Opening weekend in Michigan

I honestly can't recall all that has happened since Thursday - so this will be the highlights post. On a positive note my radiation treatments really seem to be very quick now - Mom was able to drop me at the door, run to the post office and we were almost perfectly timed for pick-up. On a negative note some pesky side effects are starting.
Ellie had a half day Friday and Rob took a half day so we got to start our ride to Michigan a bit early - not that it really helped still over 3 hours in the car. Jo, Ole and Tony decided to finally take us up on our offer (and constant begging) and join us for some of the weekend - they had the ride from hell, though - over 5 hours.
The new kitchen is awesome - somehow removing the wall seems to have tripled our space. The cabinets look great, Rob did a great job on picking out the tile and installing it and the limestone counter tops are stellar. The original plan for the weekend was to wash everything from the kitchen and get the kitchen re-organized, however, our contractor still needs to sand the ceiling and prime and paint so that would be counter-productive. I ran to get some groceries and Ellie took it upon herself to wash silverware and pans for the weekend (nice surprise). Jo and Ole didn't arrive until late Friday but we let the kids stay up to see them. We all headed to bed shortly after they arrived. Nick fell out of his newly converted crib to toddler bed during the night.
Saturday we divided and conquered. Jo and I took the kids and went to try to find a new kitchen garbage can and the ceiling fan and pendant lights for the kitchen - we ended up with a scooter, a matchbox car garage and a child size sombrero - thank you Goodwill. The boys did some work around the cottage and then took their own road trip. The gang all went down to the beach for a couple hours so I could nap on the couch. How would have thought Memorial Day weekend would be a beach weekend? Jo and I went into town to look for light again (found the pendants at Menards) and for sides for dinner. We ended up doing some damage at Walmart - we found Toy Story cowboy boots for Nick and Tony on clearance and High School Musical shoes for Ellie. Jo found her treasured purchase - adult size jellie sandals. We laughed so much I cried. We went to the soda bar for some ice cream and I came back not feeling so well. Everyone was over tired from the previous night so the kids went to bed early.
Sunday we also divided and conquered. We went up to Holland (in hopes of some jellie sandals in other colors) and the boys road tripped for some car rims. No real finds on this adventure - I did get the kids bathing suits for the beach and I got a pair of gym shoes. We shared lunch together before Jo, Ole and Tony left us to got back to Chicago. Rob took the kids to the beach so I could get my afternoon nap in. We visited with the neighbors when they got back - Ellie played with their girls. We had some dinner and then went into Menards to see if we could make a couple more decisions. We lucked out - found a ceiling fan we both liked and cabinet pulls for the kitchen. We stopped at Nemo's for some ice cream and headed back for the sunset - and it was beautiful.
Today was the worst day for me. I just generally didn't feel good I alternated between crampy yuck to just a bad stomach/head ache. We cleaned up the cottage, our contractor came over for his "to do" list - which seemed to grow this weekend. We got on the road right before the rain started and then it rained the entire trip home. Another 3 + hour ride - this one I really felt. The kids are nuts right now and its bedtime - so I better close up. Visualizing my health body - my normal body - my pain free body. Hope everyone had a very nice weekend, Tree

Second day down

So, by the end of dinner last night I had a garbage can by my side - my stomach was not feeling well at all. I took my evening dose of xeloda and tried one of the anti-nausea pills - I was hoping for the best. Compazine could be my new best friend - by the time Rob got down from putting Ellie to sleep my stomach was settled and I was feeling better.

Typical morning - got Ellie on the bus, ate some breakfast, took my meds and it was time to go to Mom's. I woke up with my killer cramps again - I'm not sure what they are all about bu they are so intense I actually have to bend down and stop what I am doing until they pass. Mom, Nick and Tony were coming with me today to keep me company. Each of the boys had a bag with a book, fruit snacks, a car and their sippy cup (Nick also had a comb to make his hair crazy - not really sure about this one). On the way down the long hall to the waiting room Mom and I both thought Nick lost something out of his bag - when we looked down to see what it was - it was the biggest cockroach we have ever seen. It just sat there for a moment and then eventually crept its way through the doorjamb - gross. Mom and both agreed we would never put anything on the floor at the hospital again. I checked in and didn't even have a chance to sit down before they called my name.

