor today and her catheter was removed. She really enjoyed her cherry ice. Rob and the kids came by here at 4:30 for Sunday dinner. My neighbor and good friend Katherine supplied the entree...thank you very much. Ellie helped me with the sides and fruit. Jo, Ole and Tony couldn't be with us and although we enjoy these meals together, Ellie hit it right on the head when she announced that Sunday dinner just wasn't the same without Mama. Theresa and Jo are my wing girls on Sundays...really always, if truth be told. I really missed them today. Just before dinner was ready Ellie came running into the kitchen to rush me out to the yard...hurry...you've got to see this! I figured Nick was doing something funny again. I walked out onto the deck to behold something I have never seen in my life...hundreds of dragonflies swarming our backyard. Not the yard to the East; not the yard to the West; our backyard. Mesmerizing, fascinating, beautiful! After Rob left with the kids, I googled the symbolism of dragonflies. The dragonfly is considered to be a messenger connected with renewal, positive force and the power of life in general. In my heart I believe those dragonflies were here for Theresa. For her new healthy body and positive change in becoming the new, happy normal girl whoever she may be. Whimsical, but I like the thought. I called after my research to ask if there was anything she wanted us to bring when we saw her tonight. A faint little voice answered the phone. She had been vomiting through the late afternoon and evening. She had been restricted to ice chips once again. So we were told to just come....no supplies. We headed over to find her in a dark room, basin on her chest, cool cloth on her head and tears in her eyes. I rubbed her feet. She said they had given her anti-nausea drugs and she was pumping her pain meds freely. Maybe she tried too much today. Maybe the broth and cherry ice just went down too fast. She's not a happy camper. They will probably replace the catheter. She said something about having a stomach scan, but she wasn't in a conversational mood and I know better than to push. I gave her a head and temple massage, I felt like I was taking care of my little, little girl again. We kissed goodnight. We told her to rest...sleep, if possible, and I will see her in the morning. I called Rob on the way out to catch him up on the events of the evening and to tell him that Theresa wouldn't be calling in her good nights to the kids. We agreed to tell them that I put her to sleep massaging her feet and we didn't want to wake her up. Hoped that worked...Ellie does read between the lines! I cried on the way home. There is nothing we can physically do. All we can do is trust in her doctors and nurses and keep her in our thoughts and prayers.

So, in closing, maybe we should not be focusing so much on a speedy recovery, but a complete, easy recovery. Her body is working so hard! Please join me in visualizing Theresa's healthy body, a safe, complete recovery, and a new happy, normal Theresa whoever that may be. Paula