If only I could have spent the day

Stayed up last night and watched the Showtime Freeview of Nurse Jackie -1st season is now on my netflix. I received an email from Dr. Mendoza Temple with the results of my vitamin D screening and I am deficient - ironic how one test shows I am fine but another shows deficient - modern medicine. Anyhow - she increased my dose from 2000 IU/day to 10,000 (just for the next 8 weeks) and then we will re-test. Dr. Marsh also released all my pre-op blood work - I was very sad to see that my white blood count is the lowest is ever has been - I really thought I would rebound after the chemo and radiation faster.
My "hot flashes" have started - nothing to do with hormones - I had them when I was first diagnosed and now they are back. Ellie woke up before all of us today - she was already downstairs when Rob got ready for work. We got Ellie to the bus and headed to Mom's house. On the ride over Nick wanted to know if I would just be leaving him and driving myself to my appointment because that is what he wanted. I gave him and Tony a kiss and hug and was on my way to a calmer place. Patricia was ready for me when I arrived - we discussed how I am able to sleep better but anxiety is rising still. Patricia inserted as many ear seeds as she could fit - 4 in each ear and then she did my acupuncture - even one on the bridge of my nose for my spirituality. I went somewhere today during that hour I was there - it was a very calm place and I wish I could stay there all week. Patricia came back to check in and then at the end and I really didn't want it to end. We hugged and she said she would be sending positive energy my way.
I had to make a stop at the outpatient lab to give a urine sample - something no one mentioned last week during any of my lab trips. They have a new number system and it took about 30 minutes to get to my number and then the tech told me there wasn't an order for urine. I was told to go to Dr. Lay's office and get an order - such nonsense. Anyhow - they finally gave me a cup and I was on my way - needless to say my zen calm was depleted.
I called Mom to see if she wanted me to bring lunch home and I heard Nick in the background asking for fries. I picked up lunch and headed back to Mom's. The boys had a picnic on the floor and finished watching Chipmunks then it was on to Ponyo. I curled up on the couch and Nick soon joined me and then Tony jumped in back of me - no sleeping but great cuddles. Nick and I went back home to get Ellie and said our goodbyes to Mom and Tony. Ellie came home bubbly - she did her homework and then Nick and her played incredibly well together.
Dean and Rob's Mom were coming over for our last dinner before Mom returns back to Florida tomorrow. The kids were very excited to have them over at our house and showed off a bit. We had a nice dinner together followed by a mini dance recital - it is very funny to me - Nick has never seen Rob dance yet he embodies all of Rob's dance moves - scary. We said our farewells to Dean and Nana and the kids got in the tub for their baths. Ellie has school pictures tomorrow so we did a mini fashion show to see what she would wear - a new short sleeve shirt with little ruffles and floral design with a matching skirt.
Rob is trying to put the kids to bed but they were pretty riled up from all the dancing and it doesn't sound like bedtime is going successfully. Tomorrow is my last eating day until possibly Monday - what am I craving - I think I will need to get a day full of chocolate. I am feeling anxious in a different way - setting everything up for the week I could be gone - getting matching outfits together for the kids. I forgot to schedule a haircut for Nick so that will just be put off a bit longer. I picked up special lunchbox messages for Ellie's lunches while I am in the hospital. I have a couple little treats for them when they come to visit. Visualising my healthy body, a speedy recovery, being cancer free and the new normal me - whatever that shall be, Tree