I know the routine now so I just walked in and got on the table - it went so quickly today. I asked about the cramps and they said they didn't feel they were a side effect of the radiation but to keep note of when they happen. We left the hospital and decided to take a road trip since I was still feeling good. We went to Party City - picked up some squirt guns and then went to Garden Fresh for some produce. We headed home because the boys were both very cranky. Tony fell asleep in the car - I tried to fall asleep and Nick looked like he might fall asleep. Nick and I decided to head home for lunch and a nap.

We got Ellie off the bus and came inside until Rob got home from work. Tonight was the end of the school picnic at Ellie's school. We walked over there and got there early so we were able to get seats at a table to eat. Ellie and Nick went through the obstacle course a couple times and the jumpy jump and played at the playground. I started not feeling so well so we decided not to wait for the firetruck and walked home. Today, I can tell you where the "x" marks are on my butt - doesn't hold a bunch of promise for another 5 weeks of treatment. It alternates between a sunburn like feeling to a feeling of a small drill bit penetrating my skin. I took my evening xeloda and a compazine and the combo isn't working as well as it did last night - still feel like I might vomit at any moment. I am sure I will figure out the drug combo thing eventually but right now I don't feel safe popping multiple pills. I kind of have a headache but I fear advil or tylenol might push my stomach over.

We are headed to Michigan tomorrow - so I won't be able to post until Monday. I hope everyone has a wonderful long Memorial Day weekend. I am visualising my calm stomach, my ache free head and my healthy body, Tree

First treatment down - 34 to go

Millietime provided some much needed laughter last night. The pineapple vodka was not as addicting as I remembered - it could be because I have become a lightweight or it could have just been nerves. We stayed late but we were all having so much fun. Came home and it was bedtime for the kids. Rob and I watched Parenthood and then it was bedtime for us. Even though I was dead tired I couldn't fall asleep - nerves.
Ellie and I managed our normal morning time but Nick slept in - until he fell out of bed. He hasn't fallen out of bed like ever and he totally was not happy to be woken up that way - I don't blame him. I got Ellie out to the bus and fixed breakfast for myself - with the xeloda I need to eat 30 minutes prior to taking it. I fixed some toast and eggs and waited 30 minutes. I took the time to load my xeloda pill box with the next weeks worth of doses. Finally it was time to take the pills - these are not horse size pills but they aren't baby pills either - I decided to take the pills one at a time and that seemed to work.
Nick and I headed to Mom's for "Morning Club" and that is when my tummy started to feel unsettled - I am sure it was nerves for the day but it never really went away all day. I had a cup of tea thinking that would help and then finally departed for my first radiation treatment. I got to the hospital and checked in and waited in the waiting room until I was called. I was taken to the same nice room as yesterday - treatment room 2. I noticed a screen hanging from the ceiling - I kind of felt like a celebrity - it told them how to set up the table for ME. Blue triangle pillow covered with two pillow cases, sheet on table, sheet covering legs... wow. I was told it would be just like the day before - climb on the table and pull pants down, they would move me - I should just lie still. As if I seriously don't have enough marks, tattoos and stickers on my ass right now they then told me for quality control they would be placing a diode on there too. I was moved left and right and pulled up and down and then they said they were ready. The treatment itself was probably only 8 minutes - same airplane sounds except the errrr noise lasted about 30 seconds at a time today.
They said I was done and they would see me tomorrow. I went back to Mom's and Nick and Tony were having movie time and eating popcorn. I was still feeling a bit queasy - that feeling hasn't left. We ate some lunch - I tried to close my eyes for a bit but the boys were too busy having fun. Nick and I came home and the mailman delivered our copy of Chitty Chitty bang Bang today - so I quickly played it and was able to lay down for a bit before getting Ellie off the bus.
Ellie and Nick played out with the neighbors and had a bunch of fun. Mom just arrived for dinner and helped the kids chocolate dip cookies and fruit for dessert - now its clean up time. I am trying to find something I can drink that doesn't make my tummy rumble. Dad is picking up dinner on his way here and then I hope the kids will want to go to bed early because that is what I want to do. I did share with Mom today that in the last 3 weeks about 2 dozen people have seen my butt - some very up close and personal - some just from across a room - but I am thinking about giving up all my pants and trading them in for chaps after this is all done and through with - I am getting pretty comfortable bearing all.
All in all - first day not bad - just exhausted. The therapist ended the appointment saying one down - 27 to go (that is on the radiation front) and on the xeloda front one down - 34 to go. Visualizing my shrinking tumor (as we speak) and my healthy body - and sleep. Thanks to all my family and friends for your loving wishes today, Tree

