Surgical consult complete

I slept rather poorly last night - couldn't fall into a deep sleep and had too much running through my head. Ellie was up first but we were all up soon after. We had breakfast and headed off to Mom's to drop the kids off before Rob and I went for my consult with Dr. Muldoon. The kids happily gave us hugs and said goodbye and we were out the door. I checked in and went to get my vitals taken - I gained a pound and my blood pressure was not 92/68 like last week but 128/80 - a bit stressed out. Rob and I were told to wait in the waiting room until the Dr. was ready. We were brought into the exam room and Dr. Muldoon and Amber, his resident, came in for my appointment. We went over my chemo and radiation history and then went over the surgery which will be done robotic and not laproscopic - the difference he said is laproscopic is like working with chopsticks versus robotic gives him more maneuverability. The surgery itself will take 4-5 hours and I should expect to be in the hospital 4-7 days afterwards. Two big unfortunate details - he will not insert my port while I am in surgery or even while I am in for those 4-7 days and he will be placing a temporary (until about a month after chemo ends, as long as 8 months) ileostomy. When I heard the latter I began to cry and took a couple minutes to gain composure again - this is not something a 34 year old want to hear much less envision - very sad he really didn't leave an option available - this is what he will do.
The way Dr. Muldoon explained it - when I go into for surgery I am 0%, by the time I am discharged I should be at 40% and then in the recuperation stage (about 4-5 weeks) I will get up to about 90% and that is when chemo will start and I should be 100% after that is completed. He will remove the entire rectum and a portion of my sigmoid colon and then re-attach the healthy colon - this will be secured by wither permanent staples or a pressure ring. I could be involved in his research study on the pressure ring - which eventually when inflammation disappears will exit my colon - not sure about this yet. The big bad possibilities of surgery - I could begin to bleed after the surgery, I could require a blood transfusion, I have an increased risk of infection, I could have a heart attack or stroke - but all of these are minimal due to my age and health. Dr. Muldoon said that both radiation and chemo are still working in my body so I could schedule surgery anytime between 6-10 weeks after I was finished - meaning anytime between August 23 and September 15 - I am opting for after Labor Day just have to call and schedule.
Dr. Muldoon said I could meet with him again if I have more concerns or questions and I need to meet with a ileostomy nurse before surgery to get more comfortable with the thought of it. There are various tests and procedures I need to get done before surgery too. Rob and I left and although I am not very happy with the idea of not getting my port put in while heavily drugged and getting an ileostomy at age 34 - I will deal with it knowing Dr. Muldoon is the best at what he does. Dr. Muldoon did say the weeks leading up to surgery are usually the most nerve racking and I can say I am sure he is correct - might need to up the dose of ativan. We went back to Mom's and I had another good cry on Mom's shoulder. We ate lunch together and then Rob went home to mow the lawn while Mom had a painting craft for the kids. We set up the picnic table outside and gave the kids a wooden birdhouse and paint and they went nuts - very different approaches. After painting we washed the kids down and headed inside - it was super hot and humid today. Movie du jour - Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Tony took a nap and the rest of up relaxed. Rob came back to get the kids and I waited for Jo to come home and we went to Target.
Jo, Tony and I shopped at Target while Rob, Ellie and Nick made a ghetto fabulous visqueen slip and slide in our yard. Jo dropped me back at home and we got the kids in for a bath - they were covered in grass clippings. I was reading a magazine and read this page article on Andy's Custard in Evanston and thought it might be a nice treat so even though the kids were in pajamas we took a drive and got custard and it was quite tasty. We walked around downtown Evanston afterwards because we were all pretty full. In one store front there was a t-shirt modeled after the Obama campaign logo (the silhouette face in red and blue) that read "Blago - its time for a real change - 2012 - too funny but maybe only to us Chicagoans. On our way home, while traveling west on Howard a car decided to dart out and try to turn left right in front of ua and all I can say is - I am thrilled we are built Ford tough. I laid on the horn and really stomped on the brakes and although there was an impact - it was small. Ellie almost immediately was sucking back tears - thank goodness no one was hurt - just stirred up. I called the police and we got off of Howard and pulled into the parking lot. The guy was able to pull out his bent in front fender and real honestly we just appear to have a scratch on out bumper. The police officer came and took our information and eventually gave us a copy of his report and we were able to get on home. The guy was (at least) getting 2 tickets - one for failure to yield and one for not having his current insurance card present.
We got home and had settle down time - Ellie was pretty rattled and was concerned that Nick might have bit his tongue during impact or hit his head on the toy he was playing with - poor girl carries too much worry. The kids are now both asleep and I am too emotionally up tight to sleep. I know that I will come to better terms with my surgery and all that it involves but for today (and maybe tomorrow) I am a bit upset and sad. Visualising my healthy body, Tree