I'm a Little Sad Saturday

Yes, I'm back. Theresa told me tonight that I will be doing her blog entries as long as she is in the hospital. This should be all the motivation we need to keep flooding the universe with positive healing thoughts for Theresa. The day started off in a hurry. I got Gary out the door with some juice boxes and snacks for the train ride down to Union Station. He was off to pick up Rob and the kids for their Metra ride to National Train Day. I called Theresa after he left. She said she has a new bed...Yeah! She had already had breakfast and a shower. She was a little tired so I kept the call brief, promising to call her again later in the afternoon. When I did call her back she was having an issue with gas pain and they had given her something for it. She's completely unhooked from all meds. I thought all of this, minus the discomfort part, sounded good. Joanna called me to say she, Ole and Tony were going to head up for a visit. I told her I would wait for Gary and then go up for the evening. Everything rolled in together. Gary arrived home. I called Theresa to see if she wanted me to bring anything special for her. Rob and the kids were already with her. They had a nice visit. Theresa took a 2 loop walk with the kiddos and they told her all about their train adventures. They had so many stories to share. They also had all of their trampoline fun to share. Rob told Tree they were going to go home for movie night and popcorn. I think he also mentioned an earlier bedtime...right! Shortly after Rob left with the kids, their neighbors stopped in with some fruit and flowers. Theresa was sad the neighbor kids had just missed Ellie and Nick. Jo and Ole arrived and it was a changing of the guard. Tony kept Theresa's spirits up and she did another 2 loop walk with Tony. They left shortly after the walk ended. Then I got THE CALL. I knew instantly that Tree was crying. She said she just didn't feel good. She couldn't find a comfortable position. She was tired and hurting. We were on our way. She promised me she would walk down to the nurse's station and get some cranberry juice. I figured this would get her out of the room and buy us a few extra minutes.

We got to her room and she was in bed watching the food channel. I don't know if this is a good choice when you are on a full liquid diet and you're really sick of the few choices that are available. She got up to go to the toilet and getting back into bed she took in a breath that started her coughing and led to her vomiting. That will be the end of the cranberry juice for awhile. In a deja vu flashback, Theresa got into the recliner, I covered her up and began massaging her head. This time around, Gary was with us, so he worked on her feet. We massaged until her nurse came in to check on her and she began shivering. She got back into bed and we worked with the pillows to try to find a comfortable arrangement. We had one grouping that felt good and she asked how to lay them out so she could repeat the process later if need be. It really didn't matter, she was restless again. The nurse came back with some ibuprophen for Tree and changed the dressing with me so that I can do it for Theresa at home. We asked if she could up the heat a few degrees in the room. I told her that Theresa had been shivering and she took Theresa's temp instantly. 99 degrees. Nothing out of the ordinary, but Tree is to let her know if she feels hot. The first round of tears started. I'm all about shifting gears, but this was a hard place to get her out of. A few tissues later, we were back to trying to find a comfortable place to just be. She sat in chairs, sat up in bed, reclined in bed, got up to use the toilet, tried the bed again. Restless and uncomfortable. I suggested that she try a few of our favorite computer games to relax. She told me she truly is having a hard time focusing. Not just mentally focusing, but visually as well. I think she needs a good stretch of sleep. Housekeeping came in a midnight last night to empty her waste can...not too quietly! Although she's in a new bed, it's still a re inflating bed and makes a whirring noise every time she shifts her weight. At least the machine that goes beep...beep...beep is gone. I could tell that the ibuprophen was starting to work and it was the end of visiting hours. I told her we'd be back with some permitted goodies tomorrow for Mother's Day. She said it didn't matter it was just another day. That's when it happened, her little chin began the tell tale quiver and the tears began to fall. This is the sad part. I felt terrible. We hugged, I rubbed her arms, but I can't make it better. She's uncomfortable and none of my tricks are working. The loud speaker announcement told us it was time to go. Theresa decided to walk us to the elevator. I showed her where there is a family waiting room around the corner from the elevator. It's a good space for a visit with the kids. There are vending machines and lots of room to run around. We hugged and kissed good night. She told us we were out of focus to her...I chose the moment to make faces at her. She laughed so I think she is probably seeing more than she thinks she is.

So it's really crappy that she's in the hospital for Mother's Day. I'll probably be up all night trying to figure out what I can do or make for her to lift her spirits. It's been a really hard week. With the loss of Uncle Bill and the surgery, I think it's just a lot to wrap our heads around. Although it was time to bid farewell to Scarlett, I think Theresa feels a little duped. There have been so many things that she finds out about after the fact. It's difficult to take it all in. I gave her a card yesterday...it was a chocolate chip cookie with stick figure body parts, making muscles. The inside said "You're one tough cookie." She is. Today the cookie crumbled a little. Hopefully we'll help her to have all the pieces put back together tomorrow...

Please join me in visualizing Theresa's speedy recovery, an uneventful convalescence, a rested body and mind, smiles instead of tears, and the new, normal, exceptional Theresa. Happy Mother's Day to Theresa and all of the mother's reading her blog! Thanks for continuing to send positive thoughts Theresa's way. -Paula