Someone let a toddler loose with a permanent marker

It was just such oppressive heat and humidity last night - it took a long time to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Rob and I watched the CSI Miami - I really could care less if only a couple people survive - maybe then the show would be interesting again.
Nick had a bad night - woke a couple times crying - I think it was heat related - he drank some water each time and tried to get comfortable. Ellie had her veramyst again and had a normal night. It is "snowing" cotton seeds here - the worst I have seen in years - the grass is white - no help for the seasonal allergy people.
Ellie headed out to school and I gave Nick a bath before we headed to Mom's aka Morning Club. Talk about the difference a couple weeks make - today he kept asking if I was leaving yet - as in he had things to do and I was taking up his time - too funny. I headed off to my home away from home for my dress rehearsal appointment. Jenny came and found me in the waiting room and brought me into a new room. It was a beautiful room - had a couple windows and a huge stained glass box on the ceiling - unfortunately, I lay on my stomach and got to look at my hands for the rehearsal. I asked Jenny about clothing - like what I should wear vs. not wear to my appointments and she said it didn't really matter. So, I said the radiation will just go through the clothing - cool - and that's where she said nope - you'll just slip your pants down for the radiation. She then informed me that after all this she'll be able to pick me out by my butt - lovely.
So, I got on the table - I do say table - there is no padding - its a solid wood board - not incredibly comfortable. They had a sheet on the table and then placed one on top of me when I slid my pants down. I got the same "massage" pillow for my head to lay on and my arms to tuck under and the prop for my feet. The other therapist then told me there were going to move me into position - I should just lay still - so moving the bottom sheet they moved me where they wanted me. I was told to lie perfectly still and the machines arms would move around me and in and out - allrighty. Then they began. I felt like I was the body of an airplane and the machine arms were my wings and landing gear - it honestly sounded just like when the pilot is adjusting the wing gear for takeoff or landing except about once every minute you would hear the errr sound of a x-ray being taken. I think they took about a dozen x-rays. Then they came back in and asked if I was allergic to any tape - I mentioned the paper tape doesn't seem to agree with me and then I felt them attaching large pieces of tape to my butt and back. I heard a marker mentioned and tattoos. I am still face down. I can feel the wetness of being marked by a marker and Jenny calling off numbers to the other therapist marking. Then one of the therapist came over and showed me this circular sticker and told me they would be attaching those as well and I should keep them on while showering and they would just replace them when needed. I was told the marks, tattoos and stickers make my life easier because it allows them to do their job quicker - okay. I got to see a couple of the images the physicist had done - very anatomical and right out the textbook for anatomy. I got dressed and met Becky to schedule the next 5 weeks of my life - 10:15 - if anyone is looking for me Monday - Friday at 10:15 - I'll be in radiation.
I picked up lunch and headed to Mom's. Nick was helping her with some cooking. So, without checking in the mirror first I turned around and asked Mom about the stickers - she said the sticker wasn't as bad as the marks. I quickly went to seek out a mirror - I have about a 3" mark leading up from the crack of my butt and some cross lines of that - I have two rather large "x" marks on my cheeks - this certainly does nothing to make my butt an object of attraction. Back at Mom's we were planning for Millietime tonight - a group of my Mom's buds and their girls - our extended family. Mom was planning to make margaritas but that didn't sound too appealing so I went looking for other things and found a full bottle of pineapple vodka - Mom and I bought it a couple years ago at Sams Liquors and we could never find it anywhere else - so smooth. Definitely looking forward to that over some ice.
I am now about to head back to Mom's for the evening and thought I would be much more level headed in writing before the pineapple vodka than after - but who knows. Tomorrow is it - I start taking the xeloda and going for daily radiation to shrink this tumor. Visualizing my healthy body and looking forward to some good girl talk, Tree

