I cannot remember if I posted it last night or not but I realized on our car ride home last night that I hadn't taken my ativan in a couple nights and I was able to sleep - right there was the problem - the realization. Rob and I visited until he grew tires and went up to bed - I watched SNL until about 11:30 and drifted to sleep for about an hour - that was it - I was UP. I watched bad tv, I played on the computer, I closed my eyes and tried to get tired - I watch the clock reset at 2 AM. I took 1 mg of ativan and watched tv for another hour or so - I tired to go up to bed around 3:30 - but I was awake for about another hour or so. I swear I just need a sugar pill the same size, shape and color of ativan and I would be fine.
I slept in until 8:30 and came down and Rob already had the paper inside and had poured me a bowl of coffee. I convinced Rob to go get us breakfast - he did and I read the ads - nothing too great. We ate breakfast and I read through the rest of the paper. I put away our mammoth laundry baskets - probably 6 loads of laundry and realized I had the equivalent to wash. I called Mom's to see how the kids were doing and find out what time they wanted us to pick them up. Rob and I had until noon - so we hit Target to do a bit of grocery shopping and just essentials. We had the best time and got such deals - all Halloween was 90% off - I picked up individual packs of animal crackers for .29 for a 20 pack - got Nick the Cars costume he saw at the beginning of the week for $3.00. Best buy was kleenex which I had a coupon for buy 3 boxes get the 4th free and the coupon came up at full value of $5.99 - free kleenex. We picked up the new Just Dance for wii - can't wait until my shoulder feels a little better - although I thank you all for keeping my in your positive thought waves because it feels so much better today. All in all - we got a cart full of stuff and saved almost what we spent.
We went to get the kiddos from Mom and Dad's - Nick was playing with Thomas and Ellie and Mom were putting together an American Girl bulletin board from the craft store. We cleaned up and were on our way home to do some yard cleaning and general maintenance. We raked the front of the house forward and had a ginormous pile of leaves - I raked until my shoulder began to hurt and then stopped. I went inside and Rob let the kids play outside while he did some more straightening and cleaned out his car. They eventually came in and Nick played upstairs with his trains and Ellie played a couple board games with Rob. The kids both went into quasi meltdown mode - I am sure lack of sleep and such. I took Nick down to cuddle on the couch and watch some tv while Rob took Ellie downstairs to play some more games.
I did another load of laundry before making our way to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Anyone who is interested in an ok red wine - Three Wishes is at Whole Foods for $2.97 a bottle - we tried it tonight and while it is not full bodied, it is better than two buck chuck - in our opinion. Mom had made 12 clove garlic chicken noodle soup for dinner - it was so good. She also had fruit, sweet potato fries, spinach and cheese pies - yum. The kids were both suffering from sleep deprivation so we called it an early night and came home for a quick bath and bedtime.
My port is feeling so much better today - 4th day of healing is the charm. It still has some break through pain but nothing like it has been. I did realize when I was looking at my body today that my surgical incisions are almost fully scars now. Which also led me to 6 months ago - while I was recently diagnosed I was without 8 incisions, 3 tattoos, an ileostomy and a port but now I am without 42 lymph nodes and a cancerous tumor - kinda melancholy - kinda sur-realistic - yet right in my face.
Still looking for the positive weather thought wave for Saturday - it is my goal to at least walk 2 miles a couple times this week - that way I can push on Saturday. I bought a couple of camisoles at Target today because a bra is still out of the question but I know I don't want to walk without one. Visualising my healthy body, more pain free port days and the new normal me - whomever that shall be, Tree
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
How and where did Rob grow those tires? Glad the port pain is diminishing. The best part of your body realizations is that you are free of that nasty tumor and some potentially dangerous lymph nodes. Everything else is a pain, but fortunately, not life threatening. What is amazing is how much stuff you have been through physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually in just six months. "Tough chick" is such a good logo for you. We are impressed and amazed with your strength...keep it up. We're here to support you in any way we can. Love you, Mom and Dad
ReplyDeleteT... if you want strap those puppies down for the race, a simple ace badge will do and that shouldn't put pressure on your port area. I was going to suggest a strapless, but they never stay in place, and with all that jostling you'll just be pulling it up all through the race.
ReplyDeleteJ