Sick day at the Henderson's

So, last night when I was giving the Nick and Ellie their vitamins and allergy medications - Ellie's nose spray only had one puff in it - we needed 4. I gave her a zyrtec instead - it worked successfully for years before we went to the allergist and got this prescription nose spray.
Since all our favorite Sunday night dramas have finished we watched our netflix - Post Grad. It was stupid humor - kind of what I needed. We watched some of the news and went up to bed. Around 4AM Nick was moaning so I went in to check on him and he had tossed off his covers - so I recovered him. About 4:30AM Ellie got out of bed to use the washroom - upon getting back into bed I heard the coughing begin - the post nasal drip bad cough. Ellie had started her bad mucus vomiting - sick day at the Henderson's.
We all got up around 7:15AM - I emailed Ellie's teacher and the school nurse and the allergist to get a refill. We all relaxed on the couch and watched cartoons. It was Nick's last Parent's Day Off class today but Ellie was still hugging a bucket so we passed on class. I suddenly wasn't feeling so hot myself. My whole body started aching and then it felt like I was having contractions - no they were just really horrible cramps. The aches and the cramps lasted through advil and the hot pad - eventually I just put mind over matter and got up. Ellie was starting to feel better a bit before lunch time. Nick just dealt with the situation and deconstructed the house. He emptied every puzzle onto the floor, dumped multiple bins of toys looking for "the one" toy and then spilled 30 ounces of water down the bookshelf and wall - ahhhhhh. Mom came over in the afternoon for a visit.
Ellie and Mom sorted Ellie's art box and we sat at the table eating some yummy havarti with dill. We stayed in our jammies all day. Our landscapers were here to make the lawn pretty again (still haven't gotten the sparkplug installed in our mower). Unfortunately, our two transplants don't look so healthy right now - I'm sure the 90 degree heat isn't helping out. However, the stone walkway is now permanent and looks lovely.
Had a long phone call from an old friend. Eventually, I had to get dressed to pick-up Ellie's prescription and get some groceries. Rob took Ellie to her last swimming class (I was hoping she had enough energy - she did) and Nick and I went shopping. While at the produce store when I was placing apples in a bag I noticed Nick eating something - wouldn't you know it - he was already into the fruit I had put in the cart - unwashed - ewwww! I have now started tying the bags as I put them into the cart.
We had dinner and put the kids to bed. Rob and I are both exhausted - the heat and humidity outside doesn't help. Tomorrow is my dress rehearsal and then onto the big event. Visualizing my healthy body - have a nice night family and friends, Tree

I'm gonna soak up to sun

Better night last night - Rob and I actually went up early and slept well. We were all up early and decided to all go to Church. We hung out after with some dear friends (with their words of tried and true wisdom) at the park. The kids ran around and got completely muddy but fun was had by all. We went home and put the sprinkler on to clean off the kids. Ironically, even in the 90 degree heat the sprinkler was too cold.
We sat outside and watched the kids play and go crazy in the water. I got some lunch together and we had a picnic outside - it was just great to be together and having a wonderful time. We cleaned up lunch (and the kids) and headed inside for a change back into clothing. Ellie and Rob took a walk to the park and Nick and I cuddled on the couch. I snuck a nap in and Nick joined Ellie and Rob outside.
We headed to Mom and Dad's early to get some playtime in before dinner. We celebrated Ole's birthday and ala Ole Mom made a virtual buffet of food. Ellie and Nick watered the plants (and the surrounding people) and played Frisbee. Jo, Ole and Tony arrived (we have missed them this past week while they've been on vacation). The kids loved catching up and playing together. We had dinner and dessert - the new mini drumstick ice cream cones are so cute - perfect size for kids.
We came home and I had presents behind the door. Some good friends dropped off a very cheerful pot of begonias and our neighbor picked us up some juice at Costco. Rob gave Nick a bath and I gave Ellie a shower - our kids had the stinky summer smell going on. Switched loads of laundry, Rob and Ellie headed up to bed and Nick fell asleep in my arms.
All in all a great day - way too warm for me - I like the 70 degree days. Less than 72 hours until my first treatment - my stomach is beginning to be in knots. I can't explain it - I know all this has the great goal of shrinking the tumor and getting the tumor to be symmetrical and easier to remove but the thought of the radiation and chemo regime has me a bit anxious and nervous - I hope I will get over it quickly. The greater picture is what I am looking forward to - my cancer free life. Hope everyone had a great weekend - visualizing my healthy body and very thankful for the wonderful friends and family in my life. Tree

What a beautiful day

I slept so terribly last night - I blamed the wine/ativan combo but my Mom is still trying to convince me its the stress streaming through my body. Rob was up and out early and I called Mom and Dad's to check on the overnight status.
I headed over to their house and got the kids dressed - we had some big fishing plans for the morning. We got the snack bag packed, the tackle box, Ellie's rod and Nick proudly had his fish backpack on his back. We got to the park and Dad baited Ellie's rod - we made the decision that nick would just have a weight and bob (for every one's safety - it was his first time fishing). Ellie has gotten real good at casting - I was super impressed. Unfortunately, the fish were not biting for us today - Dad did have something deep snag the hook but nothing came up but the line. We finally packed in the fishing equipment and picked up some lunch.
We had a nice lunch together at Mom's and then Dad took the kids to a couple parks. I headed to the deck for the last couple days of vitamin D I am allowed. I tried to nap out there but the neighbors were getting their lawn done and then the ice cream truck went by and then the birds were loud. I finally got too hot and headed to the couch for a nap. Dad and the kids came home about the same time Rob let me know he was home.
We came home and Ellie played outside with Rob while I tried to convince Nick to have some quiet time - not much luck. We finally decided on a walk and I remembered it was Skokie Festival of Cultures this weekend - so that's where we headed. The library was handing out little spinning dootie boppies. We walked around and ended up with Mexican food - Ellie really wanted the pierogis from the Polish place but I was watching the lady cook the potato pancake in about 5 ounces of oil. We ate our yummy tacos (the only thing that could have made them better would have been some El Famous salsa). We went through a couple of the tents and got a bag from Public Works with flower seeds and a Frisbee, the kids got temporary tattoos from another booth. We walked home to open the new box of popsicles - pretty tasty. Needless to say after the popsicles a bath was much needed.
Nick was very disappointed that his "dog" went down the drain - I didn't understand at first but then he showed me his hand where his "dog" tattoo was and tears were streaming down his face. Nick went to bed speedy quick after that - poor kid. Now, Rob and I are watching Ferris Bullers Day Off and maybe we will watch our new netflix. Well, I guess that is about all - took the day off from being nervous and scared - I still have a couple more of those available. Visualizing my healthy body and a sunny Sunday, Tree